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Can't I binge drink like a normal youngish person?

Old 03-24-2014, 09:46 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Interesting about the insomnia. I take sleeping pills in order to sleep (side effect of years of shift work), but have found that since I stopped drinking I'm actually sleeping great! When I'd go to bed drunk, I'd wake up every hour until finally at 3, when is wake up sweaty and with my heart racing and I couldn't fall back to sleep. Not nice when the 2 and 4 year old wake up full of energy at 7! :-/
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Old 03-24-2014, 09:56 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by parnellatwood View Post
I don't know if these were meant to be rhetorical questions, but I'm going to answer them :p

No. I do not. I tried to find an aa meeting but there aren't any in my area late enough tonight for my schedule, so I'm going first thing in the morning.

Frankly for now it feels wonderful. Yesterday I was working on a writing project and for once I wasn't fighting with the fog in my brain. It was really nice. I'm hoping this evening is the same.
That's how it was for me,too !?!

After a month , I kept asking myself;

....damn, I feel so good, has life been this easy for everyone all this time ?

Somehow I'd convinced myself at least half the people on the road (and most folks in the bar) drank like I did., ..... jeeze, was I wrong ?!!

Congrats on day 2 !!!!
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:03 AM
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All I can to is offer my experience and hope that others can gain insight from it. One very important aphorism/insight I learned here is to, when looking at other problem drinkers to look for similarities not differences. For me, I wasted years looking at people I knew who "had problems," and saying to myself, "I'm not like them, I have never_____, and I don't_____." But if I would have looked for parallels between my drinking and theirs, I would have seen that I was on the same path, true, at different point of the path, but I was there all right.

Also, I tried hard for years to get back to "enjoying" the occasional wild night. Did not work for me is all I can say. Sure, I went through spells where I would grind through some sobriety as I waited for the green light to let it rip, but, again, I was on the path, not headed in a good direction. Dang, I wasted so many years trying to find ways to drink.
Good luck, and I hope you find what's best for you. Keep an open mind as to what's "normal" and what's not.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:07 AM
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Just keep reading and posting here. Participating in a community over time can have a subtle yet powerful impact on the way we think and act. There are probably very few of us here who haven't been right where you are at or who are yet to arrive where you are at, and I applaud your honesty.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by malcolmsloan View Post
All I can to is offer my experience and hope that others can gain insight from it. One very important aphorism/insight I learned here is to, when looking at other problem drinkers to look for similarities not differences. For me, I wasted years looking at people I knew who "had problems," and saying to myself, "I'm not like them, I have never_____, and I don't_____." But if I would have looked for parallels between my drinking and theirs, I would have seen that I was on the same path, true, at different point of the path, but I was there all right.

Also, I tried hard for years to get back to "enjoying" the occasional wild night. Did not work for me is all I can say. Sure, I went through spells where I would grind through some sobriety as I waited for the green light to let it rip, but, again, I was on the path, not headed in a good direction. Dang, I wasted so many years trying to find ways to drink.
Good luck, and I hope you find what's best for you. Keep an open mind as to what's "normal" and what's not.

YEP!!!!

I like the metaphor of an elevator.... looking at the stories of the people we're NOT LIKE, we can often see parts of their story we ARE LIKE.

And we picture an elevator, we can think of it going down... down... down...

first floor; blackouts
second floor; arguments over our alcohol use with family / friends
third floor; DUI
fourth floor; tried to quit but couldnt
fifth through 13th floor... continued to try to quit but couldn't
14th floor; lost job

etc. etc. etc...

How far down the shaft to the ROCK HARD BOTTOM we go, is up to us. We can get out and change to the GOING UP elevator of sobriety any time we grasp the true desire to do so...

And then we can start riding that UP elevator to glorious new heights...
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:27 AM
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My binge drinking is what got me here.
Believe me when I tell you, you ain't going to like the end results of it
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Coltybear View Post
Interesting about the insomnia. I take sleeping pills in order to sleep (side effect of years of shift work), but have found that since I stopped drinking I'm actually sleeping great! When I'd go to bed drunk, I'd wake up every hour until finally at 3, when is wake up sweaty and with my heart racing and I couldn't fall back to sleep. Not nice when the 2 and 4 year old wake up full of energy at 7! :-/
Oh I don't sleep well drunk either. If anyone does they're a lucky mutant creature from what I can tell. Here's hoping the insomnia doesn't last too long ... Ha ...
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:19 PM
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our thinking is pretty messed up if our GOAL is to stop drinking every day and instead learn how to BINGE drink. hopefully if you can get a few good sober days under your belt....come out of the fog a bit, you can review that idea and come to a better healthier conclusion for your life!
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:43 PM
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I still fantasize about going on a binge for a "special" occasion like a bachelor party or a vacation. But then a remember how I felt for days after and its not worth it. Drinking seems to have a place in almost every social gathering. I've been going to more and more and not drinking and having a great time. A couple people actually noted I'm much more engaging to talk to sober...go figure. Good luck on your journey!
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Old 03-24-2014, 02:01 PM
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Seeks, can I just say, I just saw your tag line there--"I never regret NOT drinking"--and I suddenly remembered that when I do drink heavily with friends and family ... I tend to say or do things I regret. No one ever says anything; I'm not an angry drunk or anything dramatic. I over-share or lock myself in guest rooms or throw up in peoples sinks or talk bad about people or make inappropriate sexual advances ... Yeah. Is any of that normal? It certainly isn't good. I regret it. I forgot, about the regrets. How do i do that? I guess I just am never sure if I *should* be regretting that stuff or if it's just silly shenanigans. But my friends don't get up to that sort of thing. A few members of my family do. But I think my track record is laden with a whole lot more bad shenanigans than my friends' are. I think if I could learn to enjoy people sober I'd ... Live with fewer regrets? Feel ridiculous less often? Be a better friend? Maybe I'm just a wimp who can't tolerate a little embarrassment.

I don't know why I'm struggling so much with whether I'm *enough* of a drunk to commit to real sobriety. Shouldn't this be simple? It doesn't feel simple. I think I have to try to moderate before I can believe that I can't do it. Though I have this itching feeling that I really can't. My thought patterns are so much like everyone else's on here. And they're so, so ... Disorderly. Twisty. But I still can't quite believe I need to be totally sober. I

I'm sorry this thread has gone in so long. I know I don't deserve this much attention. Im also not sure this is the place for this thread. But anyway, even if no one else responds I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has already.
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Old 03-24-2014, 02:25 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by parnellatwood View Post
I think I have to try to moderate before I can believe that I can't do it.
I think you may have unknowingly answered your own question right within this thread. Read what you just said that I quoted above.

Now read what you said in your original post of this thread - specifically where you said:

"I'm frustrated with my inability to not drink every goddamn day."

That, my friend, is about as black and white of a statement of failed moderation that anyone can make.
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Old 03-24-2014, 03:23 PM
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My situation is much the opposite of yours. It is similar in that I drink every day, with the exception of a few 8 or 9 day stretches and a six week stretch about a year ago. What is different is that I don't drink around other people or at social events, because most people think I have quite drinking. I drink in my room in secret. I have tried to quit, and keep on coming back and giving it another try, so I hope one of theses days I'll be successful. Right now I'm telling myself that I'll only drink the 2 glasses of wine I have left at home when I get out of work tonight, and then I'll quit. We'll see how that goes. That's what I said last week also.
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Old 03-24-2014, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by scintillady View Post
My situation is much the opposite of yours. It is similar in that I drink every day, with the exception of a few 8 or 9 day stretches and a six week stretch about a year ago. What is different is that I don't drink around other people or at social events, because most people think I have quite drinking. I drink in my room in secret. I have tried to quit, and keep on coming back and giving it another try, so I hope one of theses days I'll be successful. Right now I'm telling myself that I'll only drink the 2 glasses of wine I have left at home when I get out of work tonight, and then I'll quit. We'll see how that goes. That's what I said last week also.
Actually scintillady I *dont* see people very often. I usually drink alone myself; that's my daily habit. I'm just remembering the times when I have specifically drank with others; that was more frequently until the last six months or so, when drinking alone has become my sole priority if I'm not at work. I drink sometimes in secret from my boyfriend. Other times I say f it and drink in front of him because he doesn't say anything.

So were in the same ish boat, it turns out.

Good luck tonight. I obviously have no wisdom for you. But I, also, am doing my best not to drink secretly in my room this evening.
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Old 03-24-2014, 03:42 PM
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Hi and welcome parnellatwood

I started as a binge drinker and ended up an all day everyday one. I don't think I was any better off as a binge drinker, it was just a another point on the curve of my alcoholism.

I used to think everyone binge drank too - now I realise it was the the social group I ran with - who better for an out of control drinker to hang with but other out of control drinkers?

D
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Old 03-24-2014, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted by parnellatwood View Post
But if I broke that habit, couldn't I go out with friends and get smashed only every once and a while and be a normal twenty-something? And when I go on family vacation, can't I drink bud light all day like everyone else and then stop when the vacation is over?
.
Tried it....doesn't work. I am now 42yrs old and on Day 4. I wish I had questioned my drinking 20yrs ago and decided to stop then. I even had times when I wouldn't drink for extended periods but it was always there lurking....and the binge drinking didn't stop ...I just did it alone because my non-alcoholic friends outgrew that phase.
By the way you are in the perfect place. Questioning yourself is how recovery begins and I am grateful you are here acknowledging your drinking habits are causing you concern.
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Old 03-24-2014, 06:24 PM
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I didn't read the thread and what others posted.
My only thought is....

If you look up binge drinking does it mention 'normal' anywhere in the description?
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Old 03-24-2014, 07:11 PM
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Originally Posted by LBrain View Post
I didn't read the thread and what others posted.
My only thought is....

If you look up binge drinking does it mention 'normal' anywhere in the description?
I know it's not healthy, but it's not nearly as bad as what I'm doing on a daily basis.

I'm just being honest about what I'm working through, here. I mean, if I *can* drink only in binges with friends or family, if I am *capable* of that, I want to do it. I do.

The problem is I can't seem to stop drinking for even two days. Today is day two and this is *hard.* Driving home and passing the various gas stations at which I would generally buy this evening's supply was *hard.* Getting home and just sitting at my computer, reading some stuff on the internet, and not getting up to go to the Quickstop, that was *hard.*

And yet still ... It's like I see "binge drinking with friends and family" as one unrelated thing, and "this whole thing I have going on in my life where I drink to passing out every single night alone and drink in the car on the way home and leave my apartment looking like a glass beer bottle recycling center at the end of every weekend" as another unrelated thing. I want to quit one. I don't want to quit the other. Are they separate? Are they related? I've never had a major, huge problem with how I behave when I binge drink with family and friends. I'm not like a princess at those times or anything, but I can pass for normal.

And that's the logic that I can't seem to see as crazy, even though all the collective wisdom of the drunks on the internet, which I have been reading about on and off for years now, seems to say it is.

Also please no one hate me for these posts. I'm really trying to understand. I know there's probably something wrong with what I'm thinking. But what if there isn't? If there's somewhere else, even another forum unrelated to this one, where I should be thinking about this kind of stuff instead, just let me know and I'll go there.
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Old 03-24-2014, 07:22 PM
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I think it's likely you have a pretty unhealthy relationship with alcohol...you're just having trouble coming to terms with the enormity of that.

I did it too - I thought drinking with friends was better than drinking alone, I thought beer and wine was better than hard spirits, and I thought binging was better than all day drinking....

always bargaining to somehow keep alcohol in my life....

I'd point to the few times I could keep it together as proof I could be a responsible drinker....and forget the 100s of times I couldn't.

Honestly, I think binging was actually worse for me in real terms because of the concentrated drinking I'd do over a Friday night to Sunday night period.

I'm amazed I'm alive, seriously.

D
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Old 03-24-2014, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by parnellatwood View Post
Frankly for now it feels wonderful. Yesterday I was working on a writing project and for once I wasn't fighting with the fog in my brain. It was really nice. I'm hoping this evening is the same.
^this

Odds are you'll have many posts like the above. So why not participate?

You sound like the kind of person who will refrain from saying what an "awesome dude" night you had drinking, lol. In fact, the more days like these that you have - writing, enjoying a clear head - the less appealing those binge drinking possibilities will seem. And then you'll have more cool things to say. . . but I digress

If your question is *not* "can I moderate?" and instead "is it okay for me to be here?" my answer is "yes, of course!"
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Old 03-24-2014, 07:43 PM
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My story. I wanted to go to March with no drinks this year. Made it six weeks. Then binged only on weekends. Hardcore, to make up time, you see. Then the last time, decided I wanted binge through Monday. Ended up in ER with a deadly BAC that has killed others.

Moderation, why bother? I only want more or get frustrated I can't. My goal was to get drunk, not moderate.

Binge drinking can be just as dangerous as daily drinking. My daily drinking never landed me in the ER. Bingeing did.

Be careful and keep reading SR.
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