letitgo

Well I have been battling with Alcohol abuse for about 15 years. I drink like 3-10 beers depending on the night. So bad I can not take care of myself/blackout/throw up and/or all of the above. Having a another child in a few weeks. I got really hammered on Weds night and threw up everywhere. Not a good role model for my first child. Been dealing with heavy stress with a child with special needs, work, and a pregnant wife. Plus we have had a ton of extra expenses with things breaking or going wrong.I work a ton and travel a lot. I think I have hit my proverbial bottom. I make excuses and mask my feelings with alcohol. I am too old for this behavior and will lose my wife, child , job and home if I do not give up this terrible habit and viscous cycle. I have a really bad anxiety disorder. Am a smoker also. I need to quite smoking also but in due time.
I am going out to play cards tomorrow. I want to continue to abstain without telling people about my problem. It is already probably evident to them I have a problem. What are some good excuses to use if you don't want to tell someone you have a problem with alcohol? Cutting calories, trying to lose wait ect..??
I would also like to seek help by a therapist to talk out my feelings. I have not been able to locate one that does therapy via phone sessions. Wondering if anyone knows a contact. I have been sober for 2 days and appreciate any thoughts, opinions and assistance any of you can provide.

LBrain

welcome letitgo,
If you have played cards with this group in the past then they know you eh? Just tell them you're quitting drinking. You have plenty of legitimate reasons for doing so. No need to get all dramatic about it. It's nobody's business but yours. YOU NEED TO BE SOBER FOR YOUR FAMILY RIGHT NOW. And always for that matter. Think of spending the rest of your life as a sober father to a new baby. What more joy could you ask for? good luck

Dee74

Welcome letitgo

I may not have much you want to hear, but at least I'm honest

I may be wrong, but I'm not sure you'll find many therapists who deal with patients by phone, or email...face to face contact is usually important.

As for excuses - it's your first few days...maybe going out tomorrow to play cards with your buddies, where you feel you'll need an excuse for not drinking, is a little ambitious right now?

D

Adnamaeel

I would just say no thanks. I'm not a drinker, and no one has ever looked at me funny for declining a drink.

EndGameNYC

Hi, letitgo.

I'd be very wary of any therapist who offers phone sessions right off the bat. It's common practice when we have patients we've been working with for some time, when the patient is away or otherwise unavailable. There are also extreme cases in which phone sessions are preferable to no sessions, but that's why they're called "extreme." Making the time and effort to be involved in therapy is part of the healing process.

I think a good way to avoid talking about your problems with alcohol with your poker buddies is not to go. Try an AA meeting or some other form of non-drinking activity. You've already stated that you have a lot on the line and much to lose. The more you hesitate to get the help you need, the worse your problems will become. And that's a guarantee.

letitgo

Well I had fun playing cards and won a little bit of money. No one questioned my drinking or not. I was just happy to not come home stumbling. Waking everyone up at 1am. Having the conversation with my 4 year old asking her mother what's wrong with daddy? Why is he acting weird? I was happy to just be sober, relax and have a nice evening. Been reading the AA chapters and its just like when I quit smoking. The little voice says to have one and your back to 12 beers in not. I am going to stay sober. I have so many people and too much riding to head down that road again. Thanks for the advice and the support.

MIRecovery

Very very few of us got sober on our own. Should the will power falter you may wish to seek out external support.

gaffo

I let you do the math because it's a good way to surf through an urge but quitting smoking and drinking will save you thousands and thousands of dollars. I quit drinking almost three years ago and it saved me enough $$$ to buy a nice truck. I've been building and racing cars for years on my smoking money. It really adds up.

Discovery14

Way to go letitgo. Keep working at sobriety.

LooseGrip

I feel your stress regarding things breaking and the expense. Ive been going thru that too. You said that you have a really bad anxiety disorder. Have you been treated? Do you take medication? First thing to do is to go to your doctor/psychiatrist and tell him/her that you have been self medicating. Drinking Alcohol is like pouring fuel on the fire of mental illness. It increases anxiety and depression so that's not working for you. 2nd is don't go play cards. If you really want to quit drinking, don't put yourself in that situation right now. 3rd is find an AA meeting and tell someone what you are going thru. 4th is find time away from your stressors and do something healthy for yourself.