2muchpain

I am sure it's my ego talking, but I have to admit I expected more responses to my drinking again. There are many people on this forum that are in the same situation I am in and they deserve the same time I expect, I know that. Unfortunately, this site is my only support.

SoberLeigh

Behind you all the way, 2muchpain. Overall, I have found the threads to be quiet the past few days.

suki44883

You got over 30 responses, 2muchpain. How many would it take for you to feel satisfied? Sorry to sound harsh, but it's kind of a slap in the face to those of us who did respond, and to suggest that you are bothering anyone by posting does sound like ego and a pity party.

LBrain

2much, I know you are feeling down. pick yourself back up and begin with a new attitude. It's tough early and sometimes things happen.
I suggest you read the answers to your original post. The last one was today at 11:47. People obviously do care. Sometimes we with big egos think everyone else is just waiting for us to post something so they can respond right away.
Do not forget that many have a full time life outside the forum and also that this is a world forum with many different time zones.
Being impatient and expecting people to immediately respond - I think you may have already answered that yourself.
We are here for you. Do not doubt that for a moment. Hang in there.

ReadyAtLast

Many people are working or alseep or commuting. the threads do get quiet at certain times. you've had quite a few responses to your other thread-maybe look at what people have said and consider their responses rather than feeling sorry for yourself for not getting more responses.People do care-if they didn't they wouldn't be here.

Nonsensical

Other people rarely met my expectations when I was drinking.

They got a lot better when I quit.



All of us against the addiction. Get back in the fight.

GracieLou

I went and read the post I assume you are referring to, I must have missed it when it was originally posted. There was a lot of love, support and advice in the responses.

You even admit yourself there and here that you may be in a pity party. Poor me, pour me a drink.

I have to admit I used to think a lot like you. It seemed I was the one that always handled everything. The house, the bills, the shopping, the laundry, the kids, my mother etc. I used to feel resentful and hurt that I never seemed to get so much as a thank you. When I was sick or just plain down. Every one carried on around me and never seemed to notice the pain I was in.

I can see now that I created a great deal of my own pain. My expectations, even if never verbally expressed were there. I wanted nothing more then for someone, anyone, to come swooping in and take me away from it all.

I have found that the only way to stop that cycle was to stop drinking and work a recovery program. I had to get rid of those resentments, even the ones I said did not have because I can tell you they were there. I did not want to admit them because I felt it made me look bad or that I was a bad mother, daughter or wife.

What I learned was expectations are just premeditated resentments. They pile up over the years and when we get no relief the self pity sneaks in and out comes the bottle again and again and again. The more I drank the more the resentments not only appeared real but justified.

I am not sure what program you are working, if any, but just stopping does not solve anything and it certainly does not help to release the anger and frustration over the resentments. They feel worse and the anger is waiting there to attack.

I had to face them, see my part in them and then let them go. That was the only way I was able to find peace. Now I work daily to make sure I don’t create new ones, that is work let me tell you. It is so very easy to fall back to the old habits and the old way of thinking “what about me?”.

I am not saying that I do not have to take time for me, I do. I also have to stand on my own feet and create boundaries for people but I do not have to resent them for it. I can live without them if I don’t assume they do or don’t do things based on the way “I” think they feel or how “I” think they should react or how “I” would handle it. I just let them be them.

Hevyn

Hi 2muchpain. I missed the thread you referred to also. I just now read it. I'm sorry you feel neglected, but I think you received some helpful & compassionate responses. (You posted how much it meant to you.) A few people even checked in with you today.

I hope you'll continue to lean on the support you have here - there are so many who care and want to help.

toddle118

I read your thread earlier but so many people had replied I had nothing new to add...I dont mean to be horrid but this thread is the sort I would write if I was drinking. You got 30 replies! Yet you are dwelling on the fact you didnt get more....

PurpleKnight

All depends on site traffic, some times it's quiet, and at other times there's plenty of activity!! . . . it's a tough one to call!!

Mags1

I thought about what you said regarding thinking you would go back to drinking. We all can and believe me we've all been where you are .

I'm not very tolerant with myself nowadays, I've had help and aid from my SR Friends who've been here, albeit one or five persons, taking the time to talk to me at 3 or 4 or 1 am in the night about anything, but keeping me on track.

It's not easy, life, but grasp it, choose your path and walk it. We're here to walk with you, carry you sometimes, push you up the steep bits, but you've got to make those legs and feet move, one in front of the other. It,s the only way it will work.

Aellyce

Probably another thing you could evaluate is what can be more useful and meaningful: quantity vs quality. Regarding the responses you are getting on SR and perhaps also regarding your lifestyle choices...

GreenEggsAndHam

Did you get to a meeting today 2muchpain?

KateL

It happens and I, for one, am behind you xxxx

MemphisBlues

I missed your "messed up" post.

The important thing to latch onto here is that you had 43 days. The second thing to grab is that you posted about drinking and you got a ton of responses supporting you to get back on the wagon.

The third thing is to appreciate that drinking is what we do and it takes a lot more than posting on SR to get some significant sober time accumulated to begin working on our lives to keep from ever drinking again.

Many have found that posting before drinking helps, but that belies the nature of this beast. Drinking is what we do.

Keep posting. I haven't followed you other threads to find out if you are going to AA, getting therapy, or doing something else besides posting here.

I needed help desperately and found that gathering with others fighting the same fight with me or who had fought and won and were willing to work with me imperative in achieving sobriety.

Dee74

If SR isn't enough support for you, then maybe it's time you fixed that 2much?

D

tomsteve

a reply YOU made in your other thread:
First of all, I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I've done that before, and it is great having people around me feeling sorry for me, it did no good. I'm definitely done with that. I am responsible for me. If I drink, it's because I chose to.

what about the support from the fellowship of AA?


A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment.

rove27

I do not go on the site everyday, but when I do I look for familiar names and read their posts. I remember you and sorry you went back to drinking. Keep in mind this is a process and I think it is good that you are honest about a relapse. I hope that you can get back to sobriety, we are here for you!

bluncain

I'm sorry mate, I've been real busy, I would have replied.

Hope you're feeling a bit better, it's that step by step, brick by brick. Keep up the good fight.

Luke

teetotalitarian

^This. Meetings are way better for getting real support. This site is a great tool to use in-between meetings, but I personally cannot imagine it as a substitute for them.