JJ1982

Well, I am here again hoping that today was the last day I'll ever get high and drunk at work. I have had too many "last drinks" or "last hits" to count. It has to stop now.The problem is I have tried and failed so many times, I don't know whast to do differently. Every time I say this time is going to be different, but it never is.

What do I need to do to make this time different?

Dee74

What things have you tried JJ?

D

wackybunny

I've been there with last hits. Tried to quit weed so many times that I stopped telling people when I was trying because I didn't even believe I was going to do it. But I did keep trying and now I'm a month off it. Not sure what the magic trick was this time. I think this site really helped. Educated myself as much as I could on what I was going to have to face (withdrawals, emotions etc) and then finally was willing to face it. I posted a lot and it was nice knowing that people were listening and rooting for me. When I was going through misery, I started typing and reading posts instead of running out to get weed.

1newcreation

We are only failures when we stop trying. Got any 12 step programs near that could join?

Treerat66

Hi JJ, welcome to SR

Nonsensical

My addiction loves it when I feel hopeless.

Post and interact so we can make useful suggestions.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

KateL

Welcome JJ xxx

Holli

You can do it, welcome to SR.

Thepatman

You probably tried the regular brake pedal already and it did not work,

Why not try the emergency hand break and seek help? You already made the biggest step, admitting you have a problem and want to stop.

It's like someone in an apartment that would love to have a house.

Make a list of steps that you can take to reach your goal!

You got this

FreeOwl

welcome jj - Dee's question is kind of the place to start.

What should you do differently? Well, what have you tried so far? What hasn't worked? What were the biggest influences in your failures? How can a new plan help offset those pressures?

YOU CAN DO THIS.

JJ1982

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. So far all I have tried is just deciding to quit and then trying to stop, but I always end up changing my mind in the moment. I don't want drugs and alcohol to define who I am, but I don't know what else to try.

Do the 12 steps really work? Sounds last like I should find a meeting and try that next. I also have an old boss at work who has been sober for a decade, I am just worried about trouble at work if I talk to him.

In the mean time, this is day one again and I am already in trouble because I know tomorrow is my good friend's 30th birthday party and it is at a bar. I already know I'm going to end up convincing myself to have just one drink with him, but I hope I won't...

Dee74

I had to make changes to my life JJ. Real changes.
That meant missing a few parties for a while.

Skip the bar tomorrow, and take your mate out some other time and do something non alcohol related, perhaps?

D

JJ1982

Thanks, Dee, you are absolutely right, I should just take him out to lunch or something next week, otherwise I was already telling myself I could just wait until Monday to quit, but I need to get away from that type of thinking. The biggest sacrifice for me though, I am also skipping opening day for the Rockies today (my office is a few blocks from Coors Field) because I didn't get enough done yesterday while being drunk and stoned.

There will be other day games this summer that I can enjoy without beer when I am in a better place. Most of my office will be in the bars by noon pre-gaming...

I appreciate the support, I don't know why I literally could not come up with the idea to do something else for his birthday!

Adnamaeel

JJ1982,
Maybe you could take your friend to lunch instead, even on a different day. Lots of people like to have their birthdays extended by a few days.
The thing about parties is that there's always another one, so missing one, or a few, or taking a break from them altogether doesn't mean you'll have to spend the rest of your life missing out. A good friend will understand and support you making a choice to take care of yourself.

FreeOwl

the steps give you a structure for taking some clear actions that help you make the changes necessary in yourself to see changes in the outcomes of your life.

yes, I think they do work.

Nonsensical

The steps work for many people. Some of us have found other ways. You can check out an AA or NA meeting without committing to the steps. I attend AA meetings from time to time because I find it beneficial to meet face to face with other people who understand what it means to be addicted to alcohol. (But I don't use the steps.)

There is a difference between quitting drinking and living sober. I quit drinking dozens of times. I started living sober once.

Lots of good information on this website about living happily sober. Best of luck to you.