Still drinking but have cut down?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
He does not respect you at all, drinking in front of you like that. That shows something about him, in respect to you. Time to dump him, if you have openely talked about the problem with him. However, it sounds like you want to work the program of AA. Thtats great. Meetings are not what keep us sober. It is working the steps as outlined in the book of AA. Once you have worked all 12 steps, to the best of you ability, you will notice a huge change. The daily steps, 10,11,12 along with the prayer, meditation and helping others is what will keep you strong. Just because you feel good after a meeting it will not keep you sober one bit. It always fails in the end. So, once we have been relieved of a hopeless state of mind and body, people, places and things with alcohol should not bother us, if we have recovered. We must have good reason to go to a function where the main purpose is drinking. Having a plan is highly recommended. There are those who drink normally, there are those who drink heavily until some sort of scare happens, then there are the alcoholics who must abstain from alcohol 100%.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 37
Us alcoholics often become self-loathing. This loathing means that we put up with people who arnt supportive, because we feel like we don't deserve support.
You need a partner who will support you 100% and has your back.
You need a partner who will support you 100% and has your back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Posts: 133
I have found the AA Big Book is an important book to read. I was sober for two weeks, and then had a relaps. The police were called, and I was sent to the ER. I have just gotten out of a detox program. That is where I started reading the Big Book. In particular, page 101 talks about not sheltering yourself from alcohol, but face the fact that you are different, and cannot drink. Also pray or meditate in the mornings...I am on the wagon again, and I know it will be a struggle for me, and that is why I found this website, so I could chat with folks that have the same addidiction as I have.
Take care and give up your struggles up to the higher spiritual being.
Take care and give up your struggles up to the higher spiritual being.
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
Welcome Saraya,
You have your own reasons for wanting to stop drinking, no one is forcing you to stop, you do it because it is your pleasure. I have seen very heavy drinks stop and never go back and when you ask them why they stopped, it wasnt because they had hit rock bottom or health reasons like me, it was simple . . . it was there pleasure to stop.
Your boyfriend is getting in the way of that pleasure. I would simply say to him, that your stopping drinking, either he can live with that or he better get his dancing shoes on.
Stop drinking for your own pleasure and see the fantastic results.
You have your own reasons for wanting to stop drinking, no one is forcing you to stop, you do it because it is your pleasure. I have seen very heavy drinks stop and never go back and when you ask them why they stopped, it wasnt because they had hit rock bottom or health reasons like me, it was simple . . . it was there pleasure to stop.
Your boyfriend is getting in the way of that pleasure. I would simply say to him, that your stopping drinking, either he can live with that or he better get his dancing shoes on.
Stop drinking for your own pleasure and see the fantastic results.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London
Posts: 2
Thank you so much everyone! This has helped!
To give a little background, I was in a VERY controlling and alcoholic relationship for 16 years! realised there was a problem and left.
My Daughter decided to stay there which was horrid but I understood as all of her friends were there and I moved far away. I love her so much and it was really painful.
I then met an amazing guy, and all was great! He then got cancer 6 months in and it threw me! I started drinking heavenly again especially when he was in hospital.
All was ok but I then had to have an abortion as we didn't think we could get pregnant because of the chemo, but we did. that sent me even worse!
I couldn't talk to him because it made him upset both about the baby and the cancer.
He is a bit of a controller I do realise that! But he understands that me going to meetings is helping! But says all the cliche things when I COME BACK! XX
IM STUCK! XX
To give a little background, I was in a VERY controlling and alcoholic relationship for 16 years! realised there was a problem and left.
My Daughter decided to stay there which was horrid but I understood as all of her friends were there and I moved far away. I love her so much and it was really painful.
I then met an amazing guy, and all was great! He then got cancer 6 months in and it threw me! I started drinking heavenly again especially when he was in hospital.
All was ok but I then had to have an abortion as we didn't think we could get pregnant because of the chemo, but we did. that sent me even worse!
I couldn't talk to him because it made him upset both about the baby and the cancer.
He is a bit of a controller I do realise that! But he understands that me going to meetings is helping! But says all the cliche things when I COME BACK! XX
IM STUCK! XX
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,966
you aren't stuck. you just need to stay stopped for a while and then make a decision.
If you find you can't stay stopped, then take a really good look at your situation.
Getting to AA can help. Talking with people at the meetings might help, especially if you find someone who has be IN the same situation and can let you know what they did, not that you have to do what they did, but consider what happened to them and what the outcome was.
A sober mind can help you make your own sober decision regarding your life.
with love and hugs to you,
~SB
If you find you can't stay stopped, then take a really good look at your situation.
Getting to AA can help. Talking with people at the meetings might help, especially if you find someone who has be IN the same situation and can let you know what they did, not that you have to do what they did, but consider what happened to them and what the outcome was.
A sober mind can help you make your own sober decision regarding your life.
with love and hugs to you,
~SB
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