It's worth it
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
It's worth it
A warm smile. A soft touch. Holding hands.
I have only held the hand of someone I loved less than a dozen times in my life... in public that is.
Provincetown Massachusetts ... New York City... Places where the simple act blends in but not unnoticed.
It was half those moments... So few... That I was even sober. Drink forced the open expressions others take for granted.
Without drinking will I ever hold a hand again? Will I be brave enough to smile and reach out?
Drinking forced the hand I once held in love to be raised to me in harm. Inconceivable.
Feeling alone is so different than being lonely. They are unlike each other. I often confuse them.
I have to say I am more alone than lonely. That's ok I guess.
Drinking just made it so I was in crowded rooms. But.... alone.
When we sit quietly and think just one would help. Just one would make everything better. It won't. It can't.
Today's a new day. Not tomorrow. I might not have a hand to hold but I am not lonely.
I am sober. And that alone makes it worth everything.
I have only held the hand of someone I loved less than a dozen times in my life... in public that is.
Provincetown Massachusetts ... New York City... Places where the simple act blends in but not unnoticed.
It was half those moments... So few... That I was even sober. Drink forced the open expressions others take for granted.
Without drinking will I ever hold a hand again? Will I be brave enough to smile and reach out?
Drinking forced the hand I once held in love to be raised to me in harm. Inconceivable.
Feeling alone is so different than being lonely. They are unlike each other. I often confuse them.
I have to say I am more alone than lonely. That's ok I guess.
Drinking just made it so I was in crowded rooms. But.... alone.
When we sit quietly and think just one would help. Just one would make everything better. It won't. It can't.
Today's a new day. Not tomorrow. I might not have a hand to hold but I am not lonely.
I am sober. And that alone makes it worth everything.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi Weasel, beautiful words.
I'm quite an introverted person by nature so I generally do OK being alone, can be very preoccupied with my interests... but at the same time definitely crave and value meaningful connections, probably more than anything else in life, if I want to be honest.
If we want to relate loneliness vs being alone to addiction vs sobriety. My experience was that heavy drinking alienated me from others (and many others from me) more than anything else I'd experienced in life - this is what I would define as loneliness in my book. Being alone is something I would more link to some periods of time and states that I often experience sober and by myself, but it's not unpleasant and often even necessary (I need a lot of space). Well, in the ideal world anyway. In reality all this needs a lot more work
Another analogy that comes to mind is detachment (negative) vs non-attachment (neutral or positive).
I'm quite an introverted person by nature so I generally do OK being alone, can be very preoccupied with my interests... but at the same time definitely crave and value meaningful connections, probably more than anything else in life, if I want to be honest.
If we want to relate loneliness vs being alone to addiction vs sobriety. My experience was that heavy drinking alienated me from others (and many others from me) more than anything else I'd experienced in life - this is what I would define as loneliness in my book. Being alone is something I would more link to some periods of time and states that I often experience sober and by myself, but it's not unpleasant and often even necessary (I need a lot of space). Well, in the ideal world anyway. In reality all this needs a lot more work
Another analogy that comes to mind is detachment (negative) vs non-attachment (neutral or positive).
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
K ,
You and i both have a lot to experience and understand about this thing called sober living and life . I've only been doing it two years and know nothing about it .
With sobriety as a solid foundation who's to say whats in store for you ?
I know 100% of my fate and decline if i drink . With sobriety you just don't know ..
Keep on
Bestwishes, m
You and i both have a lot to experience and understand about this thing called sober living and life . I've only been doing it two years and know nothing about it .
With sobriety as a solid foundation who's to say whats in store for you ?
I know 100% of my fate and decline if i drink . With sobriety you just don't know ..
Keep on
Bestwishes, m
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
I've really enjoyed this post. Thank you very much, Weasel.
I guess I always saw being alone as something I wanted and being lonely was something that I didn't choose.
Some days are definitely harder than others but even if I have to be lonely for a bit at least it means that when I'm ready, I'll be in a much better position to actually be a partner in a relationship and not a walking train wreck.
I guess I always saw being alone as something I wanted and being lonely was something that I didn't choose.
Some days are definitely harder than others but even if I have to be lonely for a bit at least it means that when I'm ready, I'll be in a much better position to actually be a partner in a relationship and not a walking train wreck.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
MOS... That makes perfect sense.
Sunday morning and the aloneness of yesterday seems further away.
Windy rainy day but still brighter than a Sunday trying to sober up. Much much brighter!
Sunday morning and the aloneness of yesterday seems further away.
Windy rainy day but still brighter than a Sunday trying to sober up. Much much brighter!
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