First Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Idaho
Posts: 6
First Day
This is my first sober day.
I didn't drink yesterday, but I'm not counting yesterday since I had a hangover and was miserable all day. And I drank so much the night before that I was still a little drunk most of the morning yesterday.
I got home from work and poured my hidden bottle of whiskey down the kitchen sink.
I'm tired of being a drunk. I'm tired of drinking until I pass out, and of the embarrassing things I do and say when I'm drunk. I cannot have one drink. One drink leads to twelve drinks.
I need help but I live in a small community where going to AA is not an option. My partner is a prominent person, and there is no way I am going to be able to be anonymous. I'm pretty sure that the fallout would make me want to drink - isn't that ironic? Can this be done with sheer determination, and how?
I didn't drink yesterday, but I'm not counting yesterday since I had a hangover and was miserable all day. And I drank so much the night before that I was still a little drunk most of the morning yesterday.
I got home from work and poured my hidden bottle of whiskey down the kitchen sink.
I'm tired of being a drunk. I'm tired of drinking until I pass out, and of the embarrassing things I do and say when I'm drunk. I cannot have one drink. One drink leads to twelve drinks.
I need help but I live in a small community where going to AA is not an option. My partner is a prominent person, and there is no way I am going to be able to be anonymous. I'm pretty sure that the fallout would make me want to drink - isn't that ironic? Can this be done with sheer determination, and how?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Originally Posted by Aprilfirst2014 
This is my first sober day.
I didn't drink yesterday, but I'm not counting yesterday since I had a hangover and was miserable all day. And I drank so much the night before that I was still a little drunk most of the morning yesterday.
I got home from work and poured my hidden bottle of whiskey down the kitchen sink.
I'm tired of being a drunk. I'm tired of drinking until I pass out, and of the embarrassing things I do and say when I'm drunk. I cannot have one drink. One drink leads to twelve drinks.
I need help but I live in a small community where going to AA is not an option. My partner is a prominent person, and there is no way I am going to be able to be anonymous. I'm pretty sure that the fallout would make me want to drink - isn't that ironic? Can this be done with sheer determination, and how?
I didn't drink yesterday, but I'm not counting yesterday since I had a hangover and was miserable all day. And I drank so much the night before that I was still a little drunk most of the morning yesterday.
I got home from work and poured my hidden bottle of whiskey down the kitchen sink.
I'm tired of being a drunk. I'm tired of drinking until I pass out, and of the embarrassing things I do and say when I'm drunk. I cannot have one drink. One drink leads to twelve drinks.
I need help but I live in a small community where going to AA is not an option. My partner is a prominent person, and there is no way I am going to be able to be anonymous. I'm pretty sure that the fallout would make me want to drink - isn't that ironic? Can this be done with sheer determination, and how?
You are in for a hurtin' the next few weeks if you dont, as you start to experience the horrific withdrawal symptoms just remember this quote:
"If you're going through hell......... keep going" - Winston Churchill
best of luck!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Well, I'm not sure if sheer determination will do it, but I do believe that motivation is the key, rather than the program you use. It's really hard to get sober and recover and you need to really want it. Many of us here don't use AA, so take a look around and you will see there are lots of different ways to get sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello, and welcome.
I was a pass out drinker, too. Having one and moderation were not in my vocabulary.
Also drank whiskey. At the end I was drinking at 8am. Real social drinker I was, huh?
I've poured more booze down the drain than a normal person drinks in a year. Never stopped me. Funny thing, they kept making more. And after a few days when feeling better back at it.
I attended AA and learned a lot. Then stopped going. Was soon drinking again. But, I got a lot out of AA and it stuck in my mind. It ruined my drinking.
Now I rely on the memories of how I felt during the viscious hangovers and all the times I made an ass of myself. Really, I'm lucky to be alive.
It's been over three years now since I've had a drink. I rely on this site heavily. Reading the posts of people like you who remind me of what it's like out there.
Sure it can be done with sheer determination. You have to want to not drink more than you want to drink.
Come here and read and post. Do anything you have to to stay sober.
I've been where you are and made it out one day at a time. Best to you in your efforts.
I was a pass out drinker, too. Having one and moderation were not in my vocabulary.
Also drank whiskey. At the end I was drinking at 8am. Real social drinker I was, huh?
I've poured more booze down the drain than a normal person drinks in a year. Never stopped me. Funny thing, they kept making more. And after a few days when feeling better back at it.
I attended AA and learned a lot. Then stopped going. Was soon drinking again. But, I got a lot out of AA and it stuck in my mind. It ruined my drinking.
Now I rely on the memories of how I felt during the viscious hangovers and all the times I made an ass of myself. Really, I'm lucky to be alive.
It's been over three years now since I've had a drink. I rely on this site heavily. Reading the posts of people like you who remind me of what it's like out there.
Sure it can be done with sheer determination. You have to want to not drink more than you want to drink.
Come here and read and post. Do anything you have to to stay sober.
I've been where you are and made it out one day at a time. Best to you in your efforts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Idaho
Posts: 6
Thank you for the replies. Reading some of the posts makes me feel a lot stronger. There are a lot of us, I see. Since I cannot make a public recovery, I'll need to make a personal one. I am committed to the change, and the support sure does help. I googled "getting sober without AA" and found this site. Glad I did.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Welcome! The sheer determination will be required in the first weeks.
After that you need to support sobriety. This is the tricky part, establishing a support system. You will feel 100 times better, that's when the time your little voice will tell you a hole bunch of lies. Your ok, you see you can stop, etc etc.
Above all please don't let yourself get, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. The HALT model documented here on SR.
After that you need to support sobriety. This is the tricky part, establishing a support system. You will feel 100 times better, that's when the time your little voice will tell you a hole bunch of lies. Your ok, you see you can stop, etc etc.
Above all please don't let yourself get, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. The HALT model documented here on SR.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Snohomish County, Washington
Posts: 32
Hi Aprilfirst - congratulations on not drinking yesterday! Even though you were feeling bad it's still great that you made that choice instead of heading down the thought process of "I feel horrible, but a drink will make me feel better"... we all know it's too easy to slip down that stream.
Good luck with your path, take it one day at a time and keep fighting. This site is great to be a part of!
Good luck with your path, take it one day at a time and keep fighting. This site is great to be a part of!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Hey Aprilfirst! Congratulations on making a fine decision. Yes there are alternatives to AA. Seek an ye shall find. But I do highly recommend going to at least a few AA meetings. Look on line. Finding a meeting is easier than finding a liquor store. If you are not way out in the sticks you should be able to find one fairly close to you.
If you are overwhelmed when they ask for newcomers to identify themselves, it's not the end of the world if you choose to remain silent. Just sit there and take it all in.Talk to someone after the meeting.
And there is lots to read on this site. Very helpful info and people too.
If you are overwhelmed when they ask for newcomers to identify themselves, it's not the end of the world if you choose to remain silent. Just sit there and take it all in.Talk to someone after the meeting.
And there is lots to read on this site. Very helpful info and people too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi and welcome Aprilfirst2014
You'll find a lot of support here - why not check out our Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-2.html
D
You'll find a lot of support here - why not check out our Class of August support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2014-a-2.html
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Aprilfirst - it's great that you found us. You're right, there are many of us - and you are never alone.
I had no one else to confide in when I first stopped. Coming to SR made me feel instantly comforted & less anxious about the whole thing. That meant everything to me - and I found the courage to quit. I was a one drink = 12 person too. Then I'd start up the next day (hair of the dog). It is so wonderful to have those sick old days behind me. You can do this!
I had no one else to confide in when I first stopped. Coming to SR made me feel instantly comforted & less anxious about the whole thing. That meant everything to me - and I found the courage to quit. I was a one drink = 12 person too. Then I'd start up the next day (hair of the dog). It is so wonderful to have those sick old days behind me. You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Idaho
Posts: 6
Thank you for the encouragement today. It is uplifting. I'm reading a book by Dave Ramsey with a quote not intended for addiction. But today I realized that I've loved the quote and it TOTALLY applies to addiction!
"Not until the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change will you embrace change."
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my forehead.
"Not until the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change will you embrace change."
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my forehead.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by Aprilfirst2014
Thank you for the encouragement today. It is uplifting. I'm reading a book by Dave Ramsey with a quote not intended for addiction. But today I realized that I've loved the quote and it TOTALLY applies to addiction!
"Not until the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change will you embrace change."
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my forehead.
"Not until the pain of the same is greater than the pain of change will you embrace change."
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my forehead.
I would give second thoughts about the tattoo though, being in a small town and your husband and all...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Welcome April First, this site and the wonderful people on it is a great support for me too, as I am sure it will be for you.
Could you see a doctor or counsellor without the whole town having to know? They have an oath to keep things confidential and it might help talking to someone independently who you can be honest with. Being honest to someone is such a release I found and I love seeing my psychologist so I can unload. Best wishes in your journey x
Could you see a doctor or counsellor without the whole town having to know? They have an oath to keep things confidential and it might help talking to someone independently who you can be honest with. Being honest to someone is such a release I found and I love seeing my psychologist so I can unload. Best wishes in your journey x
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
