Charliee

I have been feeling out of touch with myself lately, really weird. I am not sure what's going on. Am I on the verge of a relapse or what? I feel very disconnected and distant from my family and loved ones. Everything has been going great with the new job and with my family, so I am not sure what's causing this. Anyone else feel this way?

Dee74

I'm not sure either charlie - do you mean isolated from people or do you mean a psychological kind of disassociation - a sense of not being in touch with anything, including your 'self' and your thoughts?

D

teetotalitarian

Do you mean you're distrustful of serene circumstances and want to shake things up to return to a more comfortable baseline of abject chaos?

If so, then yes, I have that too.

Peace makes me nervous as much as I want it because I am afraid other people will take it from me if I don't take it away from myself first. (Probably thanks to growing up with alcoholic parents.)

DoubleBarrel

I think it understand what you mean. In some ways, even at a year of sobriety, I felt like an observer. Part of it was realizing how much everyone just did things around me while I drank, and they carried on the same way after I got sober. I really had to make an effort to get involved with everyone.

Another part of it was a bit of depression, I think. Certainly the long winter doesn't help.

AG2013

Ive been feeling exactly that way lately. It feels like I dont fit in as a sober person and I cant fit in as a drinker anymore. Emotionally numb. Im thinking it just takes time to find a new groove.
But yeah it does suck....give your body time to adjust. Whatever you do dont give into the delusion that booze will make things better. You will regret it.

whosthisguy

This is crucial to remember... the moment you feel like alcohol will make a certain negative feeling better, you just get into a downward spiral of craving and wondering 'what if'. I have less than a week but I had to remind myself of that last night... it is delusional to think that alcohol would make us feel less lonely when it really just alienates us more.

Jeni26

Getting sober involves a huge change, especially if we drank for a long time. I suffer with a dissociative disorder and have had depression in the past. I have always felt like an observer and weirdly disconnected from people around me. Over time, I have built up a personality which can interact with others so at least I can get by in the real world...I hold down a job, have friends and family but it feels like a bit of an act. In truth I like being on my own best of all when I can just let myself be.

I've had a great deal of therapy to help with this...and I've learned that I am what I am. I'm not great socially, but that's ok. I do well at my job, so that's good. I love my family and that's good too.

It sounds like things are going well for you...and maybe you just need to find that place where you feel comfortable with yourself. We can't all be social butterflies...that's what I used drink for, and it was false. Learning to accept ourselves for who we are is key.

KateL

I've had that detachment from reality thing which is horrible, but it soon passes xxxxx

Charliee

Teeto, Yes I know I crave chaos! When things are calm it seems like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop

Charliee

Thanks everyone for your responses, I was feeling like I was alone in this. I feel like I am just observing, always on the outside just looking in. Never felt this way before, before the heavy drinking started I always felt like a part of this whole thing. Now I feel very lonely.

FreeFall

I feel exactly the same way. About 90% of my social life revolved around drinking and spending time with friends who I met while drinking. I am very busy with work and taking care of my elderly mom so I now have no social life at all. I can go out to the little pub where my friends are, but I can't stay long. I don't want to give temptation a chance to kick in, and I get bored easily sober. I do feel like an observer and completely out of the loop, whereas before I always fit in and was a central part of the goings on.

I too crave chaos. This calmness feels weird on one hand, yet peaceful and a big relief at the same time. I feel too responsible, boring, and blah. Winter doesn't help.

I'm content without drinking, I just haven't figured out where to find the fun in sobriety.

Mountainmanbob

I have noticed that when I crave chaos

in short time I will have it

then soon back to crying in my beer


watch out what we pray for
because we might get it

MM

toddle118

I suffered terribly from depersonalisation, mine was a form of depression and PTSD, it lasted ages but one day it just cleared on its own. Sometimes I think your brain just wants to take a rest whilst its adjusting to whatever trauma, whether that be alcohol or other negative stimulus. It does pass, but yes it is horrible , try to walk and do things for yourself and take lots of vitamins x

GracieLou

I have felt this way.

I found that when I get to wrapped up in me this happens. I am thinking about my life, my job, my relationship, the future...it messes with my peace and serenity because I looking to far ahead.

I feel like I am in slow motion when in fact I was spinning. That is when I need to get back to the basics....One day at a time.

I had to stop looking for the shoe. Get out of myself cause if I keep looking I will find something that is going to set me off. Stop looking.

This to, shall pass.