getright15

I posted on here a few times and I did receive a lot of feedback and suggestions. I like drinking always have. Its also brought problems some of which have been pretty expensive. Recently I was at work and ended up getting suspended for being under the influence of medication because of oral surgery and the meds had me loopy that's for sure. Which I know drinking doenst help in situations where emotions are running high. Ended up leaving on a 5 day work suspension and who knows what to expect when I go back to work in a few days. I'm lucky to be here I can say. I was taking it because I felt backstabbed...I mean he couldve just sent me home knowing what I was dealing with. Mind also that I was on probabtion months back for a medical leave and which I had the Dr paper work just to get written up for it when I got the office the following week. I admit drinking and dealing with the stupid issues makes my mind run wild and just feel that its one thing after the next. Been feeling ****** since last week missing a weeks worth of pay and binge for a days on end. I stopped today but you know how that goes. Feel like **** mentally and physically.

MythOfSisyphus

Hang in there getright15. Things will stay out of control as long as the root cause (drinking) is the same.

Ruby2

I'm not exactly sure what you are looking for. Your comment that you like drinking always have is confusing because it doesn't sound like you want to quit. I loved drinking. Most of us did but in the end it was too much and too often with negative results.

Drinking doesn't lead to good things in my life and snarls things up. I didn't lose my job over it but I got bumped down quite a few rungs of the ladder with very little chance that I will make it back up to where I was. Too many days of calling in sick and leaving early for random things which were all related to the drinking and the aftermath. Sloppy work. Other people carrying part of my share when they didn't and shouldn't have had too. I was unreliable and what boss wants to continue paying for someone who can't do what they are paid to do? Even when I had legitimate non alcohol related absences it was by then the little boy who cried wolf. I wasn't all bad but They didn't want me around in the end and were only too happy to shove me off to another unit so I became the headache of that unit instead. I was darn fortunate that I wasn't fired because I probably deserved either discipline or firing. Is this the point you find yourself in? I was angry for a bit but deep down I admitted that I got to where I was because of who I was - an alcoholic - and through my own actions caused the situation I was in. No one else did. Just me. My hurt pride and ego made me angry but it was false pride.

You aren't alone in this but you have to want sobriety. Things have a way of working themselves out. You can spend the time during your suspension working on a plan to stay sober if that is what you really want. Come here for support. Try AA meetings if you haven't. Talk to your company's employee assistance program. There are options available if you want to use them.