johnny2020

new on this site so I thought I'd write my first post. been trying to get long term recovery for the past 4 years and can't stay sober more than a couple months at a time. travel for work, and dating, and social situations are big triggers for me. also, my alcoholism is progressing now that I own my own business. I can drink whenever I please and have been going on some major week long benders lately. any words of encouragement are greatly appreciated.

Dee74

Hey Johnny - welcome...you'll find a lot of support here

what kinds of things have you tried to help you stay sober in the past?

D

Thepatman

Welcome!

Staying stopped needs changes in your hole lifestyle. Maybe you can wait before dating until you feel more solid? I know not having companionship is hard, but you have to be healthy and happy with yourself sober before you can be involved.

You got this, and sober your business will be better handled ;-)

johnny2020

i have done AA but not for awhile. i just hate that i cant get sober on my own. so i really need to get into some kind of program i guess. usually, when i abstain from alcohol i turn to working out and eating healthy but then as soon as that situation arises where i have a drink all hell breaks loose.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you stop drinking for good.

huntingtontx

Welcome to SR. You can find lots of support here. It helps me every day to post on the 24 hour thread and promise not to drink for the next twenty four hours. I find I can stay sober, One day at a time.

Justadude

Welcome! Some wonderful people here for support and advice.

Ghostlight1

Hello, and welcome.
I also tried to get sober for a long time. Years. It took me a long time to unlearn the behaviors that made me drink. I had to change things in my life and learn how not to drink.
My alcoholism progessed, too as it does with many alcoholics. Until I was drinking at 8am and going all day and week long benders.
I have a job where drinking is excepted, and man did I drink when I had the chance.

Finaly, I had to want to get sober more than I wanted to drink. This took a long time. I was a complete drunk by then and eveyone around me knew it. Except me. I was the last to know.
So it's good that you realize you have a problem. Now it's time to do something about it. For me it took action. I went to AA and found there are people who drank just like me. I didn't know that. I had blinders on and my only concern was my next drunk.
I didn't stick with AA, but I learned enough there to ruin my drinking.

Now, I Come here and read posts like yours and try and help those still suffering.
I always have in the back of my mind how I drank, and how I felt afetrwards-the remorse, anxiety and fear.
These things keep me sober.

So keep reading and posting you'll find lots of support here.
Best to you.

IOAA2

Hi. The first thing necessary is to get honest with OURselves about our drinking and this is a tough one as most seem to believe our own BS. We seem to be undisciplined people when it comes to drinking regarding all the promises we make about not drinking. Too many of us have egos that are out of control and won't face to face ask for help.
Getting sober and staying sober does require changes and alcohol being progressive, will never get any better and will eat us alive if we let it by continued drinking. Not a nice way to exist.

BE WELL

KateL

Hi Johnny. Just keep trying xxxxxxx

Eddiebuckle

When I first got sober, I used to roll my eyes when people would say that there was a difference between sobriety and not drinking. All the slogans like "it works if you work it", "one day at a time", etc. seemed stupid, and the suggestions that I go to 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor and work the steps made the whole thing seem like a cult.

But every time life got a little bit complicated or I encountered people or things that upset me, the urge to drink was almost overwhelming. And each time that happened, I did more of what they suggested. I went to my first AA meeting in December 2009 and haven't had a drink since.

As you pointed out, it's not that hard to stop drinking... it's staying stopped that's a problem. Whatever program or tools you choose to employ to stay "stopped" have to address the "situation that arises where I have to drink." Nobody HAS to drink - but we need the skills to deal with those challenges if we're going to succeed. Alcoholism being what it is, having "just one drink" is never an option, because eventually we end up in a worse place than the one that prompted us to quit the last time.

Check out the Youtube video "Rain in My Heart" - watch it from start to finish. If you think that the people in that documentary never were at the place you are now, you probably aren't capable of staying stopped yet.

Good luck.

MIRecovery

When I got desperate enough I really tried AA and it really worked

FreeOwl

heya 2020....

give AA a real and honest go.

I struggled too for a long time. Still somewhat, but including AA as part of my approach and starting to actively work the program helps.

I still need to improve on "working".... been stuck trying to complete the step one workbook now for weeks. But, I'm keeping at it. I'm coming here, I'm going to meetings at least when I really feel things getting shaky. I'm on 99 days and it's not always easy but it's better.

you can do it.

I travel for work too and don't have my own business but have a super-flexible remote work arrangement and when I travel for work there's booze culture all around. Despite that in the past 100 days I've been in Vegas for 10 days, Europe, countless airplanes and airports - all triggers of drinking habits. Yet - I've stayed sober through it all. AA and SR were big parts of that.

Dee74

hey Johnny
Yeah I hated that too but I never could manage it by myself. Coming here made a huge difference for me

If you're interested in a recovery group, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D

PAINLESS66

You gotta want to be clean more then anything you ever wanted i your life... If you own an alcohol related business your screwed... Sorry bro... Just giving my opinion... How can u stop drinking if your around it... People places and things... U gotta detox and get on antibuse (sp)? A drug that makes u violently sick if you use just like a drug im taking to block any and all opiates... Mine blocks for 30 days... If i were so stupid to use id be deathly sick and im not going there ever.... Never ever never.... Detox first then medication to keep u off the drinking... U gotta want this bro... That or death oneday when u go into liver failure just like my 22 year old cousin that died from drinking... Detox detox detox.... Praying for u now...... Seriously just said a prayer for you... God bless...