I want to drink
 

I'm a little over a month into sobriety and thought I was past this, but this is the 3rd day in a row I want to drink. What's worse - I don't just want to drink - I want to get drunk. There's a bottle of vodka in the freezer that isn't mine to throw out, and it seems like not a really big deal to just go for it. I feel really weak right now, and this is the first time I don't know if I'll ride this one out successfully.

I don't really know what to do right now, so I'm going to try to just remember all the reasons I quit in the first place, how sick and tired I felt before I quit, how much work I've put into this and how I'm just now starting to sleep after a month of insomnia from quitting.

Wow this is tough - I guess this is when my real commitment to sobriety is going to need to shine.

My last drink was last Saturday so I am just coming up to a week without a drink. I want to get drunk to but I'm not going to do it. Think how much better you will feel in the morning and all day tomorrow if you don't drink. If you get over this hurdle, the next hurdle will be easier to get over. The craving for alcohol is only temporary. We can get through the night!

Thanks Mainza - posting helped me out, and I feel like I've stepped out of a crisis zone and will be okay. I'm going to hang out here on the forum for a little while until I'm certain it's going to turn out okay.

Tell me one positive thing that will come out of getting drunk?

Just saying, I had an urge earlier today and it's what I asked myself. The Thread is "conversation with the beer fridge" if you are interested in the outcome.

Don't give in, soooooo not worth it. Back to square 1, detox, withdrawal.

You can do this

Hey Lance! My sober buddy!

You've come a long way.

What has happened that you feel like you want to get drunk?

That is probably a good idea Lance! Thanks for sticking around. This isn't easy but it is simple. Do not take 1 drink of alcohol. I don't know about you but I've tried moderation in the past and it just doesn't work for me. I fantasize about having 1-2 beers and I end up having 10, blacking out, and waking up feeling miserable, anxious, and worried about making a fool of myself. I'm too smart and mature for alcoholic behavior and it is time to move on with my life.

I've pushed this back too far. I joined this site in 2011. 2011! If I would have kept my committment I would be over 2 years sober by now. But I can't beat myself up over that so I am moving forward and focusing on my life right now. It's been awhile since I've done something good for myself and today is a day that I am saying NO! I will not take any alcohol.

It is normal to get these feelings early in sobriety,they will pass and it will make you stronger.Give in to them and it gets harder and harder to put the drink down.

You are doing fantastic,keep going.

don't do it....

It'll only be a reminder of how lousy you feel when you cave to that craving.

Can you get to the gym? Go for a walk? Hit a meeting?

If not, well just keep on posting here and get through it.

:ring

Hi Aarryckha - it's something about this spring weather and especially on a Friday afternoon after a week at work with the whole weekend stretching ahead. Come to think of it I've also had a higher stress level at work the last week, so I think that might be feeding into it because I always used to use alcohol to medicate work stress.

I would suggest reading through your post history to remember why you are quitting in the first place like you said, alcohol must have had some bad consequences to your life if you told yourself enough is enough..Your problem you have with alcohol wasn't just an illusion that will have dissipated into thin air once you took a month break from it. You are a month in that is something to be PROUD of! this craving will pass, win this battle and work towards winning the war and what a glorious accomplishment that will be.


I just looked at one of your posts from today. (Sorry I'm not a stalker or something):

"I came out to both myself and publicly on this forum as an alcoholic a few days after quitting drinking. The label is kind of meaningless to me now, but at that time it was an emotionally charged, humbling necessary step for me to accept that I had a serious problem and was in over my head. I no longer think of myself as an alcoholic, but at the same time I self-identify as an alcoholic with other people who are also on the path to sobriety because I find it gives a shared context around the big picture of alcohol addiction, recovery and sobriety. "

I think that is a dangerous way of thinking in my opinion, don't let your ego get the best of you. Everyone has their weaknesses and their battles! EVERYONE, it's nothing to be ashamed of. A normal person that drinks occasionally socially doesn't sit and obsessively think about the bottle of vodka in the freezer. Which by the way, do you think the owner of the bottle would rather have it dumped, or chugged by a person struggling with sobriety? I'd like to think it'd be the first option.

The month mark was always hard for me too. Yes, please try to remember all the reasons you quit and how much better you'll feel in the morning for not drinking. In about 40 minutes, there's a Friday chat where you can get some more support if you feel up to it.

Work through the craving--you can do it!

Hey, if it's nice outside, do like FreeOwl said. Go for a walk.

Take advantage of the nice weather.

You know where you will end up if you take that first drink.

You can do it!

First run through HALT. Are you hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? Yesterday when I wanted to drink I was three of four.

Next, do you have anyone you can call? Preferably someone in recovery or a sponsor, but even someone to just shoot the breeze...

Keep playing the tape to the end. Remember all the negative feelings and actions that made you decide to stop drinking. As yourself what you will gain by drinking.

I find myself getting very frustrated when I want a drink because I expect to be past that by now, but that only makes things worse. I have to remember that I'm still in sobriety infancy and that it's ok to feel pissed, angry, annoyed when I want to drink but I don't have to act on it.

I hope some of this helps. Keep posting here!

Thanks Ophelia - I've never done a chat before - I just click the chat room link around the top of the hour?

Okay guys - I'm going to take the suggestion to go for a walk. By the time I can log into Friday's chat someone will be home that will hold me accountable in person, so I'll back for that. Thanks for all the support - it means a lot.

Yep and once you are in chat, click on Meeting Room.

Lance40, over a month sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations. I of course do not like what you are going through but it helps me remember just hard it was to get to a month. It has taken me a long time to be comfortable in sobriety and I play the tape all the way through often to not forget how bad it was as a drunk. Rootin for ya. :egypt:

I'm back - went to the grocery store and bought cookies, a cake, and chips & Mexican cheese dip! Ate cookies on the way home and now starting on the chips & dip. Maybe I was just hungry or something because the craving is gone. I feel kind of foolish but thanks for all the support. It was really helpful.

LOL--my favourite go-to method for nipping a craving--EAT!! (I had some chips and dip last night…mmmmm!)

Glad you're feeling better! :)

Good deal, Lance.

Now, pass me a piece of cake!