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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4
First time posting
I have used and kicked almost every drug. I still make the stupid choice of picking up a bottle of whiskey, drink to much, and put my loving husband through hours of hell. Wtf is wrong with me!? He is a great husband and father. My life now is better than it ever has been. Why am I focusing on the little crap that bothers me? I'm very disappointed in myself...
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by Igotofar 
I have used and kicked almost every drug. I still make the stupid choice of picking up a bottle of whiskey, drink to much, and put my loving husband through hours of hell. Wtf is wrong with me!? He is a great husband and father. My life now is better than it ever has been. Why am I focusing on the little crap that bothers me? I'm very disappointed in myself...
Hi,
Being disappointed in yourself is a positive sign as at least you know what you have to do, it sometimes takes us too long to realise what has to change, the first bit you have achieved.
Stay strong, sober and healthy.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Welcome! You are in the right place here. You obviously don't want to be/feel like you are now and don't want to lose what you have in life. Time to get to work and heal the situation maybe? Lots of support on this site x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4
I'm going to my first meeting today
I want to thank you all for the warm welcome. It is nice to read your encouraging responses. I'm going to my first meeting today. I believe going will help me. I know I can do this! Last night I was told all the things I did the night before last. It's very upsetting. I'm not a nice drunk. I feel confident in my ability to stop drinking. I'm concerned with my ability to forgive my self. I have acted a fool so many times it's embarrassing. I talked with my husband about going to a meeting last night, he thinks it's not necessary. He told me I can do it on my own. I can, but I still want to go... so I'm going while he is at work. Just an update on what I'm doing. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 335
Originally Posted by Igotofar
I want to thank you all for the warm welcome. It is nice to read your encouraging responses. I'm going to my first meeting today. I believe going will help me. I know I can do this! Last night I was told all the things I did the night before last. It's very upsetting. I'm not a nice drunk. I feel confident in my ability to stop drinking. I'm concerned with my ability to forgive my self. I have acted a fool so many times it's embarrassing. I talked with my husband about going to a meeting last night, he thinks it's not necessary. He told me I can do it on my own. I can, but I still want to go... so I'm going while he is at work. Just an update on what I'm doing.
Good luch on your first meeting and stay in touch on here....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Igotofar
I have used and kicked almost every drug. I still make the stupid choice of picking up a bottle of whiskey, drink to much, and put my loving husband through hours of hell. Wtf is wrong with me!? He is a great husband and father. My life now is better than it ever has been. Why am I focusing on the little crap that bothers me? I'm very disappointed in myself...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4
Hopeful
The meeting I went to yesterday gave me a whole new look at what I'm going through. I used to feel alone in my ways. I heard over and over, from diffrent people, their reasons for picking up a drink. Their "I'll only have one" limit that they inevitability pass and regret. Their self destructive paths. It was like listening to myself! I received a warm welcome, phone numbers, the big book, offers for rides, and lots of encouragement. I'm sure I have chosen to do the right thing and not do this alone. I have stopped drinking for months before, but the 24 hours sober chip I received yesterday means more to me than those months. It's the 24 hours sober after I took action beyond myself. I have a support system now. I am grateful.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4
Reality check
This weekend went well. I didn't realize how often I drank to cope with stress though. Saturday showed me! By 9pm I was ready to take a drink. I breathed through it and found a midnight meeting. I must have smoked a half a pack in those few hours. It was a reality check seeing how bad I wanted to drink over a little stress. This isn't going to be the piece of cake I thought it was going to be, but I made the right choice so I'm proud of myself. I'm thankful that I didn't give in. The way I was feeling, it wouldn't have been pretty!
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by Igotofar
This weekend went well. I didn't realize how often I drank to cope with stress though. Saturday showed me! By 9pm I was ready to take a drink. I breathed through it and found a midnight meeting. I must have smoked a half a pack in those few hours. It was a reality check seeing how bad I wanted to drink over a little stress. This isn't going to be the piece of cake I thought it was going to be, but I made the right choice so I'm proud of myself. I'm thankful that I didn't give in. The way I was feeling, it wouldn't have been pretty!
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