After Four Months of Rehab I'm Back
After Four Months of Rehab I'm Back
I had both great experiences and terrible ones. I'm sure many of you remember my post on Nov. 18th of 2013–the day I entered rehab. I said that I would document my experience, but with the fog that I was in I neglected to think of the fact that I probably wouldn't have internet access, which I didn't.
I hated it at first, mostly because I was craving, but I told myself it was because I felt confined. It was an in-patient facility. After a few weeks I started to do quite well, but ultimately relapsed three times during my 78 day stint. The first was on an outing with my mom (I snuck away), during the second I snuck out of an AA meeting (no one ever even noticed) and the third was on my first overnight outing. I still felt like by time I left I was ready to give up alcohol for good.
I relapsed the day I left and drank for a week straight alone in my apartment in the city. I ultimately called the treatment center, got taken back and gave up everything (my job, apartment and life in the city) to move a state away to live closer to the facility. After an additional 28 day stay I entered a sober living house.
I was happier than I had ever been in my life (or so I thought), until I relapsed AGAIN. I got kicked out of my house in the middle of the night. I freaked out and drove another state away while I slept in my car. I ended up going back to my mother's house where I continued to drink and ended up in the ER twice in one week. I called the treatment center and after a few conversations they refused any of my additional calls.
Right now I have almost 48 hours and craving again.
I hated it at first, mostly because I was craving, but I told myself it was because I felt confined. It was an in-patient facility. After a few weeks I started to do quite well, but ultimately relapsed three times during my 78 day stint. The first was on an outing with my mom (I snuck away), during the second I snuck out of an AA meeting (no one ever even noticed) and the third was on my first overnight outing. I still felt like by time I left I was ready to give up alcohol for good.
I relapsed the day I left and drank for a week straight alone in my apartment in the city. I ultimately called the treatment center, got taken back and gave up everything (my job, apartment and life in the city) to move a state away to live closer to the facility. After an additional 28 day stay I entered a sober living house.
I was happier than I had ever been in my life (or so I thought), until I relapsed AGAIN. I got kicked out of my house in the middle of the night. I freaked out and drove another state away while I slept in my car. I ended up going back to my mother's house where I continued to drink and ended up in the ER twice in one week. I called the treatment center and after a few conversations they refused any of my additional calls.
Right now I have almost 48 hours and craving again.
I have heard about how wonderful the AA group is at Fremont in Seattle. I stay sober with the help of folks where I live, and there is probably a meeting soon near you.
I like the NA literature, and you could say that I prefer that program but there is only one meeting a week here.
I like the NA literature, and you could say that I prefer that program but there is only one meeting a week here.
I'm sorry for your troubles Christy but I'm glad you made it back to us
48 hours is a start - build on that
These are good tips for dealing with cravings:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
48 hours is a start - build on that
These are good tips for dealing with cravings:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
I just wish I were still in Seattle! After I gave up everything, I'm in a more rural area of Washington. But thanks, Coldfusion, I've also heard of the Fremont groups being great. Hopefully I can get a job and make it back up to that area.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Johannesburg
Posts: 203
I'm sorry that this path has been so hard for you but you are showing what an amazing spirit you have by keeping on getting up and fighting. Keep going, I relapsed over and over for years
but I knew I would never stop trying.
All the best ......
but I knew I would never stop trying.
All the best ......
Still going strong today. I'm leaving for a doctor's appointment in a few minutes. While working on getting health insurance, I was recently pre-diagnosed bipolar. The treatment center I attended thinks that may be hindering my recovery.
I really appreciate all of your guys' comments. I thought I had a pretty good plan before my most recent relapse. In fact it was a really good plan. I was living in a sober house, attending IOP and all of my friends were clean and sober. Right now my plan is to get connected back with my church, find another job and try some meetings around here-or at least in Seattle when I make it up there. I might be up there on Friday to meet with an old co-worker and another friend from treatment who just got out and lives in the area. Maybe I'll find a meeting for us to hit up.
I really appreciate all of your guys' comments. I thought I had a pretty good plan before my most recent relapse. In fact it was a really good plan. I was living in a sober house, attending IOP and all of my friends were clean and sober. Right now my plan is to get connected back with my church, find another job and try some meetings around here-or at least in Seattle when I make it up there. I might be up there on Friday to meet with an old co-worker and another friend from treatment who just got out and lives in the area. Maybe I'll find a meeting for us to hit up.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome back!
Try not to be to hard on yourself. You did some great moves for sobriety, willing to change things in your life. You just need to find something that will make it stick this time arround.
Be good to yourself, you got this!
Try not to be to hard on yourself. You did some great moves for sobriety, willing to change things in your life. You just need to find something that will make it stick this time arround.
Be good to yourself, you got this!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
It was suggested to me that I do something different, I.e. Go to AA meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps and I accepted all that as great advice but didn't do any of it except skulk into a meeting now and again.
Not to worry though because if the feeling inside that I was going against what would get me sober became too painful I would just reach out to find people to tell me I was doing A OK and off I would go on my crazy journey for another few months totally in denial of reality.
Hi Chrissie,
Welcome back. Unlike rehab and sober houses AA and SR will not kick you out if you stumble but we will tell you instead to keep coming back.
A girlfriend of mine back East had gotten kicked out of rehab and also from her sober housing. She ended up going to NA and after a few "slips" (I hate this word LOL) she managed to get clean and has been clean for close to a decade. Her drug was heroin and she had no family support so if she could do it, so can you
This is not hopeless and I am also sure you learned some things in treatment.
It's good that you are planning to hit a meeting Friday in Seattle but here are my suggestions:
a) Find a meeting close to where you live right now (at your mom's) and make it your home group. Try to arrive early, talk to the ladies there and be completely honest about what is going on. Ask the ladies for their phone numbers. This will give you a support system in the physical world. Start working the steps restarting at step 1. There is a big difference between going to AA and working the program.
b) Read about AVRT so you can recognize that nasty little voice which talked you into picking up while in treatment and got you kicked out of sober housing. Ignore the negativity about other programs but check out the techniques. Some good stuff there.
c) Join us at the 24 hours club where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours. Before you know it, those days add up http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4575296
Check in and read on SR everyday and make use of the chatroom. Some very nice supportive people there and Opivotal who moderates it is a sweetheart.
and the most important thing: Don't give up on yourself.
Welcome back. Unlike rehab and sober houses AA and SR will not kick you out if you stumble but we will tell you instead to keep coming back.
A girlfriend of mine back East had gotten kicked out of rehab and also from her sober housing. She ended up going to NA and after a few "slips" (I hate this word LOL) she managed to get clean and has been clean for close to a decade. Her drug was heroin and she had no family support so if she could do it, so can you
This is not hopeless and I am also sure you learned some things in treatment.
It's good that you are planning to hit a meeting Friday in Seattle but here are my suggestions:
a) Find a meeting close to where you live right now (at your mom's) and make it your home group. Try to arrive early, talk to the ladies there and be completely honest about what is going on. Ask the ladies for their phone numbers. This will give you a support system in the physical world. Start working the steps restarting at step 1. There is a big difference between going to AA and working the program.
b) Read about AVRT so you can recognize that nasty little voice which talked you into picking up while in treatment and got you kicked out of sober housing. Ignore the negativity about other programs but check out the techniques. Some good stuff there.
c) Join us at the 24 hours club where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours. Before you know it, those days add up http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4575296
Check in and read on SR everyday and make use of the chatroom. Some very nice supportive people there and Opivotal who moderates it is a sweetheart.
and the most important thing: Don't give up on yourself.
You can do it!
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