Pathetic
 

I'm on day 1 and having a huge panic attack. I went into town earlier and had to leave as my heart was racing.

Normally, if feeling like this, I'd have a glass of wine. It would take the edge off. I feel like such a failure.

Doctors appointment this week, hopefully it won't have me feeling worse :(

Don't say you are pathetic, on the contrary you are courageous!

I would most definitely talk with my doctor about withdrawal. It's serious business and not to mess around with. Just be honest about the amount you drink, he can prescribe something for a safe detox. You are not the first or the last one he sees with an addiction and won't judge you.

You can do this, beleive me, once sober/detoxed you will feel a lot better!

I just feel like such a mess.

My parents are here, I really think I'd have cracked and had a 'small' wine by now. It's not even 4pm yet! How did it come to this? I've gone from social drinker to alcoholic and I have no idea how/why really.

That's the first time I've admitted I'm an alcoholic. It's not a good feeling.

It may not be a good feeling admitting it but it is a great and necessary step taken.
Well done.

It's not that uncommon to have severe anxiety after quitting. I paced constantly when I first quit,both day and night for a couple of days.
Everything will work out. Just keep sober and things will change for the best.
I know it sounds impossible,but it can be done.

I've just got to maintain the courage and say it to my doctor. I'm determined at the moment but it's easier to think than actually face it.

I'm going to tell my husband about this site. He's not an alcoholic but I would say he drinks too much. He's cut down a lot recently and only has a drink at weekends (he's in control of it basically). I won't tell him my username I don't think but I will let him know that April 9th 2014 is first sober day.

The thing is, now I've calmed down, my head tries to convince me it's not a problem, one glass will be ok. It's never just one glass though, hasn't been for well over a year. I always feel like I need two bottles in the fridge - I won't get through them (usually only one) but it's a comfort thing. It's just horrendous realising all of this.

There is half a bottle in the fridge. I've not touched it but don't want to throw it away in case my parents notice (they know I like a drink but not the extent and I'm not ready to let them into this just yet). It's tempting, especially given the panic attack I had, but I won't touch it. I am finally ready to do this.

Sorry for going on.

Go on as much as you want.
That is what this site is for.We're all here for support.

Don't have any worries about talking to the doc. Mine was very receptive to me coming clean about drinking too much.

Thank you, I think he will be good. We've dealt with some sensitive medical problems previously and he was great.

I'm not sure what the change in my attitude in down too, possibly the fact I told my parents last night some dark feelings I have after having had one too many. They've not mentioned it but it must be so hard to see your daughter drunk on wine. Yesterday was a bad day though. I woke up feeling terrible (glass of wine with dinner out and then a bottle at home) so I drank again. So stupid, I don't even enjoy it!

At some point after the line is crossed, we just drink to keep the withdrawal at Symptoms bay. It's no longer a fun thing to do.

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a drink! Actually, that's not true. I went out for a meal with work colleagues some weeks ago. I shared a bottle of prosecco with a couple of them, ate then was home for 11pm. Of course I then drank another bottle and don't remember going to bed. Great.

I had lots or regrets about things I had done in the past while drunk.
The best thing to do is not fall into that cycle where you drink to forget things you did,only to do more things you'll regret.

It's a terrible cycle and I was caught in that for a while.
Once you get some sobriety behind you and the anxiety starts to lift it gets much better.
Use this site as much as possible. There's always somebody here to chat with as it's world wide. It sure helped me. I was in a pretty rough place over 8 months ago.
And now I wake every day ready to take on whatever happens with a clear head.

All I want is to wake up and get on with my day without thinking about wine. Hubby text asking if I need anything from town. I said no. Little steps.

you're not pathetic.... you're on a challenging and heroic journey!!!

Congratulations, you!

It's not going to be easy, but it will get easier.

Well done for facing up to the challenge and stepping onto the sober path!!

:ring

It's terrifying, I didn't realise how scared I would be.

I just need to stop thinking about how I ended up in this horrible place. I want to be normal :(

You are far, far, from pathetic, needinghelp. You are very brave and have just taken a very courageous step. Welcome to SR.

I think I feel pathetic for having got to this stage.

I've got a lovely family, other than GAD I haven't had any major traumas, and hold down a professional job. How can I be an alcoholic? How could I have let it get so bad? How do I get through this?

The past few days have been terrible. I need to change it's just terrifying :(

A very warm welcome, needinghelp :wave: We're all in this together and we understand. There is nothing pathetic about facing up to a problem. It can take enormous courage to reach out for help :grouphug:

Welcome..
Like Headlump said, it takes courage to decide that you have a problem and want to change things.
But you are no longer alone with it and NEVER need be again:)
G

Perhaps discouraged and overwhelmed are better words for what you are feeling; these feelings can be rather debilitating.

You are not alone. Many people with good lives, good professions, good health and good families have abused alcohol. The good news is that you CAN leave alcohol abuse behind you, move forward and truly enjoy the good life you have.

Hang in there needinghelp - things will get better I promise.
Let us know how you get on at the Drs :)

D