Can't I binge drink like a normal youngish person?
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Can't I binge drink like a normal youngish person?
Hi! I posted here yesterday and spent much of the day after that reading stuff on here (did not drink for the first time in months; also, incidentally, was unable to sleep.)
I want slash need to stop drinking every day. But do I really have to give up the concept of binge drinking with family or friends when the occasion arises? I'm frustrated with my inability to not drink every goddamn day. But if I broke that habit, couldn't I go out with friends and get smashed only every once and a while and be a normal twenty-something? And when I go on family vacation, can't I drink bud light all day like everyone else and then stop when the vacation is over?
I do not know if I can do that and be okay otherwise, because I've never been out from under the daily drinking habit to test such a theory. But if I could that would be ideal. My problem has never been that when I binge drink I lose my ****. I drink more than most people when I go out with people, and I do end up drinker than most, but not by much. No one, literally no one in my life but me, has ever suggested I have a drinking problem.
But my problem is that in order to get out from under the daily drinking habit, I need help from some group or something because I definitely can't do it on my own; trying and failing for the better part of two years made that pretty clear.
The reason that's a problem is that if my goal is to be a binge drinker with family and friends, that's by no means sobriety, so what right do I have to ask for help from groups who help people get sober?
What is wrong with my logic? Because something has got to be wrong somewhere.
I want slash need to stop drinking every day. But do I really have to give up the concept of binge drinking with family or friends when the occasion arises? I'm frustrated with my inability to not drink every goddamn day. But if I broke that habit, couldn't I go out with friends and get smashed only every once and a while and be a normal twenty-something? And when I go on family vacation, can't I drink bud light all day like everyone else and then stop when the vacation is over?
I do not know if I can do that and be okay otherwise, because I've never been out from under the daily drinking habit to test such a theory. But if I could that would be ideal. My problem has never been that when I binge drink I lose my ****. I drink more than most people when I go out with people, and I do end up drinker than most, but not by much. No one, literally no one in my life but me, has ever suggested I have a drinking problem.
But my problem is that in order to get out from under the daily drinking habit, I need help from some group or something because I definitely can't do it on my own; trying and failing for the better part of two years made that pretty clear.
The reason that's a problem is that if my goal is to be a binge drinker with family and friends, that's by no means sobriety, so what right do I have to ask for help from groups who help people get sober?
What is wrong with my logic? Because something has got to be wrong somewhere.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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How can I find out? Should I give up on support groups and this site and just get a therapist?
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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What I want to know is not, can I do it? I figure only I'll find that out. What I want to know is, if that's what I'm trying to do, is it ... Okay to use sobriety support groups and that sort of thing to get me through the days, and to learn how to live on a regular basis without drinking? Is that a weird question?
Also, Anna, you're right. I would love to have goals like that. But what I mean is, that would be my goal in regard to alcohol ...
Also, Anna, you're right. I would love to have goals like that. But what I mean is, that would be my goal in regard to alcohol ...
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Parnellat - for what's it's worth I found that once the addiction genie is out of the bottle there is no getting him back in. I wouldn't want to be an occasional user even if I could because it would be mental torture for me to try to exercise that level of self control all the time. It would be an absolute nightmare.
I guess a question for you is why do you find the thought of binge drinking appealing? Even if it was possible to not go back into the daily drinking rut is that something you really want?
I guess a question for you is why do you find the thought of binge drinking appealing? Even if it was possible to not go back into the daily drinking rut is that something you really want?
I've been around this SR forum for a few months and spent a fair bit of time in the rooms of AA.
I can tell you that I've seen a lot of people - and even BEEN one of them - come into the forums and the rooms trying to 'use' them for support not to STOP drinking, but to attempt to CONTROL drinking.
I myself have tried to fool myself that I wasn't "like them". Just needed a little reminder and some help making sure I didn't get out of hand. Looking at "them" as a warning so as not to let it get too bad... at least I'm not THAT bad.... etc.
None of us can judge whether you're right or wrong. If we're doing it right, we've got our own inventory to take, our own sobriety to work.
My opinion is that if you have enough of a concern regarding your use of alcohol to find yourself exploring addiction forums, then you have enough of a concern to be here.
Your specific goals and motives are your business. Learn what you can, try what it is you're feeling compelled to, and remain open to learn what you can from the experience.
I can tell you that I've seen a lot of people - and even BEEN one of them - come into the forums and the rooms trying to 'use' them for support not to STOP drinking, but to attempt to CONTROL drinking.
I myself have tried to fool myself that I wasn't "like them". Just needed a little reminder and some help making sure I didn't get out of hand. Looking at "them" as a warning so as not to let it get too bad... at least I'm not THAT bad.... etc.
None of us can judge whether you're right or wrong. If we're doing it right, we've got our own inventory to take, our own sobriety to work.
My opinion is that if you have enough of a concern regarding your use of alcohol to find yourself exploring addiction forums, then you have enough of a concern to be here.
Your specific goals and motives are your business. Learn what you can, try what it is you're feeling compelled to, and remain open to learn what you can from the experience.
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I don't even know for sure that it's what I want. Maybe talking to people about this stuff and learning will convince me it isn't. I don't know. I want to know if it's disrespectful and dishonest to be here or to go to an aa meeting.
Can't I binge drink like a normal youngish person?
Can't I binge drink....
I'm trying to understand whether it's ... Dishonest and disrespectful to others to use support groups and websites where people are trying to stay completely sober to pursue a different goal.
I don't even know for sure that it's what I want. Maybe talking to people about this stuff and learning will convince me it isn't. I don't know. I want to know if it's disrespectful and dishonest to be here or to go to an aa meeting.
I don't even know for sure that it's what I want. Maybe talking to people about this stuff and learning will convince me it isn't. I don't know. I want to know if it's disrespectful and dishonest to be here or to go to an aa meeting.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
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Hi! I posted here yesterday and spent much of the day after that reading stuff on here (did not drink for the first time in months; also, incidentally, was unable to sleep.)
I want slash need to stop drinking every day. But do I really have to give up the concept of binge drinking with family or friends when the occasion arises? I'm frustrated with my inability to not drink every goddamn day. But if I broke that habit, couldn't I go out with friends and get smashed only every once and a while and be a normal twenty-something? And when I go on family vacation, can't I drink bud light all day like everyone else and then stop when the vacation is over?
I do not know if I can do that and be okay otherwise, because I've never been out from under the daily drinking habit to test such a theory. But if I could that would be ideal..
I want slash need to stop drinking every day. But do I really have to give up the concept of binge drinking with family or friends when the occasion arises? I'm frustrated with my inability to not drink every goddamn day. But if I broke that habit, couldn't I go out with friends and get smashed only every once and a while and be a normal twenty-something? And when I go on family vacation, can't I drink bud light all day like everyone else and then stop when the vacation is over?
I do not know if I can do that and be okay otherwise, because I've never been out from under the daily drinking habit to test such a theory. But if I could that would be ideal..
Congrats on day 1 !!
I'm pretty sure everyone on this forum was pretty terriffied at the prospect of giving up alcohol early on. Picture yourself giving it up for a week ?
A drug counselor asked me to do that our first meeting , initially I was shocked, but about a half hour later, riding home.and it felt like a great weight had been lifted (as I processed it )
....it was the first time I'd realized I must've stepped over the line somewhere and uncounsiously been thinking; I have to drink today
....anyway, that week sober was the first in 5 years .
The start of a whole new life, I never saw coming or could've imagined.
You may want to challenge your thinking about what "normal twenty somethings" actually do. I was so emersed in a daily drinking culture, it was a HUGE surprise to see the world thru a different lense.
You can give yourself permission to do anything you want, including not drinking for, say; .. 3 months.
Just a small amount of time compared to what "normal twenty something " girls do,...... during a pregnancy.
How about today, ....do you plan not to drink again ?
What does that feel like ?
Welcome to SR
I'm trying to understand whether it's ... Dishonest and disrespectful to others to use support groups and websites where people are trying to stay completely sober to pursue a different goal.
I don't even know for sure that it's what I want. Maybe talking to people about this stuff and learning will convince me it isn't. I don't know. I want to know if it's disrespectful and dishonest to be here or to go to an aa meeting.
I don't even know for sure that it's what I want. Maybe talking to people about this stuff and learning will convince me it isn't. I don't know. I want to know if it's disrespectful and dishonest to be here or to go to an aa meeting.
I don't believe moderation is a skill you can acquire, I believe it an inherent behavior in most people. Some of us could or have tried to perhaps drink in moderation if we were to summon all of our mental strength. But in having to exert so much energy to stay within the lines we are still letting alcohol run the show. It is like having a car that keeps pulling hard to the left, we might be able to fight it and get around for a while, but at some point it is easier to just address the problem.
You will hear here that once you become a cucumber you can't go back to being a pickle. None of us want you to be a cucumber, only you can decide. But what we can offer is our stories and hope.
I haven't been on here long but I've been sober 3 weeks. When I saw an addictions counsellor last year, the idea of never drinking again was so far from imaginable I thought it was ridiculous. What about at restaurants, Christmas parties, Saturday night hockey games? I figured I'd just cut out the "bad" daily drinking and drink like "normal people". I realized very soon, as you may, that "normal drinking" doesn't happen for me. I'm not normal. And I never will be. I can't do moderation and 1 drink always leads to a dozen drinks, which leads to drinking the next day and the next..... It feels like an unattainable goal right now, I know, but if you're reaching out to addiction support groups I think you know it's a real problem deep down. Just don't drink today. And check back in tomorrow. Good luck.
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No. I do not. I tried to find an aa meeting but there aren't any in my area late enough tonight for my schedule, so I'm going first thing in the morning.
Frankly for now it feels wonderful. Yesterday I was working on a writing project and for once I wasn't fighting with the fog in my brain. It was really nice. I'm hoping this evening is the same.
I've had this thought oh so many times! I just want to drink socially with friends & family & not be the one left out. It's a nice little lie my addiction has told me too many times to count & I always end up back at square one! I honestly can't wrap my brain around never ever drinking again so I focus on not drinking today! I know how hard the struggle is so no judgement here! I just hope at some point we can all realize how amazing & fun we are without having to down the beers to bring our "fun sides" out.
^I can so relate.
One thing that I find myself kind of marveling at is how many situations and people there are that involve alcohol....
Can it really BE that in order for people to be included and have FUN there must be alcohol??
No... it cannot... and here's why I know that to be true; Children.
Watch children at play. Observe the pure joy that children carry with them.
Children are the essence of Human before wounds and stress and expectations and perceptions shaped them....
Why does society have such a powerful emphasis on needing to get loaded to relax, have fun, experience joy?
And - indeed.... IS IT REALLY EVEN relaxation, fun or Joy at all - if one must drink poison to experience it?
One thing that I find myself kind of marveling at is how many situations and people there are that involve alcohol....
Can it really BE that in order for people to be included and have FUN there must be alcohol??
No... it cannot... and here's why I know that to be true; Children.
Watch children at play. Observe the pure joy that children carry with them.
Children are the essence of Human before wounds and stress and expectations and perceptions shaped them....
Why does society have such a powerful emphasis on needing to get loaded to relax, have fun, experience joy?
And - indeed.... IS IT REALLY EVEN relaxation, fun or Joy at all - if one must drink poison to experience it?
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