Taproot

On Day Eight, and I don't want to get cocky, but this current try at sobriety seems more doable than my previous attempts. Why the change? I wonder if one important difference is that now when I hear the alcoholic voice, I can't help but think things like, "Oh, it's you again. You sing this sweet song, but look at where we've been--listening to you just gets me more of the same hangovers, self-loathing, and regret, the same old dead end. i just don't really trust you any more."

So that old AV is still present and accounted for, but it isn't quite as convicing as it was in the past. Thank God.

Nonsensical

It only took me 25 years to figure out the same thing!

FreeOwl

he gets more and more clever though... as time goes on.

Sometimes he gets so subtle you don't even realize it's him....

but good on ya for recognizing.

serenitynowplz

I hear that voice often. I'm trying to remind myself that the hangover, guilt, potential blackout and waking up the next day to survey the damage and figure out just how much I'm going to have to suck up to my husband just aren't worth the good time that voice is convincing me that I'm missing.

SoberLeigh

So true; he is very, very crafty. He is well-trained and knows us well, most especially our weaknesses.

We can never, ever let down our guards.

KimsFriend

someone mentioned in another thread that they imagine their AV as a monster that he is keeping locked in a cage, starving to death.
I like that imagery. I have been using it often over the last couple of days.

serenitynowplz

I can relate to that monster. Thanks for sharing. This is why I love this site. I have said on here before that I thought this voice was always my gut telling me that I really didn't have a problem, I was overreacting and that it was ok to drink. Its so so good to hear that others have this voice inside them as well.

Taproot

Yes, I also am concerned that the voice will change over time, and maybe become harder to recognize...that is a scary thought. Just when I think I've got this voice figured out, he might change his tune.

Taproot

Agreed that the "starve the monster" imagery is helpful...thanks for sharing that. A similar, but oposite image was mentioned on a thread a few days ago, that sobriety is like a helpless little newborn baby that needs to be protected and nurtured. Starve the monster...nourish the baby.

TexasMichael

8 Days is FANTASTIC Taproot!

Keep up the positive imagery.

Trigeek

I like this too.
Lately I've been imagining this though:

newman23

Congrats on day 8!

Yeah, the AV voice is a damn bully(much like an abusive relationship). It sings the sweet song, and says "this time, it will be different".....and I've learned many a time, its NEVER different! Well, the only difference is progression of consequences.

mecanix

IMHO an AV is something we give power to , just recognise it , drop it , move on .

sometimes it presents in one way sometimes another , i'd be wary of making a virtue of my suffering with it . Just kick it into the long grass and get on with living , eat some tasty food have a nice shower , snuggle down in bed , read niezcheian aphorisms to engage ones brain on something . Sit in a comfy chair and look out the window .
Maybe engage with your ice cream voice ? i found that helpful for the first few months .

Bestwishes, m

Nonsensical

I suffered with it when it was the master and I was the slave. There was definitely no virtue in that.

Those roles are now reversed. That's worth celebrating for a while. Exalting even.

Johnston

Way to go!!!

FreeOwl

yep. My experience is that he comes back in the form of all manner of tricky approaches. More and more subtle. Sometimes appearing from out of nowhere with a line of 'logic' that seems incredibly sound, just when you least expected it.

My sponsor says, "Remember.... Slick is ALWAYS out there.... and he's training. That's all he does. Train and wait. Train and wait."