It's been 25 days and three whole w/e's without a sip of booze. I'm nervous now though. My "little" sister (she's 27) is coming to my house with a new boyfriend Saturday night. The expectation will be to drink and hang out. She vaguely knows drinking has been an issue this last year but I'm not sure I'm ready to announce to her and the new bf who I've never met "I'm an alcoholic and attempting sobriety!". This will be my first social get together since quitting. Do I quietly just decline a drink, insist no one drink....what??

That's probably the ticket.
I thought the magnetic poles of the planet would shift if I refused a drink. But, as time went by I realized that people didn't really care if I had a drink or not. All of the nervousness and expectation was on my part, it really was no issue for everyone else.
You don't have to say you're quitting, or anything about your choice.

I say no thank all the time now. But when I was around people who had seen me drink before, I would say I'd taken some painkillers, or had a cold coming on, an early yoga class, an early morning, etc. I didn't feel bad about the little white lies. It made me feel better and kept me sober.

For me the first few times I didn't drink around people I usually drink with were awkward for sure.

I have found that if there is some sort of activity that keeps everyone busy and entertained it really helps keep the focus off of drinking.

Maybe try to keep the visit packed with things to do while she is there; catch a movie, go for a bike ride, museum, sky dive, whatever.

I has gotten easier and less awkward to be around people drinking now that I've filled in the time I would usually spend drinking.

This too shall pass...

With people who knew me - I would use the excuse that I was on some heavy duty antibiotics (could be bladder infection - usually people don't question though). I would mention it almost immediately, before the subject of drinking was even brought up. Then I could easily add in that I'm not allowed to drink on these meds. Obviously it's not a permanent excuse, but it's a good temporary one to use if you're not ready to be honest and bring up the whole "alcoholic thing" - better safe than sorry.

I don't know the dynamic of the relationship with your sister, but there are several possible options. If you are comfortable being around alcohol without being tempted to drink, you could do nothing other than have your non-alcohol beverage of choice for yourself and if asked you can say you don't feel like drinking tonight / are taking a break / are trying some healthy lifestyle changes / etc.

If the established pattern is getting together for the specific intention of drinking, is there a way you could contact your sister before hand and give the same message by just working it into the conversation?

I'm kind of a fan of the diplomatic strategies, especially in cases where alcoholism hasn't caused a lot of outward, visible damage to work, relationships, etc.

I use this strategy a lot. My decision to quit drinking luckily coincided with the start of Lent. I started a week before Lent and initially joked about doing a trial run to see if I could do it for 40 days. As Lent has progressed I've been able to make it a light hearted conversation about how it's going with coworkers, family, etc. Now the conversation is turning to how it's really turning out to be quite nice and that I'm thinking this might be something I'd like to stick with on a long-term basis. I can sense that people are slowly catching the drift about what's going on, and I've been pleasantly surprised at how genuinely supportive they have become. I'm even to the point now where I mention participating in SR for support and have even dropped the "a" word as appropriate with certain close and trusted friends outside of family.

I don't know. Is there some unwritten law about telling people you're an alcoholic?
I just tell people I don't drink anymore.
Started liking it too much and it wasn't liking me.

3 simple words
 

'No, Thank you' is all that is needed. If you are worried that, if they bring alcohol to your home, you will be tempted to drink then meet them somewhere and spend your time doing some other activity. You have been really wanting to go bowling haven't you? or play mini-golf or take a long walk in a lake side park or, or, or....

I promise you that it won't be that big of a deal.

Good Luck!

I can either be a drunk or I can be sober

I couldn't do both

Thanks everyone. I honestly don't know how I'll do if alcohol is around. I think I'll be ok. My husband has had beer in the fridge twice since I quit and I was okay. Maybe I'll just use the "not feeling great" excuse. If it was just her I might be more honest but I don't want to bring it up while meeting her bf for the first time. I'll make sure my husband knows my worries an my plan and hopefully he can take any attention of me if it comes up.

Who's expectation? Theirs? Or yours?

And who's to say you have to meet someone's "drinking" expectations. There are a lot of non-drinking things you can do that support, and might even enhance, meeting the sister's new bf.

Pick one.

There are multiple ways to approach this situation.

Do the one most likely to result in you staying sober.

:a122:

No, of course not. But if I say to my sister, who I always drink with, "I'm not drinking anymore", I know she will want to know why and talk about it. That's all I meant. I'm not ready to talk about it openly yet.

Great post, Lance. Thanks.

^ Exactly what Lance said. Good luck; hope you have a great time with your sister and that you like her new bf.