I'm tired.
 

Hi everyone,

After having browsed this forum for some time reading some really insightful and wise posts I've decided to create a profile.

I'm a 26 year old guy from Scandinavia. I suffer from GAD (Generalized anxiety disorder - 7 years now going strong) and I've been abusing alcohol and benzodiapines (sedative) for the past few years. I'm currently tapering from diazepam. I was at 100 mg daily, and I'm currently at 7 mg daily, so I've come a long way. Sadly my alcohol intake has escalated. I drink a lot. Either it's 2 bottles of wine or 3/4 of a bottle of vodka every day. I've just had a week sober, now I'm on my 6th day drunk. My closest family is involved and so is my doctor. I had a blood test done a few weeks ago to determine the current health of my liver and the test showed an increase in "'somethingidontremember'" and my doctor advised me not to drink alcohol for a period of time. I'm not anywhere near having a severely damaged liver, but I'm still very concerned. Not only about my liver, but also my health and mental health in general. For the past 2-3 years I've been drinking a lot. Before that I was drinking at parties almost every other weekend.

I'm looking for advice on liver damage. How much can my liver take before it's irreversible?

I appreciate any comment/advice. I don't want to drink anymore, but waking up is hell for me at the moment because of my benzodiazepine tapering, and alcohol is currently my only way out. Normally benzodiazepines are prescribed for alcohol withdrawal, but this time it's the other way around. Very frustrating.

Much love,

Jacob

In regards to my liver; I've been on and off alcohol for months at a time and doing lots of fitness and eating well.

Hey Jacob, Alcohol is not your only way out, if I had of followed that advice, I would be dead by now!!

Rather than considering how far you can push your body, how much alcohol you can consume before you have to take things seriously, why not make the change now to your lifestyle and not have all these fears and worries?!!

Surely addressing your drinking now would be a more healthier approach?!!

Hi Jacob and welcome :)

drinking and benzoes is a very bad mix. I'd probably be worried about that right now before I worried about your liver.

The fact is everyone's different - noone here knows at what point irreversible damage may occur for you, but your Dr can surely tell you more about your particular case.

D

I'm already worried a lot, and tomorrow is going to be a sober day, since I'm having my mother visit me thursday. From there on I might stay sober for as long as I can manage, but the question is how long can I manage? 1 week or 10 years?

Thank's for your comment. Yes I'm very worried about my tapering and alcohol combined. I'm afraid of having seizures which in worst case could be fatal among other things. I wish I had more control.

Start by taking it a day at a time.

Hi Jacob ,

Congrats on your tapering ,

Damn ! I used to think the same way about using booze as medicine. It was a terrible idea (for me )

When I think of how crazy it was to ; ..basically, " rent" that poison for such a short time, with all the impending (short term) downside
<hangover/ withdrawal>


....makes me wonder WTH I was thinkin' !?!
But, I'd already gone over the line , accepted I had to drink , every single day. .................. It can get bad.

Welcome to SR;

That depends on your commitment and the support you build up and the changes you're prepared to make in your life, I think Jacob :)

D

You're so right. The withdrawal and hangover makes me want to drink the next day. The Impending doom. Tomorrow is going to be a sober day. I know I will succeed, but I don't know for how long. Once my benzo tapering is over I know I will have a MUCH easier time staying sober and live a healthy life. Still 60 days to go though :(

You're right Dee. I need to get back in the gym and resist the urge to drink, but it's easier said that done. I have all the support I could ever want. My brother lives next to me with his family. He's well educated and has a career job, and yet he's always there for me. I'm always honest with him. I'm the godfather to his son, so I owe him and my nephew to be a man of my word. I feel a bit guilty.

I think everyone who's not been living up to their potential feels a bit guilty in the beginning.

The solution is pretty obvious tho :)

D

You won't have a seizure from alcohol withdrawal due to the benzos you're taking. From a physical withdrawal point of view, now is a pretty good time to quite alcohol. It's good your family is involved. It gives you accountability.

As long as I can stay sober and be a good godfather/uncle, which I know I can, I feel that my duty is done in regards to my relationship to my brother and his family.

My potential has always been high. I've always had the brain to get a high education. Now I'm stuck with alcohol/drug abuse. It has taught me countless of things though, so I'm not complaining. Mind over matter :)

Thank you!

Uh, I don't know whether you are going to have seizures or not coming off the booze, and neither does anyone else except your doctor. If you can look up the benzo dosages that they use for alcohol withdrawal protocols and compare it to what you are taking you will see a serious mismatch.

I'm not a doctor, but I certainly wouldn't consider my self in the clear about any outcome when mixing benzoes and booze, Jacob.

I'd like to remind everyone of our medical advice rule....

I understand that all who shared are well meaning and trying to help - however what happened to you and how you overcame it may not be suitable for others, and may well keep someone else from seeking the professional assistance they need.

We are a peer support group here. We simply cannot give medical advice. You need to see a medical professional for that.

Thanks for your understanding

Dee
Moderator
SR

I could not agree more. I'm not seeking medical advice, merely emotional comfort. To anyone reading this thread; there is no medical advice to be found here. Consult your doctor instead. We're all a bunch of hobos. We know nothing.

This is the newcomers forum and some new members may not know our rules.

I didn't think you were asking for medical advice Jacob :)

D

Sorry I knew as soon as I posted that, that I shouldn't have. It's true that it's dangerous to rely on medical opinion from strangers. See what your doctor thinks.

Hi letsbefriends.
Welcome to SR.

Welcome Jacob xxxxx