brand new, my story
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,022
brand new, my story
I am an overall substance abuser and have been for about 17 years. I have no real vise, just anything that will alter my perception of reality. I never really get wasted, as I don't like the feeling and I don't like the hangovers.
My husband of five years is an alcoholic. He was sober when I met him and stayed sober for about a year. He used to be a case a day drinker. I brought three children to the table and he brought two, so we are a big family and blended.
Lately we've been having some relationship issues. We both come from very dysfunctional families and never really dealt with the crap from our past, so now it's kind of creeping up on us. Never knew how much dealing with your past mattered...until now.
My husband has gone back to drinking and is turning into quite the monster. I never know what kind of night to expect. Sometimes drinking can make him fun loving and cheerful and other nights it can be that I get called every name in the book. He never does it in front of the kids, but they are not stupid, they know something is up.
I think I might be an enabler....not sure how to fix this. I'm scared of myself and my potential to abuse. I'm sober about 95% of the time just because I'm scared of what I could become, but I'm still an addict.
He says he is not mad at me, that he is mad at himself. But his actions say otherwise. He is going back to AA and me......I don't know about me.......
I'm here to learn, I'm here to cry, I'm here to rejoice, and I'm here because I'm exhausted of feeling alone. My husband doesn't like to me talking about our "problem".....I'm here because I'm feeling very isolated.
My husband of five years is an alcoholic. He was sober when I met him and stayed sober for about a year. He used to be a case a day drinker. I brought three children to the table and he brought two, so we are a big family and blended.
Lately we've been having some relationship issues. We both come from very dysfunctional families and never really dealt with the crap from our past, so now it's kind of creeping up on us. Never knew how much dealing with your past mattered...until now.
My husband has gone back to drinking and is turning into quite the monster. I never know what kind of night to expect. Sometimes drinking can make him fun loving and cheerful and other nights it can be that I get called every name in the book. He never does it in front of the kids, but they are not stupid, they know something is up.
I think I might be an enabler....not sure how to fix this. I'm scared of myself and my potential to abuse. I'm sober about 95% of the time just because I'm scared of what I could become, but I'm still an addict.
He says he is not mad at me, that he is mad at himself. But his actions say otherwise. He is going back to AA and me......I don't know about me.......
I'm here to learn, I'm here to cry, I'm here to rejoice, and I'm here because I'm exhausted of feeling alone. My husband doesn't like to me talking about our "problem".....I'm here because I'm feeling very isolated.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Well there are many people here in similar situations to you. Start by looking after you. If you don't like drinking, give it an miss and hope that your husband gets back on the wagon, But you are important too. xxxxxx
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