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A few sober observations-117 days

Old 03-24-2014, 09:59 PM
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A few sober observations-117 days

Happy to say that this is the longest time I have been sober since I started drinking 20 years ago! I quit before for 3 months 7 years ago but I quit for other reasons then I did this time. One thing that I am noticing lately is my ability to make decisions. When I was drinking I was incapable of really thinking things through or even bothering to. I really was just fixated on trying not to be insane. It always felt like fight or flight. Also, as a drunk I became terribly isolated and insecure about myself and felt like my voice didn't matter. Now I feel like I am actually thinking again and am discovering that I actually have opinions. Before it was as if making excuses was my default setting and now I am feeling like I deserve more then what I used to ask of myself. It's such an unfamiliar feeling however it's a good feeling. One thing I really knew when I was drinking was that I was emotionally stunting myself. I had completely stopped growing or learning or observing or challenging myself and lived in constant fear and shame. Everyday has is ups and downs and it's still a rollarcoaster, but less so than the day before. It's actually really quite a miracle to me when I think back the hell I was in.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:21 PM
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Well done cusper. You are exactly correct, it is surprising how much drinking actually suppresses our lives mentally, emotionally and physically. I know how much smoother my life is when i am not walking around in a drink induced haze.
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Old 03-25-2014, 04:40 AM
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Congratulations and thanks for the great post, I agree, mental clarity is one of the greatest benefits of sobriety!
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:07 AM
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Thank you for the insights Cusper its great to hear how things will improve after recovery!
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:51 AM
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Great post, Cusper. I relate to it. Decision making and planning were also some of abilities that got seriously harmed by alcohol during my worst times in the last ~2 years before quitting. For me this effect was one of the most disturbing because these, plus independence, were some of my strongest abilities before drinking became a serious problem... Can't say that I feel like my old self after ~2 months sober now, but I do hope it's coming - having more and more moments of clarity and strength now.

Congrats on your sobriety and progress, that's fantastic!
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Old 03-25-2014, 07:46 AM
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Great post. I am struggling with the same exact issues night now.

Its very encouraging to see that the isolation, anxiety and indecision starts to melt away after time. I hope to follow your path and get out of the rut that I put myself in. Thanks for sharing specifics rather than the usual 'life is wonderful now'.
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Old 03-25-2014, 11:58 AM
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Well said, thanks for the insight. Wishing you peace.
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Old 03-25-2014, 12:22 PM
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Well done cusper, and thanks for the inspiration.
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Old 03-25-2014, 12:22 PM
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Congratulations - you are an inspiration!
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Old 03-25-2014, 02:12 PM
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Congratulations Cusper

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