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Old 03-23-2014, 09:47 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I Really Want to Die.


So, I have been sober since January 18, 2014. I have worked really hard. I know my past behavior was never easy on my family (but I never stole, lied, I finished college, I have a descent full-time job).

I was never like my mom or sister my whole life...even before some mental health issues surfaced.

I was told last month that my lease will not be renewed because it is in forclosure (privately owned). I do not have the money to get a new place right away. The plan was to stay with my mother (a mile down the road) to save and stay until I can get a new place.

I made n offhanded text to by sister (she and my mom are like BFFs) that paying $350 a month was not all that cheap (I could get a roommate for a bit more)...and I won't have my own things, I can't touch the way the room is set up, etc. I also said she was already telling me what I could and could not do. This meant not bringing any belongings, how I had to keep the room, etc,. Not to do with drinking (which - no longer do) or anything. It was an offhand test.

My sister told my mother and now she is firm that she will not let me stay there. I have no where else to go...even though I do work.

And I have a dog so sublets are hard.

I just met a guy that I wrote about on here but we talked extensively and worked it out. I really like him. He knows nothing about my issues with mental health or alcohol in the past.

Now he knows I am just aboht homeless. I have only been seeing him a couple weeks.

But the real issue here is I have NO PLACE TO LIVE.

I have sold almost everything in preparation to live back at my moms. No I have almost nothing and I have no idea what to do.

I have a job...but how do I keep it with no home? And I don't have any friends to ask for help.

I want to die.
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:11 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm sorry Nicole.

I hope someone here who knows your area can suggest something. It's a scary time I know but people face stuff like this all the time and they make it through. I have faith that you will too Nicole.

Maybe check the local accommodation notices for places to share that are dog friendly? might be the first stop?

D
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Do you have any friends that would let you crash at their place for a time so you can get some cash saved?

The first place you end up getting may not be what you want but allow you to hide away money for a better place for maybe six months in the future. There's so many places that accept pets now. It might not be as difficult as you think.
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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no, I have few friends here in FL as I have not been here long. And when I was still drinking, I alienated the ones that I did have.
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Look into a shelter. They aren't as scary as you might think. It's at least a place to show, eat and have a warm clean place to rest your head at night. If you have income there must be a way to have a place to live.

Call up some half way houses or Sober Living Homes and see if they will work something out with you. I know I stayed at a place for a couple months without much income and they let me stay with some extra work around the house.

There are options. Maybe you can take a sick day and really pound the phone lines. You'll be less anxious if you actually are making some contacts with people.

Pray.
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:19 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi, Nicole.

So sorry about your situation. I understand how you feel - I faced the same situation not so long ago.

I worried like hell and wanted to die a well. What helped me to keep sanity is taking one day at a time, focusing on what I could do, even thought it was just little things.

Sorry, I can't give you some more practical advice. Just words of support.

Please, stay with us and keep posting.
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi Nic, I'm kinda in the same boat. The place I was working at closed in 2011 June and haven't found a steady job since! I had to move out of my apt I was at for a long time ....sold what I could to get a few bucks. I'm struggling to find work and at the same time struggling with sobriety (way too much downtime) . I go to a noon meeting during the week and that helps! Weekends I try to spend with my adult daughters ..I pray alot! But I'm scared once I do get a job and a new place, I'll fall back into my old ways ...But I think about the oldtimers that have decades of sobriety! I want what they have! It's an up hill battle! Let's ALL help eachother climb this hill we call life! ONE DAY AT A TIME! I hope you find the strength! I pray for all of us!
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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The thing is is get a $2,000 bonus 2 weeks after I need a new place. I may be able to do something with that. I can live out of my car for 2 weeks...we have showers at work...and I belong to a gym. And can stay at a cheap hotel a few nights. I guess


The sad part for me is the heartlessness of my mom and sister. I am bipolar, recovering alcoholic and have survived 2 suicide attempts. I am doing well now. And they are just so petty. One remark. Between sisters and it wasn't evil...I was just venting and stressed. And she runs and tells my mother.

Now I have no family here. Not that I care about anyhow.
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:33 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I found it kind of empowering not to rely on my family Nicole...my family's help always came with terms and conditions.

I hope you'll work out something for you, and your pooch

D
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:33 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I gotta ask, if you though your sister would tell your mother what you said, why did you say anything?
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We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

That's the funny thing about decisions. You never seem to have to talk yourself into the right one. - Frank Reagan

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Old 03-23-2014, 11:44 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I gotta ask, if you though your sister would tell your mother what you said, why did you say anything?
I had no idea my sister would say anything. In fact I didn't think much of what I did say.
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I had no idea my sister would say anything. In fact I didn't think much of what I did say.
My apologies. I misread your original post.
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We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

That's the funny thing about decisions. You never seem to have to talk yourself into the right one. - Frank Reagan

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Old 03-24-2014, 12:11 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I can live out of my car for 2 weeks...we have showers at work...and I belong to a gym. .
my wife got to know two ladies at the gym who were homeless
they did fine

plus you have something that they didn't have -- a job
that's great

I know it's not easy
but
sometimes we just need to be grateful for the things that we do have

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Old 03-24-2014, 08:20 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I suggest you check with your city and county tenant resources, tenants have rights.
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:27 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I suggest you check with your city and county tenant resources, tenants have rights.
There is nothing illegal about this. I am just not prepared because I thought I has other living arrangements.
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:31 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Nicole,

I'm with Dee. I would step away from your mother and sister. You don't need added stress in your life right now, and they are not going to be there for you. You'll feel better if you stop expecting their help.

I hope you can manage with the cheap hotel, gym showers, etc until you can manager to find some permanent living arrangements.
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:33 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Look on Craigslist. There are ads for roommates, sublets and recovery homes. your sister is probably jealous. Keep your expectations high and look for the best.
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:36 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Try googling sober living and also Oxford House in your area. They are very reasonably priced (what you would have paid with your mom) and in general let you move in within days of being accepted and since you are in recovery, you definitely qualify
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:46 AM   #19 (permalink)
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That is really tough...You may be able to find some assistance from this site for people who are struggling: www.needhelppayingbills.com....I hope things can get worked out with your family, though. If not maybe you could share a place with several roommates. I saved money by sharing a house with three other people and lived in a nice, safe neighborhood. Plus I liked it better than living all alone.

That must really hurt to have your mom and sister turn on you like that, especially when you're already down . Well keep us posted, wishing you the best
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:47 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Is it possible your Sis or Mom (or anyone) would look after your Pooch ?
, while you get things sorted out .

Some campgrounds or short term places don't allow dogs, but some might.
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