New here. New start
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lancashire
Posts: 4
New here. New start
Hi all
I have been lurking around here just reading for a while, finally plucked up the courage to admit to myself that my drinking has got out of control. I have already gained a lot of support from you all in making the choice to gain control of my drinking rather than it controlling me.
A bit about my journey so far. 13 years ago I gave up a bad crack cocaine habit. About 6 months later I also stopped drinking (although I rarely drank in those days) due to religious reasons.
My marriage broke down 3 years ago and after about 6 months I started to drink again. Initially it was the odd glass of wine but for the last 2 years I have drank a bottle of wine a night, although occasionally it would creep up to 1.5 bottles. I used to tell myself it was just to unwind but then it became a habit. I have only had about 4 non alcohol days in the last 2 years.
I have started to lose focus at work, my skin is looking terrible and my kids have started to mention conversations I can't recall fully. This last point I feel totally ashamed at. I am not sure whether I am an alcoholic or not but the very fact I am unsure makes me think I am.
Anyway, today I have took the step that I am not going to drink on a work night anymore. Still trying to mentally work up to not even drinking at the weekend either. I am rather proud of myself that tonight (although I was fighting with myself as I came up with loads of reasons why one drink would be ok), I never had a drop!
I just need to carry on in this frame of mind.
Thanks to all who have posted on here as it has given me the strength to know I am not alone
I have been lurking around here just reading for a while, finally plucked up the courage to admit to myself that my drinking has got out of control. I have already gained a lot of support from you all in making the choice to gain control of my drinking rather than it controlling me.
A bit about my journey so far. 13 years ago I gave up a bad crack cocaine habit. About 6 months later I also stopped drinking (although I rarely drank in those days) due to religious reasons.
My marriage broke down 3 years ago and after about 6 months I started to drink again. Initially it was the odd glass of wine but for the last 2 years I have drank a bottle of wine a night, although occasionally it would creep up to 1.5 bottles. I used to tell myself it was just to unwind but then it became a habit. I have only had about 4 non alcohol days in the last 2 years.
I have started to lose focus at work, my skin is looking terrible and my kids have started to mention conversations I can't recall fully. This last point I feel totally ashamed at. I am not sure whether I am an alcoholic or not but the very fact I am unsure makes me think I am.
Anyway, today I have took the step that I am not going to drink on a work night anymore. Still trying to mentally work up to not even drinking at the weekend either. I am rather proud of myself that tonight (although I was fighting with myself as I came up with loads of reasons why one drink would be ok), I never had a drop!
I just need to carry on in this frame of mind.
Thanks to all who have posted on here as it has given me the strength to know I am not alone
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,428
Welcome newstarter 
I understand that - most of us have bargained with our addiction.
Just sharing my experience here but I really think you'll find it easier if you cut out the weekend drinking as well.
I would look forward to the weekend so much I'd start on Friday lunchtime, then it become Thursday, then Wednesday...
D
Anyway, today I have took the step that I am not going to drink on a work night anymore. Still trying to mentally work up to not even drinking at the weekend either.
Just sharing my experience here but I really think you'll find it easier if you cut out the weekend drinking as well.
I would look forward to the weekend so much I'd start on Friday lunchtime, then it become Thursday, then Wednesday...
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome Newstarter - You'll find the support you're looking for here. We're glad you joined us.
I did the same thing. After years of abstinence I picked up again - without giving it much thought. I never dreamed I'd crash and burn so quickly. It brought me right down to my knees in the end. Thankfully, you're seeking help and encouragement before it gets to that point. Well done on no alcohol today.
I did the same thing. After years of abstinence I picked up again - without giving it much thought. I never dreamed I'd crash and burn so quickly. It brought me right down to my knees in the end. Thankfully, you're seeking help and encouragement before it gets to that point. Well done on no alcohol today.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,775
Welcome to SR from another wino. It is possible to quit drinking completely and live a good life sober. I quit over four years ago, best thing I ever did for myself.
I hope the support here can help you stay sober for good.
I hope the support here can help you stay sober for good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lancashire
Posts: 4
Thank you all for the encouraging words, it has been great waking up without that guilty feeling and knowing there are no empties in the bottle bin!
I guess I would love to be able to manage on just being a "normal" weekend drinker, but the fact is that as you said I think it would start to creep back into my daily life.
I have "given up" for one night before then rewarded myself a drink the next night. This time I am determined to do it and I am sure I will now I have found you all here. None of my friends or family know I am in this place in my life so I am doing this alone!
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Welcome newstarter
Just sharing my experience here but I really think you'll find it easier if you cut out the weekend drinking as well.
I would look forward to the weekend so much I'd start on Friday lunchtime, then it become Thursday, then Wednesday...
D
Just sharing my experience here but I really think you'll find it easier if you cut out the weekend drinking as well.
I would look forward to the weekend so much I'd start on Friday lunchtime, then it become Thursday, then Wednesday...
D
I have "given up" for one night before then rewarded myself a drink the next night. This time I am determined to do it and I am sure I will now I have found you all here. None of my friends or family know I am in this place in my life so I am doing this alone!
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Newstarter. Welcome to SR!
Your drinking pattern sounds pretty much like mine.
I started with one glass "to unwind", then a bottle was not enough to unwind me.
I understand your wish to be a "normal" drinker who can have a glass or two on weekend. But...Never worked for me. When I joined to SR I was afraid to commit to life-long sobriety. I "secretly" believed that I would gather a few months of sobriety, "get myself together" , and would be able to be a "normal" drinker again. And what in the world all these people are talking about?
Weekends turned out to be quite fine without wine. There are a lot of ways to "unwind" myself without wine. And I can finally see clearly without "wine fog".
Give sobriety a try - it's worth it.
Best wishes to you)
Your drinking pattern sounds pretty much like mine.
I started with one glass "to unwind", then a bottle was not enough to unwind me.
I understand your wish to be a "normal" drinker who can have a glass or two on weekend. But...Never worked for me. When I joined to SR I was afraid to commit to life-long sobriety. I "secretly" believed that I would gather a few months of sobriety, "get myself together" , and would be able to be a "normal" drinker again. And what in the world all these people are talking about?
Weekends turned out to be quite fine without wine. There are a lot of ways to "unwind" myself without wine. And I can finally see clearly without "wine fog".
Give sobriety a try - it's worth it.
Best wishes to you)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Lancashire
Posts: 4
QUOTE=MidnightBlue;4550079]
I understand your wish to be a "normal" drinker who can have a glass or two on weekend. But...Never worked for me. When I joined to SR I was afraid to commit to life-long sobriety. I "secretly" believed that I would gather a few months of sobriety, "get myself together" , and would be able to be a "normal" drinker again. And what in the world all these people are talking about?
Weekends turned out to be quite fine without wine. There are a lot of ways to "unwind" myself without wine. And I can finally see clearly without "wine fog".
Give sobriety a try - it's worth it.
Best wishes to you)[/QUOTE]
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It means a lot and a great comfort that someone can relate to my situation, makes me feel that I am not alone and a total failure! In my heart of hearts I know that being a weekend drinker will only be putting a "safety blanket" there in case I fail in sobriety!
So glad I finally got the courage to join here!
Anyhow, I am usually at this tome of night halfway through a bottle... BUT 2nd day in withput a drink. Small achievement I know but long may it continue
I understand your wish to be a "normal" drinker who can have a glass or two on weekend. But...Never worked for me. When I joined to SR I was afraid to commit to life-long sobriety. I "secretly" believed that I would gather a few months of sobriety, "get myself together" , and would be able to be a "normal" drinker again. And what in the world all these people are talking about?
Weekends turned out to be quite fine without wine. There are a lot of ways to "unwind" myself without wine. And I can finally see clearly without "wine fog".
Give sobriety a try - it's worth it.
Best wishes to you)[/QUOTE]
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It means a lot and a great comfort that someone can relate to my situation, makes me feel that I am not alone and a total failure! In my heart of hearts I know that being a weekend drinker will only be putting a "safety blanket" there in case I fail in sobriety!
So glad I finally got the courage to join here!
Anyhow, I am usually at this tome of night halfway through a bottle... BUT 2nd day in withput a drink. Small achievement I know but long may it continue
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