Newcomer going on day 5-My Story
I just wanted to introduce myself. I have been lurking here for a while and finally decided to join. I am a 32 year old male. I started drinking every weekend at age 19. I kept to that schedule for a few years, until I was in my mid-late twenties. I began drinking every night, usually light beers, anywhere from 8-10 a night, with an indulgence on weekends that was much greater.
I kept this drinking schedule for a few years, but then gradually reduced about a year ago to no more than six beers on a weeknight, anything goes on the weekend.I was still a daily drinker. I began drinking a lot of microbrew(this costs a small fortune), I even became snobby about it to convince myself that is was all worth it. I even started brewing it.
It was all well and good, except for that fact that a sober night, just the thought was terrifying. I never really got drunk, but did drink every night. I was lucky to have one alcohol free night a month. It never affected my job, I even earned Masters degree while being a slave to alcohol. I never drank during the daytime, I also would never drink and drive since I drank at home, at the end of the day.
About 3 months ago, I began taking one-two off days a week from alcohol. I usually felt a little edgy if I took two consecutive days off in a row. I probably had more sober days in the last 3 months, than I had in the last 5 years.
Anyways, while I did convince myself that all was OKAY with alcohol, I could feel my health deteriorating. I gained weight, and just got sick of the lifestyle. Running around looking for beer, the bottles, the cans, the restless nights, the sugar cravings, mood swings, lack of sleep. The fear of life without alcohol.
I always knew that this love/hate relationship with alcohol couldn't go on forever. I started dreaming for sobriety. Yet I still drank my beer, convinced that my love of micro brew was a 'hobby'. Yet, the thought of being without my hobby for to long was a scary thought.
About two weeks ago, I just stopped buying beer. I really never did like liquor, but could tolerate the likes of Jim Beam. So, I bought a handle of Jim Beam, thinking that it would help me cut down, and to some extent it did. So for about two weeks, I drank a few Jim Beam's and Diet Cokes each night in place of beer.
Last week I came down with a cold. And took a sober night to recover. But after one day, I was still sick so I took another day off from drinking. Yesterday, I felt better, but made a conscious effort to take a third day off from alcohol. I felt a little foggy, and couldn't sleep, I didn't bow or break.
Today, I am making a conscious effort to make if night number 4 without booze
(I have not done this in years). Tomorrow will mark 5 days clean. I don't want to break this addiction again, I am going to fulfill my desire to rid my body of this poison once and for all. Thanks for reading my story!