abetterlife45

I had a relapse yesterday after 70 days of sobriety, the longest I've ever made it. I have been through some rough stuff lately with my son and still didn't drink. Then last week I got myself so worked up over wanting a drink that I finally caved. It felt great at the moment, but I feel like a failure today. I am finally working the steps in AA, which has helped so much. I think I wasn't working very hard recently. So many things keep coming up to keep me from meetings. I haven't been able to meet with my sponsor in a while because she's been working a lot. I'm so frustrated and mad at myself. I knew I would be but I didn't care. I guess I'll just start over and try harder this time. It sucks to be back on day one!!

Dee74

Stop thinking of yourself as a failure
Take this stumble and learn the lessons from it.

when I get worked up I've had to learn to reach out for help. No ifs ands or buts.
Nothing is as important as my continued recovery. It's the axle on which the rest of my life works on.

Asking for help is really hard to do the first couple of times, but it will get easier abetterlife

Welcome back
D

Ruby2

Yay on seventy days. It stinks to start again but you did seventy days. That's a big thing.

Since you mentioned AA and that you have a sponsor who is really busy with work I will share something that my husband said to me this morning. He is in AA as well. I did feel like giving him a good kick in the shins at the time but it was because I was uncomfortable with what he said and hate to admit that he is right. My temporary sponsor is always busy too. Hard to get together and so were the last couple of women I had asked to sponsor me. I have developed a pattern of asking people who cannot ask a lot of me because of their schedules. Nothing is demanded of me and that is a sort of subconscious choice. So I never have to do any heavy lifting and have been coasting. I haven't had a drink over it this time but I am not progressing much either.

If you think this sponsor is really great maybe you can talk to her about a set time to meet? Or meet over the phone if you can't physically get together. If you can't do that maybe a temporary sponsor can help out? My husband had two sponsors once, each contributing different things.

Good on seventy days.

FeelingGreat

Hey abetter life, as long as you don't make relapsing a regular part of your life, can you use it as an opportunity for learning? What was the trigger, how did you feel, did you have any strategies for coping with the urge to drink?
I hope you can gain insight to get back on track.

KateL

You can do it again. xxxxx

stayonthepath

Dee is right about asking for help - I first got sober in February and was doing really well until I thought I could have a glass of wine and not relapse. I'd been checking in here up until then and it was a huge help. I should have remembered that when I had my 'wine thoughts' - and when I started hopping on and off the path I should have thought to check in here. As the song goes, everyone's got to learn sometime. Don't beat yourself up.

Treerat66

Bank the 70 days and get back up.

IOAA2

Hi and good your back.
Years ago an elderly sponsor said that in general we are more able to handle more as sobriety continues. He also added that many times it's the little things that put us over the edge and we pick up.
Attending many face to face meetings over the years has helped me in times of stress as there is a great feeling in chance meetings of other fellowship people that can kick start a positive feeling with only a nod or quick Hi. Sort of a reality check/reminder.

BE WELL

Thepatman

Dust off and get back at it. Don't disregard your 70 Days or consider them lost.

70 Days = A lot of booze your liver didn’t have to process ;-)