Totally lost - depressed
 

New to the forum. I've drank one beer in the past 98 days and it tasted like crap which is the good news, the bad news is I'm totally depressed. I feel agitated, hopeless, tired, unmotivated, you name the negative feeling and I'm having it. I'm 44 and I drank actively (3-5 times week) since I was 18. Probably got blitzed at least twice a week. I spent the past 26 years getting drunk then recovering to only get drunk again which is totally depressing to me to finally realize. I have no craving for beer or alcohol anymore but I find myself wanting to drink just to make the depression go away. Is this normal and will this dark cloud go away?

Scooter - my dark cloud was a pervasive feeling of lethargy, probably some depression, which lasted (to varying degrees) for six months, at which time the lethargy and brain-fog and depressed emotions began to consistenly clear. From what I have read here on SR, it is a common occurrence to experience these kinds of feelings.

Wanting to escape these feelings by drinking may be a sign that you need to add something to your plans for sobriety; do you work a program of any kind (AA, therapy, AVRT)?

Stay strong. Keep posting.

And congrats on 98 sober days.

Hi Scooter, Welcome to SR

Have you replaced the time void spent drinking with new activities?

Many here will point out that it's important to find new things to do with ourselves. I'm also a beginner so am looking at new options of things to get fun out of, instead of killing myself slowly.

Talking with your doctor is always a good option also as you might be having a slight depression.

But keep one thing in mind, 98 days is a hell of an achievement!

Depression is tough stuff. But alcohol is not the cure, will just make it worse, we all know that. Maybe seek some help? I had depression for many years, I'm going to a psychotherapist now, feeling better bit by bit.

Congratulations on your 98 days, great achievement, don't throw it away.

Welcome Scooter - it's so good to have you with us. You're not alone with your feelings.

I had those same emotions for about the first 6 mos. I had used alcohol to cope my whole life. It felt so strange to be without it (even though it had caused me nothing but misery). It took awhile to get used to the 'new normal' - but I gradually learned to live in a new way, without falling back on getting numb and foggy. Congratulations on your 98 days. I'm glad you're here to talk thing over with us.

Thanks for the replies
 

Thanks for all the replies so quickly...

I am training for an Ironman which is keeping me busy which is why I'm surprised I a experiencing depression. I'm not drinking which is a positive and I have to remember that. Thanks again for the replies, they helped.