Char81

Hi everyone.

Looking for advice and to find people in similar situations as myself. Long story short, been with boyf 5 years, he has been addicted to heroin on/off 10 years. Been on methodone programme for 6 of those years. He was honest when ergot together, he had been 3 months clean and remained clean for a further 3 months. Needless to say the last 5 years have had many problems with him continuing to use on top. He has a dvt in his leg from long term use and sometimes finds it difficult to walk about. Anyway in February this year, he got an amazing job ( I'm so proud of him) which has the potential to change his life. He came to me and his family on valentines day and for the first time HE actually said (he's said similar things but not this and never so honest) ' I don't want this no more' he made the decesion to stop with the methodone and go into suboxone. Watching him go through the transition, was awful and he admitting there was times when he wanted to hang in the towel. But he got through it. Skip forward 7 weeks and he is working and seems different. The relationship has been damaged by his disease, we are both aware and on valentines day we both said that 'the past is the past, clean slate and positive thoughts moving forward' we both agreed to give it a chance. On Saturday he called and said he felt very confused and didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore, obviously I was upset. He said he loved me but he doesn't know if our relationship could be repaired. We spoke for ages, he decided to give it a go and we would take it day by day. I love this man. I love his strength, he's soooo intelligent, his ability to make me smile, even when he is having a down day, he is so kind and I know he loves his family. I know he is a good person, I can see it. I don't want to get back what we had, I want to rebuild with him and get to know him again. We both decided that relationship counselling would benefit us (he already sees a counsellor) and I hope that we can get through this. I don't want to loose him, but I will respect his decesion. He said he loves me and will miss me so much if we did spilt. I know I'm being a little selfish and he had to focus on his recovery, but I can't help but feel a little scared. Anyone else been through this - any advice good or bad would be appreciated

least

Welcome to the family. Your bf has to want to get clean for himself. You can't make him want that. I hope you are getting support for yourself as well. It's hard living with an addict. Have you thought about NarAnon meetings? We also have a forum for friends and family of addicts. Give it a look.


Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Char81

Oh I believe he is doing this for himself, he's never done it for me or his family, and I know he never would. I honestly believe his reasons are 1. His health, he could loose a leg. 2. His new job, he loves it - he knows that he can't live a crazy life and work, he tried it before and it didn't work. 3. He's had enough.
He tried NA and he really doesn't like it, prefers the counselling one on one. Thank you for your advice