Lately those posts...
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Lately those posts...
Hey! First off, let me say I should have said last Tues was my 8 week anniversary, not two months. Even though two months equals 8 weeks, and 8 weeks equals two months.........
Sometimes I think we post (I do) not really knowing what response we (I) am looking for. I have seen some confusing posts (like mine) where the poster doesn't get exactly the response they (me) are looking for (because I don't know what I'm looking for). Yea, that. So although I have always been one to have self-confidence (as a retired air traffic controller I'm sure you are glad I had that while I talked to your pilot). But in the addiction arena, I don't have a lot of experience. And even though I rely on those with more experience, sometimes that advice stings. I posted something recently and some of the responses made me cry. Yup me boo hoo. Yup cried for a day. Thought about it, dusted off, determined that shoe did not fit me (as Mr. Hammer told me to determine) and moved forward. I say this to those that feel like they aren't getting what they want. Sometimes you get what you need, and sometimes that shoe doesn't fit...
Sometimes I think we post (I do) not really knowing what response we (I) am looking for. I have seen some confusing posts (like mine) where the poster doesn't get exactly the response they (me) are looking for (because I don't know what I'm looking for). Yea, that. So although I have always been one to have self-confidence (as a retired air traffic controller I'm sure you are glad I had that while I talked to your pilot). But in the addiction arena, I don't have a lot of experience. And even though I rely on those with more experience, sometimes that advice stings. I posted something recently and some of the responses made me cry. Yup me boo hoo. Yup cried for a day. Thought about it, dusted off, determined that shoe did not fit me (as Mr. Hammer told me to determine) and moved forward. I say this to those that feel like they aren't getting what they want. Sometimes you get what you need, and sometimes that shoe doesn't fit...
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I can't remember anything but congratulating you lately Raider but I'm certainly sorry if I made you cry - that certainly was not my intent 
Remember you can always report posts, use the ignore function on someone, or PM me or Anna if you have a problem here
Congratulations again on 8 weeks!
D
Remember you can always report posts, use the ignore function on someone, or PM me or Anna if you have a problem here
Congratulations again on 8 weeks!
D
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Dee it wasn't you. It doesn't matter who it was. The posts had my best interest in mind, this I know. I didn't feel attacked, I was being thin skinned. But it gave me pause, and I think that's important. You never know where your light might shine. Thanks Dee, I appreciate your post.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Aw man, I cry at things people say all the time and I am also in a "BE TOUGH" profession. I think alcoholics are a pretty sensitive bunch (at least when it comes to our own feelings). Sometimes people are legitimately lacking in the tact department, other times it's my perception being wonky.
Good on you that you can be like, "I cried, then processed it and let it go" rather than falling back on anger or isolation. I have a hard time with that, which tends to lead me to self-isolating and feeling like the world wants me out, which makes me angry and sad, and so on. You took control of it by some self-aware venting here, and that's a great thing.
Good on you that you can be like, "I cried, then processed it and let it go" rather than falling back on anger or isolation. I have a hard time with that, which tends to lead me to self-isolating and feeling like the world wants me out, which makes me angry and sad, and so on. You took control of it by some self-aware venting here, and that's a great thing.
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You've come a long, long way Raider. I know you won't let this get you down. We all have our thin skinned moments, but we have each other here to make it through the odd insensitive or ignorant post. I believe in you, and I know you do too deep down where it matters.
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Originally Posted by matt4x4 
Tough love is sometimes needed.
Tough Love only really means something if you have a relationship with the person you've being tough with.
If you don't, it's useless.
It's just more text from someone who doesn't know you, simple random abuse, and you run the risk of being seen as being a bullyIMO.
I think we can all straight talk without wielding the metaphorical baseball bat.
D
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Scott, thank you. Kane -no you have not. Huntington - me too. Matt-yea tough love is fine sometimes and totally honesty always. For me though, I'm careful when I use it for fear of driving others off, I don't lie I just don't post. Tough love is the same way. I can't take tough love unless I have a relationship with the person dishing it out. I do have that relationship with some of the people here.
Haennie
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Haennie
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Hey Raider - I have been tough with you in the past. Usually I find when I am tough its usually about something I see in someone else that I don't want to admit in myself. Therefore, I find tough love is really not about the person at all but about something we are not willing to accept in ourselves.
Lately with you I am just so proud of you and the strides you have made.
With this post, I have to wonder if subconsciously it is a deflection about the trip to Alaska. Sometimes things can upset us or hurt us but they are the manifestation of some other issue. In this case the anxiety about Alaska and your family's lack of acceptance towards Fuzz and by the transitive property the changes you are making?
Maybe its just about a post but I perhaps some food for thought.
Lately with you I am just so proud of you and the strides you have made.
With this post, I have to wonder if subconsciously it is a deflection about the trip to Alaska. Sometimes things can upset us or hurt us but they are the manifestation of some other issue. In this case the anxiety about Alaska and your family's lack of acceptance towards Fuzz and by the transitive property the changes you are making?
Maybe its just about a post but I perhaps some food for thought.
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JDooner, yes you have. But I never felt like it was coming from a place of meanness. I always knew you were trying to help me (even though after some of your posts and PMs....I BE like, ack!!! what is wrong with that man!!!). Thank you. Really.
Yes I am having severe angst about the trip. They are ok with Fuzz, not ok, ok, not, etc. ugh. This is a familiar family dynamic. And really too much drama to post here. But I'll soldier through it. I will be attending AA meetings while I am there.
Thanks all. Love ya' bunches.
Yes I am having severe angst about the trip. They are ok with Fuzz, not ok, ok, not, etc. ugh. This is a familiar family dynamic. And really too much drama to post here. But I'll soldier through it. I will be attending AA meetings while I am there.
Thanks all. Love ya' bunches.
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