Day 24 clean and sober
painless
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: somerset
Posts: 138
Day 24 clean and sober
Cant believe its almost a month already since I destroyed my life and the love of my life from using drugs and all the lies that i told. I bought 2 self help books on lying so i never do this again. right now i find myself very truthful because i think before i speak and i never had to do this before this last run... i used to be so honest that i would tell the very truth even if it led to my very death. All my close friends would tell you... NEVER ASK PAINLESS A QUESTION U CANT HANDLE HIS TRUTH ABOUT... But for some reason my lies are the ones where i think its better to tell a lie then to hurt someone yet in the end my lies killed my love... Im giving her all the space she needs to heal because I had a psychic reading where the psychic told me of a 2 month separation but a love renewal come June and a honeymoon in Greece on the Island of Santorini which was our original plans. She also told me that the original ring must not be used and that she felt I already was in the process of re doing the ring which totally blew my mind because I mailed the ring to my jeweler to have made bigger and more beautiful. She mentioned the babies name that has a strong connection to a Saint... then i freaked out because she said the exact saints name which is the exact name we chose long ago to name our first born... shes the real deal... everything she said is happening... i just gotta back off and give her space... my question is have any of you destroyed your relationships and then after time allowed for a healing??? Im getting a private psychiatrist this week for deep hypnosis cognitive regressive therapy where they take you back in time to release certain fears and problems... I just have very deep seated troubles that I need out in the open so i can heal and be the man my woman needs in a couple months.. I believe in a higher power called Jehova God and im a christian and not a Jehovas whitness.. I believe god and my first dead wife paired us up. i believe in destiny... god will see us all through... i pray for all of us as one... have a blessed day people...
xxxx
painless
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: somerset
Posts: 138
Day 24 clean...
Got me 24 days clean today not counting the 5 days in detox cause i was given something that kept me knocked out because i was extremely combative to the staff. i look back to my first post on here and at 48 years old i still cry when i read it. i wasnt even in the right state of mind yet when i typed those words and i feel as if at times a stranger wrote those words about me... they must be my true true feelings if i cant remember even writing them. i been living in the gym almost 2 xs a day making insane growth due to my good genes. i ust to be a very big powere lifter with an american powerlifting association national bench press record for my age of 33 hitting a 600 pound bend press . today im just hitting 425lbs but dont forget im 48 and there are plenty of young lifters twice my size muscle wise that cant life half of what i can.. working out keeps me sane and feeling awesome. i know i look good now especially after loosing 38 pounds in just 29 days. the weight just shreds off me when i train hard and for the first time in this mans life my abdominal muscles are starting to stick out and i will and i repeat i will have an awesome 6 pack come summer time.. DRUGS HAVE NO PLACE IN MY LIST OF GOALS. I figured if i keep doing my routie ill be able to use heron again when im in my late 80's early 90's and by then who the hell wants anyone to change their diapers??? ill go out with a bang.. lol... just kidding of course.... i feel awesome and no drug ever made me feel this good except the love of my women whose now gone... gone due to my lies and that i would do anything to gain back... i see us together in a few months. she needs time to heal from my torture... miss my tt.... have a great night... love PAINLESS... cant wait to post on my 30th day... im proud of this man... very very proud... no one can take that from me. no one ever!!!! god bless and good night...
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