Recovery growth
Recovery growth
N my previous attempts at sobriety, I was able to put together some "dry" time, but my mind wasn't calm. Then I drank again, and tried to force my mind to be calm. Causing me to feel more like I was living a lie. It got me to an emotional bottom. I wanted to give sobriety another shot but was crippled with fear. 8 days ago I made the choice and completely surrendered. In this time I have relied heavily on my HP and have owned my actions and have not blamed my husband or my kids or my work or my family. I drank to run away, and I happy to say that today, I am present. Emotionally and physically and I feel a sense of peace that I have never experienced before. I feel like recovery is clicking, and I hope I can keep this feeling.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Good for you. It helps so much when we get honest with ourselves about our drinking. It's a major step into a sober lifestyle regarding acceptance of what's happened and what course to take to change ourselves. I found it necessary to work on it on a daily basis with no exceptions as we can so easily slip back into the same old same old. Keep coming.
BE WELL
BE WELL
I couldn't believe the relief I got from the simple( although it took me many years) act of surrendering. but there was more- deciding to rely on my HP to guide and direct me while I put in the footwork to learn how to live life on lifes terms.
one thing I learned on the journey is just how much fear controlled me throughout my life, and what captainamazing posted-Fear is the absence of faith- was detrimental for me to grow.
that didn't mean the absence of fear. I had to use( and still have to use) faith and courage in spite of fear. pretty crazy still how I can run into something where I need that faith and courage, but after I get through it( which really is easier than goin around it) I look back and think to myself:"that really wasn't that bad."
keep it up ontherightpath!
one thing I learned on the journey is just how much fear controlled me throughout my life, and what captainamazing posted-Fear is the absence of faith- was detrimental for me to grow.
that didn't mean the absence of fear. I had to use( and still have to use) faith and courage in spite of fear. pretty crazy still how I can run into something where I need that faith and courage, but after I get through it( which really is easier than goin around it) I look back and think to myself:"that really wasn't that bad."
keep it up ontherightpath!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Thanks for sharing this. All of my life I was taught to believe that faith was certainty and the opposite of faith was doubt. It's only in the past several months that I have been pointed to a new way of understanding fear as the opposite of faith.
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