GF Dumped me last night, Today is day 1 4/4/14
 

So while my girlfriend was away for a month I decided to reduce my drinking by a lot. I kept a log and I only drank once every 3-4 days in March. Each time I drank though, I drank until I passed out. GF doesn't live with me and has no clue about my drinking problem. Never really needed to tell her. Anyway, I was at work, and I had this feeling that something bad was going to happen. So I went home and I started drinking. Within an hr she messaged me and started the breakup conversations. It was a long battle and I was drunk for most of it... so I don't remember most of it... thank goodness for that.

So today I'm single. I'm ready to quit drinking and smoking as well.


If any of you are curious to know why she broke up with me, it was because her family would never accept be because of my race. Which really sucks because I wish I had done something to deserve it the break up. It would be easier to digest. Anyway, I'm feeling very alone tonight...

Sorry for your tough times, but I like the response of going sober!

:scoregood

I am sorry to hear about your break-up, Serper. Glad you found SR to help you get sober.

:welcome to the SR family Serper.
I am so sorry that you got dumped especially because of your race but if she did not have the fortitude to tell her racist family to go boing themselves she would never have been able to live with an active alcoholic. Being an alcoholic's partner takes a lot of love and courage and is very difficult even heartbreaking.
Anyway, you found a good supportive place here, join the class of April so you can get the support of your peers and also I hope you will join us at the 24 hours club where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours. Before you know it, those days add up http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-welcome.html
Also it is a good idea to formulate a plan for your recovery. I go to AA among other thing. Check the forum and see what others are doing and what you'd like to try.

Sorry you got dumped BUT...

now you are motivated to quit AND, later on when in a healthier spot, find someone who doesn't have a racist family or is strong enough to tell them where to go with their bigotry.

Serper, whether or not you think it now, she did you a favor, you deserve better.
You can begin anew again. Focus on sobriety and yourself for now.
Good luck, welcome aboard.

She didn't do me any favors by dating me this long if she was never going to stand up to her parents. 2nd time an indian girl has done this to me, sucks.

Maybe not a direct favor. Yeah, stringing you along for a bit... But you found out her weakness. And that is that she could not stand up for herself or for you.
I can tell you've been hurt. How would you like to come home from sea early to surprise your fiance. Then when you open the door to the apartment she is on the couch with some other guy. I know what it's like to be hurt. I flew from Japan to San Francisco excited to see her. But not like that! Bam!

Most of us get hurt at least once (if not more) in our lives. It doesn't make you feel any better knowing this. But in time you'll look back and be thankful. Trust me.
The most important thing is keeping a promise to yourself that you want to be sober. This forum is a good place to get the kind of help you need in that area. Just ask away. I'm new here but I do know that many have years of experience. Stick around my friend.

I'm sorry about your breakup but I'm glad you're back here to try again.

D

Thanks for the nice reply. Wow that really sucks man. It's these types of life crises that (and I know people on here will disagree) that I think it's ok to drink. Maybe I'll feel different when I have 90 days clean, but I'm am happy that I was drunk when she broke up with me.... I didn't have to feel the pain right away... and we just had a nice respectful conversation basically closing up loose ends. I don't think I could have had that conversation that night, even if I had been sober. So yeah despite my drinking being really bad in the past... It hasn't been worse than your average college student over the past 4-5 months. I may be an alcoholic, I may not be one. I was one at one time fore sure. But it's been 36 hours without a drink and I'm having 0 withdrawal symptoms. So here is to day number 2! Not that much of a celebration yet, but the real celebration will be at day's 10 and 30, because I haven't gone that long without a drink in years. I'm looking fwd to those days.

If you were keeping a log of drinks, and you were drinking until you "passed out"...That sounds a lot like most of us here.

People who drink normally don't keep a log, and they don't join a sobriety website.

I'm glad you're here. This is a great place to figure all this out.

That's a valid point. I do need to figure things out, and this is the right time and medium to do so. Thanks for your reply

I used to use wooden matchsticks to count the number of shots I had...you know, so I wouldn't have more than, say, eight ounces a day.

Eight ounces??!! When did I begin to think eight ounces was an acceptable amount?

Then I would forget if I had put my matchstick down or not...so really that didn't work that well.

Then I would try to make a fifth last three days. Usually two was the max.

Then I would forget if it was day two or three, or one. . .
I tried keeping track in OneNote on the computer. Can't keep track once loaded.

Yeah. Then it was more and more difficult to get any kind of buzz unless I started with four ounces.

Then I could not keep that buzz going. Then I couldn't sleep.


Logs work really well.

sucks about your girlfriend....

but congratulations on stepping out into the light of life and choosing sobriety.

stick with it.... it will lead you good places, and you'll find yourself with someone far more right for you on that path.

:ring

Thanks for all the support. I cannot describe how good it felt to wake up this morning and feel great and think to myself "I didn't drink last night!! OMG no wonder I feel so great"

-Serper

Time changes a lot of things...especially when we fill it with positives. I've had my share of rough breakups and found that 1. Drinking does not help (that's an absolute) 2. Going through the motions of positive self talk, even if I don't believe it at the time, eventually gets me to a better place.

My 0.02

Great to here you doing well Serper.