sclermama

This is my first post so if I'm doing it wrong, please correct me. I have a connective tissue disorder that causes chronic pain. I went on pain meds about 5 years ago-first Vic, then oxycodone, finally fentanyl patch. All the while I felt guilty about being on the meds because I could feel how much they were changing me. And as the cycle goes, you have to take more and more to get the same level of relief. I decided to go off my meds in DEc and did the slow taper and finally cold turkey about a week ago. I've been reading about PAWS and am totally freaking out because I can't imagine the panic attacks being worse than they are now. I have three questions and would be so grateful for answers:
1 If I have to go back on pain meds or do take one, have I totally ruined all I just set out to do?
2 How long does it take for your receptors to re-set so that if I did use 1 vicodin it would actually work
3 Is PAWS as awful as it sounds? Will I avoid it my going back on my pain meds? Is there help for it?
I guess that was more than three, but I hope you understand and reply quickly. I'm kind of on edge and surprised I could sit here long enough to type this post.