Cardinals

Hello SR members. I am new to this site and seeking some help/advice because I am or should say have been ready for a long time to stop my drinking. I am a 21 year old male and have realised that I am to young to be going through what I am putting myself through at this moment. Do I consider myself an alcoholic? Do I consider myself a "heavy drinker," or do I consider myself a "functioning alcoholic?"

I won't begin to start with my early life and the troubles that I'd had but rather fast forward to 17. I was a teenager living life, happy. The first time I got drunk I knew that I was hooked. My mind was clear. From that first time being drunk I did the usual getting drunk once a weekend with my friends and having a good time and we all thought everything was fine. Once a weekend turned into friday and saturday. And that continued for a while, sometimes maybe getting drunk on a day off during the week. I never realised what that would turn into.

I was then 19 years old. My drinking habits shifted from the usual 1-2 nights a week of getting wasted to binges. My stepmom owned a bar at once and it closed down so all of the liquor from the bar landed in our garage. I began stealing bottles of it during the day time and hid them in my closet. I had a job and at night would come home while everyone was asleep, close my self into my room and begin drinking. It was ALWAYS hard liquor. I'd mix it with whatever there was pleasant to drink in the fridge. I'd probably drink 2 fifths of hard liquor through 3 nights. Example, I'd drink friday, saturday, sunday and then not drink monday and tuesday. Then probably wednesday and thursday at a buddies house get completely wasted. Take a day or two off again then start again. I began to notice after those 2 or 3 night binges the next night I would be shaky. I had almost a sense of wanting to crawl out of my skin. I'd wake up gasping for air, nightmares, and would only average probably 4 hours of sleep. I never really thought much of it until one night I had a full on panic attack after a 3 day binge. So I looked up panic attack after drinking, and found out about alcohol withdrawal. I spent the rest of the night pacing in my bedroom fearing I'd die from a seizure or something (I mean no disrespect towards anyone who has gone through withdrawal seizures, I was just scared). The next day after the panic filled night I talked to my parents and broke down and told them what was going on. I brought out my 1.75L bottle of vodka i had hidden in my room and explained what was going on.


After a wonderful and humbling conversation with them, I didn't drink for 2 weeks. I felt great. I thought hey you know I have not drank for 2 weeks and ts the weekend so IM going to get drunk tonight.....................DOWNHILL FROM HERE.

Im 21 now, will be 22 in June. A year ago from today I have gotten drunk every single night. I discovered Steel Reserve a type of malt liquor (8.1abv) and drank that from april 2013 til about october 2013. I then discovered a drink called Four lokos (12% abv) and I drank two of those plus 2-3 beers a night for a couple of months. I then and NOW have started to completely lose it. I have introduced myself to vodka. Its gotten to the point now where I am easily drinking an equivalent to the fifth of vodka or more a night. Everyday I wake up after about 4 hours my hands start shaking, and I feel like ****. I can go nights without drinking dont get me wrong, but I honestly am scared at this point. My drinking is ruining my life at this point. I still have a job which i am grateful for and anyone that I spoke to would never know I had a drinking problem, which unfortunately I do. I have pretty bad anxiety/ocd, but I really don't know why I drink other than I love the feeling alcohol gives me, it makes me be someone I am not sober, and the sober version of me is 100 times better. I want to stop drinking, and would love any advice and support. Thank you for taking the time to read this. God bless you.

DisplacedGRITS

I just want you to know that i'm at the All California Young People in Alcoholics Conference (ACYPAA) right now. Something that was said tonight by one of our main speakers is that if anyone tells you you are too young to be an alcoholic...EFF THEM! There are people here who sobered up in their teens. There's an amazing amount of joy here.

I don't have a problem with alcohol. I have a problem with life. With living sober. Alcohol was my answer. It kept me sane. It worked until it stopped working. After that, alcohol helped me cope with life but it took a great toll on me. With the help of this amazing fellowship, i am learning to cope with life in other ways. You take away my alcohol and don't give me something else to get me through and i'll go crazy. I'd probably start looking at suicide. But i'm getting a new solution here and i like it. Perhaps you could look into a young people's meeting?

Cardinals

thanks for the quick response displaced, I just moved to a new area so I'll for sure look into some support groups, just don't know I'f I can do it yet, the urge to drink is always there.

not2late

I am much older than you but your story then sounds much like mine. I started a beer every night after work. Then progressed to mikes hard lemonade then to locos then to mini bottles and then to 1.75 bottles. I hate what it has done to me. I panic when I think I can't get it. I'm living a lie. It's always "tomorrow ". If I don't do something I'll run out of tomorrows. These folks here are great. Read and post often. Take care.

Cardinals

Thanks peaches, I can really relate to what you say. It's kind of disheartening seeing my post has 50 views but only 2 responses, people on this site like to look but not help?

IOAA2

Age as stated above has nothing to do with being alcoholic or drinking in a unhealthy manner. I'd be very grateful to recognize my problem at your age and do something about it.
"just don't know I'f I can do it yet," is procrastination and many of us kept putting it off for far too long and suffered by it. Alcohol is not a health food drink and damages many organs seriously.
At your age knowing what I do now I'd stop drinking. Perhaps a detox and or a rehab would fit your circumstance, an honest visit to you doctor would certainly do harm.

BE WELL

huntingtontx

cardinals, I am glad you found us. I know if you want to get sober you can and you will find plenty of support here. As far as a lot of people reading and not responding, well, sometimes you read and don't know what to say. People respond if they think they can help. Sometimes they just read and pray. I have done that. We all want you to make it. You are very wise to realize you have a problem at such a young age. I wish you well on your journey and am here for you.

sugarbear1

look up Urge Surfing and ride those drinking urges!

You can stay stopped!!