I may have a drinking problem
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: London, Great Britain
Posts: 3
I may have a drinking problem
Hi all. I'm 22 years old and to be blunt, I seem to lose all self control when drinking and will continue to drink until continuing to do so is no longer possible. For example, I spent the early part of the week for a friends birthday and my drinking was just not normal. I pretty much insisted on staying in the pub whilst others went to have a look at some of the tourist venues and the night ended with me being physically ejected from a nightclub at 3am. I also was very abusive to bar staff who told me to be less rowdy and fell and injured myself on several occasions, including bumping my head somehow. This is not necessarily atypical for me even when not on holiday, although it is an extreme example which has left me concerned.
Of course this sounds pretty alcoholic but I just feel like that if I was an alcoholic there would be other patterns that I dont show.
-I never begin drinking alone although I often continue drinking alone if the night ends early. And I will normally have at least a couple of more drinks when I get home either way.
- I often do not feel like drinking at all. I have other interests and am very clear about not wanting to mix alcohol into them. I find it routine to reject the opportunity to drink in these situations. Sometimes I will have made absolutely no plans and simply prefer to stay at home and watch TV when invited out drinking.
-I sometimes go for long periods without touching any alcohol, last year for 3 months whilst I had exams and never really thought about it.
-Pretty much never drink more often that once a week.
On the other hand:
-When I do drink I freely admit that it could end at any time and in any place, and that I will simply not stop until the bars close or I run out of money.
-I very much enjoy the confidence that alcohol gives me when talking with strangers, something Im not naturally very good at. I can remember thinking when I started drinking how wonderful it was to chat up girls when drunk compared with being sober and I do still think of 'drunk me' as being vastly superior to 'sober me' in social settings.
-I hide the extent of my drinking from family and friends. Normally if Im going out I will have 3/4 beers at home to make it look like I'm drinking less.
-Sometimes I am relieved if certain friends leave early so my drinking can escalate freely. In fact there are several dive bars in London which I relish finishing the night in (typically alone) and many of the clientèle are outright alcoholics or borderline alcoholics whom I feel more comfortable drinking with.
-I have a habit of going on benders when I do drink that last for days at a time that mean Im in a state of continued drunkenness most of this time.
-My tolerance has become ludicrously high and I can comfortably drink 15-20 pints in a night whilst showing the effects of perhaps 7 pints. I can comfortably convey complete sobriety until after about 10 pints.
So my question is essentially whether I am merely an extreme binge drinker or whether this sounds like the beginning of late stage alcoholism. In your experience does this sound like the behaviour of someone who will eventually find themselves drinking shots of vodka alone at the breakfast table in 10 or 20 years?
I am going to try and get my drinking habits under control because I genuinely dont see how I can continue the way I drink. Currently I'm lying in bed with a vicious hangover, even though I havent drank since Thursday at about 6am. Certain friends who I care about very much have stopped associating with me and I am very sure it is over drunken arguments, which were my fault.
I just wish I could go out, have maybe 6 beers and come home having enjoyed the night without the stupid things Ive done, the physical injuries, the hangovers, the feelings of regret and shame that last for days after but I'm not sure if I'm just deluding myself that this is even possible.
Thanks you,
Freddy.
Of course this sounds pretty alcoholic but I just feel like that if I was an alcoholic there would be other patterns that I dont show.
-I never begin drinking alone although I often continue drinking alone if the night ends early. And I will normally have at least a couple of more drinks when I get home either way.
- I often do not feel like drinking at all. I have other interests and am very clear about not wanting to mix alcohol into them. I find it routine to reject the opportunity to drink in these situations. Sometimes I will have made absolutely no plans and simply prefer to stay at home and watch TV when invited out drinking.
-I sometimes go for long periods without touching any alcohol, last year for 3 months whilst I had exams and never really thought about it.
-Pretty much never drink more often that once a week.
On the other hand:
-When I do drink I freely admit that it could end at any time and in any place, and that I will simply not stop until the bars close or I run out of money.
-I very much enjoy the confidence that alcohol gives me when talking with strangers, something Im not naturally very good at. I can remember thinking when I started drinking how wonderful it was to chat up girls when drunk compared with being sober and I do still think of 'drunk me' as being vastly superior to 'sober me' in social settings.
-I hide the extent of my drinking from family and friends. Normally if Im going out I will have 3/4 beers at home to make it look like I'm drinking less.
-Sometimes I am relieved if certain friends leave early so my drinking can escalate freely. In fact there are several dive bars in London which I relish finishing the night in (typically alone) and many of the clientèle are outright alcoholics or borderline alcoholics whom I feel more comfortable drinking with.
-I have a habit of going on benders when I do drink that last for days at a time that mean Im in a state of continued drunkenness most of this time.
-My tolerance has become ludicrously high and I can comfortably drink 15-20 pints in a night whilst showing the effects of perhaps 7 pints. I can comfortably convey complete sobriety until after about 10 pints.
So my question is essentially whether I am merely an extreme binge drinker or whether this sounds like the beginning of late stage alcoholism. In your experience does this sound like the behaviour of someone who will eventually find themselves drinking shots of vodka alone at the breakfast table in 10 or 20 years?
I am going to try and get my drinking habits under control because I genuinely dont see how I can continue the way I drink. Currently I'm lying in bed with a vicious hangover, even though I havent drank since Thursday at about 6am. Certain friends who I care about very much have stopped associating with me and I am very sure it is over drunken arguments, which were my fault.
I just wish I could go out, have maybe 6 beers and come home having enjoyed the night without the stupid things Ive done, the physical injuries, the hangovers, the feelings of regret and shame that last for days after but I'm not sure if I'm just deluding myself that this is even possible.
Thanks you,
Freddy.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Freddy! You've found a great place to talk it over. Glad to have you with us.
I could be your mother
- but I once drank like you. It was mostly fun in the early years - but (like you) I never drank like other people. Once it got in my system there was no way to predict what might happen. It was never enough. One led to the whole bottle. Over time, I became completely dependent on it. I spent decades trying to manage the amounts I drank, and always failed. It was my wish also to just have a few and enjoy myself without chaos and drama - but it never worked out that way. It isn't how often we drink - but what it does to us when we do.
Only you can know if you're an alcoholic, but for what it's worth - I did find myself drinking shots of vodka alone at the breakfast table.
I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting Freddy.
I could be your mother
- but I once drank like you. It was mostly fun in the early years - but (like you) I never drank like other people. Once it got in my system there was no way to predict what might happen. It was never enough. One led to the whole bottle. Over time, I became completely dependent on it. I spent decades trying to manage the amounts I drank, and always failed. It was my wish also to just have a few and enjoy myself without chaos and drama - but it never worked out that way. It isn't how often we drink - but what it does to us when we do.Only you can know if you're an alcoholic, but for what it's worth - I did find myself drinking shots of vodka alone at the breakfast table.
I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting Freddy.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,632
Welcome to SR Freddy -
Determining whether you are or or not an alcoholic by definition is less important than deciding that alcohol causes problems in your life and you commit to changing them. Making the change now will be easier than if you wait.
If you continue on your current trajectory then yes, you will likely develop into an alcoholic by anyones definition. However, it sounds like you are on the right path to seeking a different outcome.
Determining whether you are or or not an alcoholic by definition is less important than deciding that alcohol causes problems in your life and you commit to changing them. Making the change now will be easier than if you wait.
If you continue on your current trajectory then yes, you will likely develop into an alcoholic by anyones definition. However, it sounds like you are on the right path to seeking a different outcome.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Seattle,WA
Posts: 40
Welcome! I considered myself a binge drinker where I'd overdo it once in a while but usually not drink during the week or anything. This was late teens and 20's. it got much worse in my 30's.
Alcohol abuse patterns where you lose control are usually a sign of a problem even if it isnt frequent. It almost certainly will progress.
Alcohol abuse patterns where you lose control are usually a sign of a problem even if it isnt frequent. It almost certainly will progress.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to the family. It sounds like alcohol is causing problems for you and you'd be better off not drinking. Why not stop drinking for three months and see how you feel then? If you have trouble staying sober then you know you've got a problem.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Alcohol isn't my vice, so I'm not sure if it's even appropriate to comment here, but a couple of things you said stood out to me.
First, I think you've already figured out if the way you drink is healthy for you or not.
Second, while you may feel more confident and comfortable talking to girls when you're drunk, being so probably limits your ability to pick up on the fact that many women do NOT enjoy drunken attention from men.
Third, it's not really that likely that you're coming across as sober after 10 pints, though I'm sure you feel like you are.
This is a great place to find support in making changes.
First, I think you've already figured out if the way you drink is healthy for you or not.
Second, while you may feel more confident and comfortable talking to girls when you're drunk, being so probably limits your ability to pick up on the fact that many women do NOT enjoy drunken attention from men.
Third, it's not really that likely that you're coming across as sober after 10 pints, though I'm sure you feel like you are.
This is a great place to find support in making changes.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Kudos on taking pause and thinking about your drinking habits. I was a "normie" for most of my life. Then I wasn't. It happened that quick for me. I had some of the best times of my life during those years, and I wish I could go back, but I've crossed the line into alcoholism and it sucks but it's my reality. So I don't drink. 1.5 years now. Do I miss the fun I had on the occasions where I didn't pass out or wind up in blackout (those are SCARY) yes, but I mourn them and move on. It's just not safe for me to even have a drink at a bar knowing I have every intention of stopping after one. Sometimes I could, but once the poison gets in my blood the decision making is not my own. It's like I'm possessed by a demon who controls my actions. And I don't like that. I want to make my OWN choices and the only way to be sure that happens is not to even have one.
Hope my experience helps in some way as you determine the best way to live your best life. Oh, and it's been said before but bears repeating - it is progressive and does get worse. And it sneaks up on you in the worst way. All of a sudden you are a mess and you know it and it is way harder to get a handle on once you are really in the grips.
Hope my experience helps in some way as you determine the best way to live your best life. Oh, and it's been said before but bears repeating - it is progressive and does get worse. And it sneaks up on you in the worst way. All of a sudden you are a mess and you know it and it is way harder to get a handle on once you are really in the grips.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: London, Great Britain
Posts: 3
OK guys, really appreciate all the advice.
Think I'll lay off the booze entirely for 3 months and see how I feel after that. I've got some more important things I would have sorted out by now if I wasnt wasting my life lying in bed hungover or hanging about the pubs wasting my money, so it's good timing in any case.
Even if I get to July without touching a drop, I'll see how I feel about drinking long term anyway. Doesnt seem to agree with me, alcoholic or not, one of these days I'm going to fall over and split my head open before I get to that stage anyway as things are.
Will post on here to update a few times in between or if anything comes up.
Thanks again
Freddy
PS: Reminds me of that Simpsons episode 'Duffless' if anyone remembers that
Think I'll lay off the booze entirely for 3 months and see how I feel after that. I've got some more important things I would have sorted out by now if I wasnt wasting my life lying in bed hungover or hanging about the pubs wasting my money, so it's good timing in any case.
Even if I get to July without touching a drop, I'll see how I feel about drinking long term anyway. Doesnt seem to agree with me, alcoholic or not, one of these days I'm going to fall over and split my head open before I get to that stage anyway as things are.
Will post on here to update a few times in between or if anything comes up.
Thanks again
Freddy
PS: Reminds me of that Simpsons episode 'Duffless' if anyone remembers that
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: London, Great Britain
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by purpleknight 
Welcome to the Forum Freddy!! Great to have you onboard!! 
The forum obviously has alot of great people just trying to help each other out and it's rare to find that in real life never mind online. Glad to have found it really because it's very hard to discuss it with friends/family before it's too late
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Middletown, CT
Posts: 102
Welcome, glad you're here - I always feel that if you think you might have a problem, you have a problem. Those who don't have a drinking problem don't think about whether or not they have one.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by FreddyLondon
. In your experience does this sound like the behaviour of someone who will eventually find themselves drinking shots of vodka alone at the breakfast table in 10 or 20 years?
I am going to try and get my drinking habits under control because I genuinely dont see how I can continue the way I drink. Currently I'm lying in bed with a vicious hangover, even though I havent drank since Thursday at about 6am. Certain friends who I care about very much have stopped associating with me and I am very sure it is over drunken arguments, which were my fault.
I just wish I could go out, have maybe 6 beers and come home having enjoyed the night without the stupid things Ive done, the physical injuries, the hangovers, the feelings of regret and shame that last for days after but I'm not sure if I'm just deluding myself that this is even possible.
Thanks you,
Freddy.
I am going to try and get my drinking habits under control because I genuinely dont see how I can continue the way I drink. Currently I'm lying in bed with a vicious hangover, even though I havent drank since Thursday at about 6am. Certain friends who I care about very much have stopped associating with me and I am very sure it is over drunken arguments, which were my fault.
I just wish I could go out, have maybe 6 beers and come home having enjoyed the night without the stupid things Ive done, the physical injuries, the hangovers, the feelings of regret and shame that last for days after but I'm not sure if I'm just deluding myself that this is even possible.
Thanks you,
Freddy.
Drinking like you do, I wouldn't count on being around in 10 or 20 years. I drank like that and had reached the end at the same age you are now, 22. I was not going to see 23.
Aside from physical and mental decay, alcoholism kills people in all sorts of ways. I have lost alcoholic friends through auto crashes, house fires, bar fights, drowning, falling of buildings and suicide.
At the moment you are trying to pin down the cause of your drinking and the solution. The DSMV now refers to alcohol use disorder as pregressive in nature and depending on where you are on the scale, might recommend control or abstinence. For severe cases, abstinence is the only known solution.
If, when you honestly want to, you are unable to stop altogether (and stay stopped) or if when you drink you have little or no control over the amount you take, you may be alcoholic.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Good to see you thinking things over- a very mature and considered analysis, which is admirable.
You have no off switch. You are young. Things do tend to get worse over time, when alcohol is a problem.
Its great you are not physically addicted, but don't put all your money on that continuing
You have no off switch. You are young. Things do tend to get worse over time, when alcohol is a problem.
Its great you are not physically addicted, but don't put all your money on that continuing
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Island Park , NY
Posts: 373
Welcome Freddy , Glad to see you are trying to get a grip on the consequences ofyour drinking. I wish I had at your age, I'm 58 now and just got out of jail on my last DWI, have a alcohol sensing GPS bracelet on my ankle and a new friend that I have to pay for the next 3 years ,(my probation officer)! I am allowed to go to work (someone else must drive me) and go home for the next 57 days till they remove this bracelet. No life for a grown man I tell you. This episode of my drinking has cost me dearly in Money and many other things over $20,000 at last count. Wish I had quit when I started bumping my head and falling down with those mysterious aches and bruises/cuts! Do yourself a favor find something else to do while your young! By the way the girls do look better at closing time, but you might not to them! LOL Stay Strong and Well! Bobby
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