Disgusted
 

So I joined back in August and thought I was going to be different and not slip, not realizing that this will be an issue with me FOREVER. I went through 2 periods of abstaining for 2+ months and thought I had it licked. Then when temptation kicked in I thought I could handle "just Friday nights", which then led to some Saturdays to get through the hangover from last night. Well this week there were 3 days in total and I am absolutely disgusted with myself. I know better and I want better and so I'm back because I feel anonymously I can get the support I need to go back to fully abstaining, because that is my only option. I have been on the path to sobriety and I know how good it feels. I knew if I didn't post today and make this commitment to myself I would quickly end up going in the wrong direction. I am so thankful for all of you.:a108:

I'm glad you're giving it another go. :hug:

Me too, thanks. Posting on here helps me not feel so alone and makes me accountable.

Welcome back to the fight of your life!

Hi Marcella - it's great to see you. :)

I did that too - tried to become a social drinker after it almost destroyed me. I was sure if I used enough willpower I could have a few once in awhile. When I finally found SR I was drinking 24/7. It was hard to admit I had no control - but I'd never want to go back to those miserable old days. You can do this.

Welcome back Marcella - do you have a plan to help you stay sober?

D

Hang in there Mate. Took me many attempts and lessons including the critical ones ruling out moderation. It just doesn't work for me and for many like me. Pick yourself up, march on. Yesterday was yesterday and today is today.

Marcella - that was my Grandmother's name.... I understand she was an alcoholic too.

Welcome back!

Marcella, you can do this. At least you realize that you can't drink and didn't let it get more out of control. Stay strong. You are worth it.

Marcella, it's really hard to fully accept that alcoholism means we can't drink, ever. But, the upside of that, is when you do accept it, life becomes much easier.

We are here for you. :)

Because of my situation, and general outlook I have abstained for months at a time without really trying.

Personally my binges, even one night are horrible. I don't think I decided to commit until I realized that even if one and 20 of my drinking nights were bad, it wouldn't be worth it. That and the hangover, not just physically, but the guilt/shame always ruins a day = not worth it.

Thanks for sharing, it only reinforces my need to commit each day to sobriety.

Welcome back!!

I did that same thing a couple / few times. This last time stuck for much longer, up to nine months now. Maybe we get better at getting better? Hope so.