KimsFriend

I have not drank since Saturday. My husband will be at a work dinner tonight and I could drink without him knowing. I want to drink now. I want to not have to think about this.
I hate that I have become this. I hate how much I have embarrassed him. I hate that my two year old has seen me wasted. I hate that I am here. I hate everything.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR.

It's maddening to know that alcohol is ruining your life and still feel like you want to drink. Maddening, frustrating and irritating.

What can you do to work out some frustrations this evening without drinking? Music, exercise, play with the kid? Think of something. Sitting around thinking about not drinking is the pits!

Work on your new sober life. You can do this.

KimsFriend

Thank you for the reply. I do not know what I can do to keep my mind off of it. I will try to play music and play with my son.
Thank you for the suggestion.

IOAA2

Hi and welcome. Most people in recovery become honest with them selves about their drinking and try to stop when the pain of it when it gets strong enough. There are many things I/we don't like and the short answer is acceptance and doing something about it. I was very undisciplined during my drinking days and acted out with my wants to no avail.
I finally accepted that I could not drink alcohol in SAFETY. Like it or not. At that point recovery started.

BE WELL

KimsFriend

I just keep telling myself to keep breathing. To take a minute at a time. But the craving is so strong I don't know how much longer I can fight it. I have been in therapy for over a year. I feel like the more I "uncover" about myself, the more I want to drink.

I need to make it another day.

doggonecarl

Hate, hate, hate. Drink and you will hate the guilt, hate the anxiety, will hate coming here and telling us you drank. You'll hate yourself more.

Don't drink tonight and I bet you love how you feel waking up sober tomorrow.

IOAA2

When I tried to stop it was suggested to have some sweets as the body is trying to get the sweets it had by converting alcohol to sugar. Nothing permanent but a thought.

BE WELL

KimsFriend

I know you are right. I just need to get to tomorrow to feel better.

KimsFriend

I have read this as well (somewhere). I just swallowed two Hershey bars almost whole. Thank you for the suggestion.

Jade1224

You can do it Kim. It will be hard tonight but think about how accomplished you will feel tomorrow! Just gwt to tomorrow. It all gets easier. Just take the first step.

Stoogy

Hi Kim, don't put too much pressure on yourself, small victories mean a hell of a lot so don't think about anything other than to make it another day without giving in. Nobody can look too far ahead every day you get stronger and stronger and time will pass by regardless how you spend it, I am living proof that you can do it. All the best Kim. Stuart.

least

Welcome! I'm glad you joined us. You'll find a lot of support and understanding here.

Holli

Can you take a nap? Eat something sweet? Take a walk? If you can hang in there, it slowly gets better...

Stoogy

I know coffee took the initial edge of for me, but exercise if unable to sleep really helped me get a fresh perspective on things.. You will feel great in the morning if you can resist believe me.

KateL

Keep it up and you will feel better xxxxxx

KimsFriend

Thank you everyone for responding. I have tears in my eyes. I want to make it.

Stoogy

Kim, we are all here to help each other, you are doing great remember that. Stuart.

firstymer

It's ok to hate everything right now. I was right there, exactly where you are, at Day 4. I swore, a lot, during those first few days. It's perfectly normal, and it's all part of the process.

You won't drink today. You won't drink because you know how important this is to you and to your family. You won't drink because, deep down inside, you know that the guilt and shame you will feel if you do drink will make you feel even worse than you feel today. And you won't drink because tomorrow, and each day you stay sober, it will get a little easier, and life will get a little better.

Good luck. Please let us know how things turn out.

freetosmile

I have found that I am very angry when I want to use, but the truth is that I am angrier the next morning after giving in. So don't give in!

Dee74

Kim's Friend - have you checked out the Class of March support thread yet?
It might be another help in fighting against those cravings.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-5-a-14.html

also check out this link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html