when did you start calling yourself an alcoholic?
 

I'm sorry if this is an obvious / stupid / very individual question.

But, at what point did you use the word alcoholic to describe yourself ? I have used that word to describe myself to others as I think it is the simplest way of explaining my relationship with alcohol to people I don't want to discuss it with, but I still somehow feel like I don't really "qualify" as an alcoholic. I don't know if this is the denial part of me talking, or if really I am "just" a problem drinker, a binge drinker, (or are these all the same thing?) which one day will evolve in to a fully blown alcoholic.

I have never been physically addicted to alcohol. I can go for a week or so without drinking and be pretty ok if I avoid others drinking (3 weeks is when I start tearing my hair out and thinking about it all the time). I never drank in the morning. But then on the flip side, I binge heavily, I use alcohol to deal with my issues, to talk to people, to have sex, to cry. I have nearly killed myself multiple times through alcohol, getting in cars with drunk strangers/friends, have ruined relationships with it. I began triggering nosebleeds just by sitting up in the morning whilst on binges, so it's obviously messing my body up.

I just don't know wether I will be able to come to terms with this word the longer I stay sober (8 days in!!) or if I am just jibbering because it's in my head.

I don't think a lot of that makes sense at all reading it back. I hope it does and is not perceived as being ignorant.

Achieve some long term sobriety first, then worry about coming to terms with what to call yourself. I think you'll find with long term sobriety, it matters less.

As to what you are or what you call yourself...If you can't quit drinking, despite your desire to do so. It's a problem. If drinking causes you problems, it's a problem.

Not sure it matters what you call the problem, the solution is the same.

Sobriety.

My max. period of sobriety was 50 days in 11 years of drinking. the past 5 or 6 I have known it's been a big problem. I guess it doesn't matter really I just feel like - should I go to AA, are my problems lesser than others? do I deserve their help, that title?

thank you for the good advice.

The only requirement for AA is the desire to quit drinking. If you go to a meeting, listen for the similarities...don't focus on the differences or the gulf between your drinking and someone else's. Listen to the struggles they have to get and stay sober. Your struggles.

The Big Book of AA is available online. Read it. Read it twice. As with the meeting, look for the similarities, not the differences.

Good luck.

When it finally dawned on me that I REALLY couldn't stop at one or two drinks - that moderation was beyond me.

I recognised myself as an alcoholic somewhere between my failures to sustain a quit and my whacked out suicidal ideations of drinking myself to certain death to end my insufferable life of deep despair, loneliness, and uselessness as a human being.

Yeah.

I wasn't at all surprised when I finally quit for the last time that I was earlier correct about being an active alcoholic after sharing recovery fellowship with other recovering and recovered alcoholics. I was though totally surprised and completely blown away on what real meaning being a recovered alcoholic drug addict has proven out to be in my everyday life since quitting so many years ago. I'm still learning, still growing, still finding more opportunities to realise the potentials of my recovered life.

I was never a daily drinker. Never physically addicted. I could go weeks and months without a drink if I had to. Never drank in the morning.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. My binges began to get longer and the consequences worse. The worst part was how it made me feel. I hated myself. I was disgusted. Ashamed. Embarrassed.

So, you can let it get worse if you like, because it likely will. You're on the down elevator and you can choose to get off anytime.

I'm a binge drinking alcoholic and I got sober using AA. So far, it's helped me stay sober for over 5 years.

So, do you qualify? What do you think?

I think the first time I cleaned out all the empty bottles I was stashing.
Said to myself "man,you have a serious problem,Bob".
Anybody that's a closet drinker can probably relate.

Joked about it from the very start until the fun in drinking stopped

Personally I've never described myself to others as an alcoholic, when I'm with people it's simply "I'm not drinking today"!! It keeps life hassle free, however in private in my own head I know the reality.

Also I tend not to focus on the definition of an alcoholic, because as you did in your post you rationaled the problem away, "well if I don't drink in the morning and can go a week without maybe there's no problem", I was the same, never missed a day at work, never drank in the morning, never lost my license.

But you and I both know drinking leads to big problems in our lives, and so whatever we choose to call it, something still needed to change.

Seven months into sobriety, I STILL haven't told my friends and family that I am an alcoholic - I have told only you nice people here at SR. But when I first FIGURED OUT that I am alcoholic is a few days into my sobriety, after reading so many of the posts here. I finally said to myself, "Hey, that is me". The realization, and acceptance, that I am an alcoholic is humbling, but it is also a big relief in a way. Knowing and accepting what the problem is has made dealing with it a lot less difficult.

Good luck, bonesofhope. I am glad you are here with us.

I came out to both myself and publicly on this forum as an alcoholic a few days after quitting drinking. The label is kind of meaningless to me now, but at that time it was an emotionally charged, humbling necessary step for me to accept that I had a serious problem and was in over my head. I no longer think of myself as an alcoholic, but at the same time I self-identify as an alcoholic with other people who are also on the path to sobriety because I find it gives a shared context around the big picture of alcohol addiction, recovery and sobriety.

I like this advice. :-)

Words are important yet don't totally define you. I'm a Belgian, yet that doesn't define my whole being. (Although for some it might! ;) )

Alcoholic is a word that to me defines a person who started to have a problem with using alcohol at one point in his or her life.

Incidentally, I was the first person to use that word in relation to myself. Mostly to vocalize, to make it absolutely clear, that I had a serious problem with the stuff.

But more importantly, it kicked my butt in gear. I needed to tackle the problem.

Complete abstinence was the only way out for me, and I really don't mind calling myself an alcoholic.

when did you start calling yourself an alcoholic?

At about the 15th time in the drunk tank I had a slighting suspicion, but it was in the penitentiary when I had a very very long time to look at myself, my past and my actions that I knew. All the hurt that I caused, all the carnage.

I was the exact same way. Spoken perfectly..

Kinda what like the captain said. I always knew I was alcoholic. My wife has been telling me for a few years now. I finally called myself an alcoholic when I spoke at my first meeting. The first few times it was anguish to say it. Now I say it with pride.

Knowing it and accepting it are two different things. I knew all along. But I finally accepted it. That's when I started calling MYSELF an alcoholic.

Bonesofhope, perhaps it's time to change your name to 'bonesofacceptance.' Maybe?

8-11-90, my first full sober day in a
28day rehab stay being taught about
my alcoholism and its affects on my
mind, body, soul and those around
me. Important knowledge I would
learn, absorb, and apply to my daily
life for a many one days at a time
alcohol free.

This alcoholic is very grateful in recovery. :)

I've been an alcoholic for a long time, but was also in major denial - I had no clue that I was.

The realization came when I could no longer moderate even a little bit and when I started drinking earlier in the morning just to stop the shakes. I knew that wasn't normal!