EJ43

Saw an amazing therapist and now am planning on going to a meeting. I am pretty scared. It says beginners should be there an hour early. Can someone just let me know what to expect during beginner time and them meeting time? It might calm my nerves a teeny bit to have expectations. Also, if I am petrified the night of.....what did you guys do to make yourselves walk in the door? Thanks!!!

Hope4Life

I see no reason to be there an hour early! At my fellowship, there would not be anyone there that early. I think it is more important to plan on staying after the meeting to introduce yourself and chat with some folks. 15 minutes early would be fine, that way the more senior members of the group would have some time to meet you beforehand. Don't be shy! These are folks just like you and they won't bite! Say hi to people on the way in and pick a seat. I guarantee that folks will welcome you!

I would also recommend a chip meeting. There is so much positive energy in the room when people are getting their chips that any of your fears will quickly disappear.

Good Luck!

KateL

You'll be fine, honestly xxxx

Ghostlight1

Congratulations on going to your first meeting.
I had to circle the block, on foot, and scope things out I was so afraid to go in.
I still got in early and didn't say a word to anyone. Just listened. I don't reccomend that.
I agree with what Hope said.

Best to you at your meeting.

Anna

I hope it goes well for you.

CAPTAINZING2000

Hmm

Got me on attending a meeting an hour early.
The only reason I could see that happening is someone there to explain AA to you possibliy getting you lined up with a temp. Sponsor.
Where is the meeting held?

Kris47

Unless you are meeting someone, 15 minutes should suffice. Don't be scared. You'll be fine. Just walk in and say hello. Tell them you are new. Take a chip if you are offered one. You are a stranger but once.

Let us know how it goes!

Congrats on your sobriety. Keep marching on.....................

parnellatwood

EJ43, I'm going to my first (other than two aborted visits in years past) meeting tonight. It's the first time I'll go and be serious about listening and hearing, that's for sure. I am also terrified. I don't know why. I think I'm afraid of being told I'm not welcome there.

Dee74

Hope it was a beneficial experience for you EJ

D

2muchpain

I've seen some new people come to their first meeting, and are comfortable enough to start sharing their first meeting, and hang around after the meeting to socialize and ask questions. Others, like me are a little more cautious in new surroundings, and do a lot of observing and listening, then start talking when they feel comfortable. If you can, I'd raise my hand, say who you are and that you are new, and could use a few numbers for support, and leave it at that unless you feel like sharing more, but you don't have to. I'd say, find a chair, kick back, relax and enjoy!!

biminiblue

parnella, you will be welcomed, I promise. If you let them know you're new, the ladies will give you phone numbers. (You are a girl, right?)

You'll be home. Honestly, it is like they walk right into your head. It's kinda eerie to hear the stories and think, "Me, too." No one will make you say anything, they won't make you say you have a problem or anything. The only qualification for membership is wanting to stop drinking.

Ruby2

Hi Parnella,

I have an idea about the hour early.

On Friday nights there is a beginners meeting at 7:00 p.m. near my house. At this meeting both newcomers to sobriety and old timers meet to discuss a topic relating to the first three steps of the 12 steps of AA. At 8:00, immediately following, there is a regular AA meeting.

At the 7:00 meeting we go around the table and give our first name. Anyone at their first meeting ever is given a phone list of supportive members of the same sex as the newcomer and a copy of the AA big book. There are two people who chair the meeting. One of them gives a lead - sharing their own experience related to the discussion topic. Discussion topics are passed around on photocopied sheets prior to the start so people have something to refer to and to save for later if they choose. After the lead the topic is then opened for general discussion. People share if they want. No one has to talk at all and can just listen if that is where they are at. The sharing is one person at a time and not a general conversation. People raise their hands to be recognized by the chair before they speak. Most AA meetings go in order around the table. For example, last weeks topic was H.O.W. - Honest, Open and Willing. To be honest about alcoholism, open and willing to make changes. So, if the resource said beginners come an hour early it might be for a pre meeting meeting. Kind of like AA orientation. I would go just to check it out. Then you know there will be other newcomers as well who probably will be as nervous.

I like my beginners meeting. It is really laid back and supportive.

Ruby2

Ah, I just realized that the op is EJ. Sorry but the info goes for Parnella as well.

EJ43

Thanks so much everyone!!! I am pretty scared, think I might go to an open meeting Saturday night, it's a huge step for me!

EJ43

Oh, and it does look like a beginner meeting followed by a regular meeting.

Deluxe

Meetings are cool. Remember you are well and truly in the majority there. No ones looking at you or probably even thinking about you. That doesn't mean they don't care about you. I chuckle now when I think about the courage I had to muster to attend my first meeting. Seems silly now as there is not a thing to fear.

Ruby2

Open meetings are a great way to get your feet wet in AA. I enjoy attending and they are generally more festive than regular meetings. Kind of like happy hour for alcoholics but with a message. If it is an open speaker meeting - a meeting where someone gets up and talks about their own experience getting sober by working the Aa steps (what it was like, what happened and what it is like now) - keep in mind that open speaker meetings are like the frosting on the cake. They are good but are not generally the meat and potatoes of AA which is working the steps. Once you are comfortable with going, big book and step meetings