Rose123

How many times am I going to stop drinking before it actually sticks? I binged all weekend and feel completely awful today. I started a new job exactly one week ago and called in sick today. Hopefully I still have a job. My panic and anxiety are almost unbearable. I hate feeling like this.

Chasingthedream

Hi Rose123, I know exactly how you feel. I have a problem with cocaine and have been saying 'never again' for the past ten years of my life. I don't have any answers. Spent the weekend getting high in secret, but I know I want to get clean. Playing it through to the end does help sometimes, knowing that the inevitable always happens and that the few hours of 'fun' (which it isn't really anymore anyway) will be followed by days of sickness and depression. I'm here if you need me!

Rose123

Thanks Chasingthedream. I'm here for you also. I need all the support and advice I can get right now. I feel so low and confused. I feel like nothing makes me happy anymore.

Treerat66

Hi Rose and chasingthedream, welcome to SR.
Hope you find a plan to get you drug free.

Pipefish

Hey Rose

Sympathise with you...those are not good feelings, and certainly been there too. But you're here, and that's great

What are your plans for staying stopped this time around?

Rose123

I'm looking into Women for Sobriety. I don't think AA is the right choice for me. I don't have insurance so unfortunately won't be able to see a therapist. I have some emotionally painful issues that I know need to be addressed in order for me to be healthy. I also hope to find tons of support here.

FreeOwl

the first thing you have to do is truly, truly, TRULY decide;

I CHOOSE SOBRIETY.

The next thing you have to do is decide that EVERY DAY. Every hour... even every MINUTE if you must.

You need a plan and you need to stick with that plan.

You need support and you need to really be willing to do what it takes.

But it all starts with choosing. Really choosing. In almost no case does anyone physically force you to keep drinking... except yourself.

That said, I really hope that you're able to do so. Starting RIGHT. NOW.

Chasingthedream

I understand what you mean when you say you're low and confused- I feel the same, but I guess the only thing that matters is you want to be sober, and that is a simple, uncomplicated thing. It's just about keeping that goal at the forefront of everything you do. I put a lot of pressure on myself about a lot of things that I want to achieve, but I've decided that the most important thing in my life right now is to stay sober. The other things can wait, and will probably benefit from me being sober anyway.

shakeel

Since AA is not your thing, and you definetly need somthing at this point, try AVRT. you can read about it on SR under secular connection. I myself been relapsing as long as I can remember and now use both AA and AVRT(addictive voice recognition technique)

Dan1888

I need to find a way to stop myself too, I have the same anxiety and low feeling as you after a weekend of heavy drinking. Its a horrible feeling and if you're anything like me you dont want to face people on Monday so sometimes its easier just to hide and try to recover.

Good luck, you're not alone.

KimsFriend

I am sorry you are feeling so low Rose and Dan.
I am new at this sobriety thing, but I can tell you that after only 9 days of being sober, the shame I felt has lessened a bit. And I think that the longer I go and more days of sobriety that I rack up will be inversely related to those feelings of shame and guilt.

No need to feel anxiety and low after a weekend of heavy drinking when you haven't been drinking.

Keep posting!