Question about sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Question about sobriety
So you don't have a drink for a couple of months, like me. I'm glad but here it goes. I feel like a drinker that hasn't had a drink. When do we feel like a non-drinker? Ever?
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Oh definitely ever 
I can't say exactly when it happened for me - more than 2 months but definitly less than a year. I moved house and area at 4 months and I've always said I'm /acted like a non drinker to new people I met and it felt normal. Maybe it was easier having a new start with no history.
Many congratulations on your 2 months. Protect it all you can and don't put yourself in situations where you may be tempted.
I can't say exactly when it happened for me - more than 2 months but definitly less than a year. I moved house and area at 4 months and I've always said I'm /acted like a non drinker to new people I met and it felt normal. Maybe it was easier having a new start with no history. Many congratulations on your 2 months. Protect it all you can and don't put yourself in situations where you may be tempted.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
I drank for thirty-five years. I accepted that it would take more than a couple months to feel comfortable as a "non drinker."
And now, at three and a half years without a drink, if feels pretty darn normal.
However, it you are merely abstaining from alcohol, instead of recovering from alcoholism, you will probably feel just like you do...in the limbo of a drinker waiting for a drink.
And now, at three and a half years without a drink, if feels pretty darn normal.
However, it you are merely abstaining from alcohol, instead of recovering from alcoholism, you will probably feel just like you do...in the limbo of a drinker waiting for a drink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
When I dont drink, I am a non drinker.
Remember that just cuz someone hasnt drank booze, doesnt absolutely mean they have sobriety. They can be just as sick sober, as drunk. I have seen many sober people, of multiple years, walk through the doors of a rehab facility. Their minds and actions are totally sick, just as they were when drunk.
Remember that just cuz someone hasnt drank booze, doesnt absolutely mean they have sobriety. They can be just as sick sober, as drunk. I have seen many sober people, of multiple years, walk through the doors of a rehab facility. Their minds and actions are totally sick, just as they were when drunk.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I felt more confident in my sobriety persona after about 3 months . After the year was over i felt a whole lot different as the cravings kinda went away around then .
I think its a thing you only notice in retrospect , Get busy living the recovery and the question will seem irrelevant soon .
Keep on
Bestwishes, m
I think its a thing you only notice in retrospect , Get busy living the recovery and the question will seem irrelevant soon .
Keep on
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
I feel like a non drinker. It is almost nine months and I am around booze everyday. I have no desire to join in on being drunk again. I am loving the sober life. Maybe when you realize how great sober is, you are happy with being a non drinker. Raider, you are doing so well. I am very proud of you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Sometimes the change is so gradual and subtle, you hardly notice it. I can't remember how long it took, but I remember suddenly realising that I hadn't thought about a drink for a long time...not when socialising, shopping for groceries, during holidays, on New Year's Eve or other celebrations...it just felt completely normal not to drink. That felt such a relief.
For me, I did change quite a few other things in my life at the same time as quitting the drink though....that way it wasn't like I'd given something up, rather that I'd gained a whole lot of new experiences.
Keep going Raider, you're doing great
For me, I did change quite a few other things in my life at the same time as quitting the drink though....that way it wasn't like I'd given something up, rather that I'd gained a whole lot of new experiences.
Keep going Raider, you're doing great
Sober Today
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 779
I've gone stretches without drinking in the past but was the same person (called a dry drunk by some). This is why I'm working the steps in AA now. I don't want to simply not drink. I want what are in the AA Promises.
Definitely I am still currently a big-time drinker who's choosing not to drink, day by day.
Definitely I am still currently a big-time drinker who's choosing not to drink, day by day.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,009
I began to enjoy a sober life after a few months having stuck quite faithfully to my recovery plan. For me, I dont think of myself as a non-drinker, rather that I am leading a sober life. A non-drinker would imply a drink/no drink mindset which I am trying to exorcise !
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Interesting question, Raider. For me I must say I don't trust and listen to my feelings regarding this. For a long time before I actually quit, in my mind I really wanted to be a non-drinker. Be done with that prison forever. So when I finally took recovery seriously, I kind of talked myself into a perception of being a non-drinker instantly because I felt so strongly that's what I wanted to achieve. I like better how my more rational mind views this: that I am an alcoholic and will need to deal with this for a very long time, if not forever. I can't say I trust myself that I will never drink again, by any means. But the desire to achieve this is very strong in my mind because I see no other solution for me but to be a non-drinker.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi Raider,
I absolutely feel like a non drinker. It took me a long while though, maybe a couple of years. And I was devastated at the thought of never drinking again. But it definitely changed after a while, and I cannot imagine going back to those drinking ways now, ever.
I absolutely feel like a non drinker. It took me a long while though, maybe a couple of years. And I was devastated at the thought of never drinking again. But it definitely changed after a while, and I cannot imagine going back to those drinking ways now, ever.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,987
Hi Raider,
Everyone is different of course. Each will progress at his or her own pace. For myself, I really only began to feel a shift in how I identified myself, at about the 8 month mark. I really do believe we must change up so many variables, re invent ourselves in a way, otherwise, there is indeed the risk that the outcome will only be that we are drinkers who don't drink, but still crave/obsess, and that is a most unpleasant state of being.
I guess that's why I'm a bit concerned that you may be taking on too much risk in an extended visit with your family so soon, Fuzz being with you not withstanding.
Anyway, please persevere, you have the power and you will be proud of yourself!
Everyone is different of course. Each will progress at his or her own pace. For myself, I really only began to feel a shift in how I identified myself, at about the 8 month mark. I really do believe we must change up so many variables, re invent ourselves in a way, otherwise, there is indeed the risk that the outcome will only be that we are drinkers who don't drink, but still crave/obsess, and that is a most unpleasant state of being.
I guess that's why I'm a bit concerned that you may be taking on too much risk in an extended visit with your family so soon, Fuzz being with you not withstanding.
Anyway, please persevere, you have the power and you will be proud of yourself!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by Leshar 
Hi Raider,
Everyone is different of course. Each will progress at his or her own pace. For myself, I really only began to feel a shift in how I identified myself, at about the 8 month mark. I really do believe we must change up so many variables, re invent ourselves in a way, otherwise, there is indeed the risk that the outcome will only be that we are drinkers who don't drink, but still crave/obsess, and that is a most unpleasant state of being.
I guess that's why I'm a bit concerned that you may be taking on too much risk in an extended visit with your family so soon, Fuzz being with you not withstanding.
Anyway, please persevere, you have the power and you will be proud of yourself!
Everyone is different of course. Each will progress at his or her own pace. For myself, I really only began to feel a shift in how I identified myself, at about the 8 month mark. I really do believe we must change up so many variables, re invent ourselves in a way, otherwise, there is indeed the risk that the outcome will only be that we are drinkers who don't drink, but still crave/obsess, and that is a most unpleasant state of being.
I guess that's why I'm a bit concerned that you may be taking on too much risk in an extended visit with your family so soon, Fuzz being with you not withstanding.
Anyway, please persevere, you have the power and you will be proud of yourself!
Firstly congrats on 2 months , that's fantastic:-) i really think an extended visit with the family is too soon. IMO .
Only you know how vulnerable or how strong you may be .
I'm 9 months in now and i just realised when I went to lunch the other day and all the alcohol bottles are displayed around the counter , i was not the least bit interested.
This has taken a long time .
But yay , thank god at last i know its possible to go to a restaurant whilst others are drinking around me and not even feel like a drink
HALLEBLOODYLUJAH ! I say to that.
Xxx it WILL happen , even though it feels like it never will xxx
Hugs x
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