bluncain

I hurt my Friend Helen, who stuck by me. And now I'm better-ish I damaged her without thinking, carelessly 'cause it's all about me, and my recovery.

My AV is screaming, told you so, she's a rich bitch anyway. What does she know.

I listened to Helen cry and I'm ashamed.

resolute50

A simple apology can do wonders between friends.
Friends of alcoholics tend to have thick skin when it comes to getting hurt.

Oh,and tell that ole AV to knock it off! Nothing can make a situation worse between friends that picking up again after a spat.

KateL

Just tell her you are sorry and didn't mean it. Promise her you won't speak to her like that again. I'm sure she'll forgive you over one argument xxxxx

SoberLeigh

An apology straight from the heart should help begin the healing.

bluncain

Hi I apologized, I asked her if we were cool. She said yes, so why am I crying like a fool ?

I'm shaking, I want this to go away. But this isn't delusion, it reality. I have to learn to deal with situations like this or I will run and hide in a bottle forever.

resolute50

You don't have to run and hide in a bottle.
Sounds like you did the right thing and now it's time to learn from it,and then put it behind you.

SoberLeigh

Because you are human; quite often people forgive us before we begin to forgive ourselves.

Jade1224

It seems like everything is okay now?

don't use this as an excuse to drink

KateL

Glad all is well and stop being so hard on yourself. You are a human being not a Saint.xxxx

SoberLeigh

Amen.

bluncain

Thank you all for your advice, it's helped me to get a more rounded view.

Helen was so happy for me on my other attempts at sobriety, and this time too. But issues 'round alcohol - in her family kinda get involved. I think when I stop I think she expects me to be cured.

Except as we know it isn't that simple. I am still the deeply selfish Drunk, without the booze. I need to learn. New ways of being a better me.

Or give up people for ever. Then I would be self isolated, alone, without a bottle. Bit like I was before.

Goldcoastgirl

Why don't you sit down and write to her from the heart like you have here? I think she would really appreciate that and sometimes it is easier to put those feelings down on paper. Could help the healing for you both too x

bluncain

Hello,
Today, a new day, it rained in the night. So the air was fresh and clean of the pollution.

I seen my Guy, therapist who uses multi-disciplines. Tony predates this period of sobriety. He helped clarify the situation, and a way of moving forward in sobriety and building a interesting, productive lifestyle.

Tony asked, how much weight did you loose, I think about 35 lb. I do waist
inches. He pointed out the Helen has battled with her weight all her life.
He asked how does she feel about you're dramatic loss.

She has always insisted I did need to (believe me I was and felt like a slug).

And stopping booze?. Well she didn't think I had a problem. And now regularly suggests I have beaten it. So can drink moderately.

Tony asked, which parts seem healthy?

I wrote to Helen calmly, and said I believe we are both very needy at the moment. A having discussed Tony with her, on email, explained I would like a break.

Should she want a real adult friendship to phone me in September, my favourite month.

Goldcoastgirl

Well done. I hope that this helps you find some peace. I am glad you saw your therapist who sounds like he gives very balanced advice. Have a lovely weekend and be kind to yourself x

Thepatman

You are doing great!! You are speaking out, expressing yourself.

Keep doing that, let your emotions out. If it's negative, go for a walk and explain that to your friend, that instead of saying things coming from your AV that you will just go for a walk.

bluncain

Finally got honest about me and my recovery. Joined facebook and told my truth to life.

Wish me look.

Ben Carrol

My real name is Ciaran.

matt4x4

Saying your sorry does not cut it, means little. Actions speak louder then words. Look, you have to make amends to her, this is not just an AA thing, its a common sense approach. How did you hurt your friend Helen? OK so, I do not know how old you are, but people learn from their mistakes, its time to grow from this and move on, this is what Adults do.

ontherightpath

I can relate to the feelings of shame and guilt of hurting someone I care about. I did it multiple times, most of the time I was wasted. I always likes to pick a fight. I ended up hurting se people that were very near and dear to me. I had to have the courage to make my amends. "Clean up my side of the street" and that's what I did. How they react to that is up to them. My job in life and sobriety is to keep my self in check, to do the right thing, not make sure they "get it". If you haven't made your amends, do so, if you have, then you have done the best you can, and the rest is in someone else's hands.


Getting sober is working for me. If my friends can't grasp it, that's their business. What other people think of me is their business as well. Sobriety and serenity are my business today, the only thing people pleasing dis for me was get me drunk. Beat wishes

GotGrace

You are doing some new, difficult work. Every time you do something difficult without alcohol you build muscle. Cry all you need. You are growing and that is a good thing.

Hugs to you....

sicknote

Hang in there! You'll be ok! Early recovery is TOUGH! Give yourself a break.

It's good you said sorry to Helen.

Once you have dried your eyes, and feeling better. Take action. Now is the time to act. Do something positive to make sure this situation doesn't happen again.

It's a hard rocky road, but worth it.

sicknote