Holli

I wonder if it is easier for men than women? As in, more stigma for women...we are the gender that secretly drinks crazy amounts of wine at home in the evenings. Or at least a big chunk of us do that.

Holli

What Nancy Drew would call a clue! :-)

GracieLou

I never hid mine, ever.

I drank in bars and at home. I had my 1/2 gallon of whisky in the fridge next to the milk. The only time I drank wine was when I was trying to convince myself if I drank something else I could control how drunk I got, it did not work. I drank shots on the side with the wine, go figure.

For the first 10 years I didn't call myself an alcoholic other that in fun. I was just about like everybody else I knew, we all went to the bar and we all drank.

Then at about 15 years in I said I drank to much and I could stop if I wanted, I just didn't want to.

Then at about 20 years I called myself a functioning alcoholic, what a crock!

Then at 25 years I was just a full blown alcoholic drunk sitting in an AA meeting.

The fact was I have always been an alcoholic because of the way I drank and the craving to have more and more and more as soon as I drank. I was a daily drinker so I think sometimes it is harder to admit the craving because you drink everyday unlike the binge drinker that feels the crave after a period of time.

It was not until about year 10 that I realized how much I craved it at work and while I was shopping or really anytime I could not drink. If I could not drink, I thought about it and I wanted to.

AA is for anyone that has a desire to stop drinking. If you drink and you don't stop once you start, you can take pretty good bet that you qualify but that is for you to decide.

GreenEggsAndHam

LOL Had to practically hit me over the head with it!

I'm definitely one of those who always said I drink because I want to. It's when I wanted to stop drinking but was compelled to drink anyway that I knew I was in trouble.

I was what people would consider a functioning alcoholic (and high-bottom alcoholic) though I don't refer to myself as that normally. An alcoholic is an alcoholic IMO. It just all depends on when we decide we are done.

Holli

GracieLou, we are a proud and diverse gender. :-)

I used the term functional alcoholic when I joined, and now I also realize what a crock that was!

GracieLou

I heard once on this very board "A sewer line is functional, it is still full of $hit". LOL

cusper

I used to jokingly call myself an alcoholic in front of others. However when I quit I told people almost immediately that I wasn't drinking because I was unable to stop once I started. Surprisingly most people seem fine with that. I felt like if I dealt with it right away there would be no confusion in the future. That somehow if I fell off the wagon my true friends might hold me in check. Also I know that my good friends already knew that I was an alcoholic because I was ALWAYS the drunkest person at the party.

Taproot

I've been dancing around the A-word for a while now. Today is day 15 of no alcohol for me. About day 2 of tentatively calling myself an alcoholic. Alcoholic is such a broad term, and all of us here at SR have distinct individual stories. Oddly enough, I've been more comfortable with the phrases "I have a drinking problem," or "My behavior demonstrates a pattern of problem drinking."

I read the book, "Drinking: A Love Story" a month or two ago, and I believe there was a line in there to the effect, "People who don't have drinking problems don't lay in bed at night wondering if they have a drinking problem." That seemed like a workable definition for me...

Kaneda8888

Actually, I had no problem calling myself an alcoholic. I imagined I was a 'unique' alcoholic until I went into the Aa rooms and read the Big Book. It was then I surrendered all my denials as I came to the realization that I was a plain vanilla alcoholic

nigey1

I always suspected it. But it was easy to dismiss, most my friends were worse than me and I deal with alcoholics and worse most days at work.

Confirmation came after a year sober. When it smacked me in the face that there are normal people who do actually drink just a few in one sitting or even not drink on some occassions. I kid you not.

Of course I couldn't see it because it was all about me and my drinking.

I am embarrassed at my last 20 years of drinking and am left with only one conclusion, I really am an alcoholic.

ontherightpath

About 5 years ago. Didn't do anything actively about it til about 1.5 years ago. Been in and out of recovery since then. On day 7 and going strong!!!! Sobriety is serene.

DoubleBarrel

1996.


I quit in 2012.

Ilya

I think I started using the word, in my mind, when I was 16. I knew what I was. Now, I am having a hard time saying it, maybe because I don't want it to be a part of me anymore.
I've only just begun to try to get a handle on it.

bigsombrero

Same here. When I started drinking in the mornings with one sole purpose, I knew there was a serious addiction. I didn't allow myself to even ponder the "A-word", as I was in such denial that I could not face it.

I believe I first called myself an alcoholic when I introduced myself to my rehab group at inpatient treatment. But I was an alcoholic long before I called myself one. I just needed all the wheels to come off before I said it out loud.

GunnyL

No offense, but when I started sounding like you. I remember well saying a lot of what you are. Calling myself everything but one.

What I was told was to call myself whatever I liked and keep coming to the meetings. Time and addiction took care of the rest.

1newcreation

I believe it was @ very 1st mtg coz heard myself in the voices that shared. Identify instead of comparing coz no matter the age or gender of folks in the rooms, there is someone you can see yourself in

yeahgr8

About 10 years before getting sober. I knew that an alcoholic couldn't control their drinking in frequency or quantity. I could never stop drinking once started or stick to a plan of action for the night and be happy about it. I also knew that it didn't matter how much a person drank it just had to be more than they wanted, this behaviour was repeated by me again and again.

No none has to use the term alcoholic, you can use drunk, p*sshead etc. as long as we are not in self denial no biggie:-)

MythOfSisyphus

Well, I don't call or consider myself "an alcoholic". AVRT discourages labeling things like that I have come to agree; it's counterproductive and doesn't really say anything. I have known for a long time that I have very poor self control once I start drinking. Guess I knew that for at least 10-15 years but it didn't affect my drinking or sincerely make me want to stop. But about a year and a half ago I had this striking moment of lucidity: I knew with crystal clarity that if I didn't stop drink I was going to die, probably within the next few years.

Thepatman

When my doctor said I would end up with a heart attack if I kept going and did for kept going for years. When you know you will die from this and keep going, RED FLAG! LOL!

GunnyL

Different approach. What's in a label? "Alcoholic" as both verb and noun pretty-much describes what I do and who I am. People put a stigma on the word. The definition does not.

And I remember well sitting in an AA meeting going thropugh the same spiel while a group of alcoholics just watched and listened. I was willing to be called anything BUT an alcoholic. I wasn't one of those weak people. I'm a retired Marine by God.

For some reason, the following weekend I decided to have one drink. Just one. About four days after that when I came back to Earth I had a clue.

I was embarrassed. That's putting the names I waqs calling myself mildly. But I went back anyway. I wanted the help more than I cared about a label and/or my pride.