Just wondering
 

I haven't had a terrible rock bottom. Never had a DUI, lost a job, a marriage, anything due to drinking. I hope I can keep it that way. A lot of the material I've been reading of late is about hitting rock bottom and being at a place of desperation in order to quit drinking. Has anyone managed to get sober without hitting a terrible bottom?

Hi SpringWater. From what I have read on here, many, many people have decided to become sober before hitting rock bottom and I, for one, am in awe of their insight. xxxxx

Anyone can get sober whenever they chose too. I was fortunate enough to do so before I lost my family, job or other very important things in my life. Many others here have done so as well. I'd wager that there are more that quit before they "lose it all" than there are who wait for that to happen.

Yes.

Interesting question. Last week I was at an AA meeting and the person chairing the meeting said we needed to get to a place of complete desperation and utter disgust and shame to really want to get sober. I hope that isn't the case. I've been in some really low places and I hate to thing it could get even worse!

It's not the case, it's merely the opinion of the person you heard speaking. There are examples here in SR and in recovery groups every day of those who get sober without reaching a defineable "bottom".

I never lost a job, a marriage or had a DUI but in hindsight I view that all as I had going for me was great luck in many regards. My behavior at times was deserving of having all those "rock bottom" moments happen to me and more.
So enter the choice, keep it up til it happens or quit while ahead, I chose the latter!

yes,i did.

I've heard numerous stories here and in the rooms of people whose "bottoms" weren't really "rock" by a lot of standards.

I myself have had a couple DUI's but never considered them "bottoms". To be honest... I didn't even take the first one as a sign there was a problem. Dealt with my consequences somewhat annoyed and went right on with my life as I wanted to.

The second was a wakeup call for sure.... yet still not a "bottom" as I saw it. It got me started on my efforts to try and moderate, change things.... a few years after that saw my efforts meet limited success and some things in my life become more and more 'bottom-like'.

Thankfully, not horrible in the sense of losing everything or harming or killing anyone, but bottom-ish enough in the despair and anguish I caused myself to bring me to really WANT to stop this downward elevator before I find out what a "bottom" really is.

I think we all can choose our own bottom, depending on how willing we are to do so and how stubbornly we allow ourselves to resist.

The game of "Comparison" can be a dangerous one. Comparing our drinking habits to those of others often serves to mask the dangers of our own habit. Comparing "rock bottoms" can do the same. While someone may not have a DUI, he may have had many close calls; an observant driver may have avoided the collision with the impaired driver; the police officer may have been ten seconds behind the drunk driver. Our marriages may not have ended up in divorce but little by little, we may have been chipping away at the trust and faith our spouses have placed in us; little by little our spouses begin to confide in friends at times they would have ordinarily shared with us; little by little our children grow up and come to realize that mommy and daddy act funny or scary sometimes and begin to withdraw and eventually they fully understand why; our employers may not fire us, but they begin to see that we just don't seem to have what it takes for that new position or promotion.

I played Comparison for a long time but I realized it was a game I was not winning.

I have, so far. I stumbled onto this site 7 months ago, while nursing a massive hangover. I was lucky enough to read the information here that led me to realize that I am an alcoholic. And it WAS luck. I could just have easily gained that insight from a jail cell or a hospital room. I didn't need to reach rock-bottom, or have some terrible event convince me that my drinking habit was getting progressively more destructive.

So, am I lucky that I have "seen the light" before something really, really bad happened? Absolutely. Does that make me any less of an alcoholic than anyone else? Not even a little bit.

When we can admit we're powerless over alcohol, and that our lives have become unmanageable, we are finally there.

Some of us have hit bottom and not even known it. It doesn't have to be a jail, or DUI.