Coltybear

Um? Hello. Not sure what to say here...

I'm a 30 year old nurse, wife, mother- respected by me peers, loved by friends and family- and most of them don't know, I'm an alcoholic.

The past two years have been rough. A rocky marriage and two small kids (2.5 and 4), and what used to be a fun social habit quickly spiral into bottles of vodka hidden around my house. At the worst of times, I drank everyday I didn't have to work (I only work twice a week) and no one even realized. It became all I thought about and all I wanted.

20 days ago I decided enough was enough. I saw an addictions counsellor for a year last year and that didn't help at all. This time, with the push and support of my BFF I'm going at it alone.

I feel amazing. On cloud nine. Each day is an accomplishment that I cherish. And each day is getting slightly less difficult.

I hope to find support here and get to know some people going through recovery. I don't think I'm the stereotypical alcoholic....but then again what do I know?

Ps - ColtyBear is a play on both my kids names. Love those two with every cell of my body. <3

ontherightpath

Congratulations on your decision to quit. Like you, I am also a married mother of 2, and I love them all with every ounce of my being. I would take a bullet for them, but I couldnt quit drinking for them. This alcoholism is so much bigger than me. I hope that you can find the support that you need to maintain sobriety!

SoberLeigh

Welcome, ColtyBear, to SR. This is a great place for support and understanding.

You might want to join a class; if you look under Forums you will find the Class of March 2014; I am part of the Class of February; I found being a part of a class to be so very helpful. (I am sorry that I am terrible at attaching links; I am sure a Moderator (Dee) will soon see your post and provide the link to the class).

Again, welcome.

Mrrryah1

Glad u are here. There is no stereotypical alcoholic. An alcoholic is a person who is struggling with their drinking. I'm. 27 year old female, great fiancé, great career, loving family, university educated, normal upbringing, and I'm a seriously struggling alcoholic. Have u been to an AA meeting yet? You'd be surprised at how little they will meet the stereotype u have in mind. I know I was.

Coltybear

In just the few minutes of scanning this forum, I'm already amazed at how many women and young people are here. My stereotypical image of an alcoholic is quite the opposite. That's why I had such a hard time using that label. None of my colleagues have a clue anything is awry at home. Only a small handful of my closest family and friends. I've tried to quit drinking so many times. Cut the vodka, just wine and beer. But they're too high in calories, so back to vodka but only half a bottle, blah blah blah. Same story every time, downing the booze straight from the bottle hidden in an old purse in my hall closet. It got to the point that I didn't even enjoy the feeling of being drunk. And the guilt! Oh the guilt. Every morning I'd swear I'd do better. And I'd fail everytime. This time it's for my children. I will not go back.

Mrrryah1

I so relate Colty, to every word. I hope u stick around <3

Coltybear

Wow this is great. I already feel so understood. I haven't done AA. Just couldn't do it. I opted for one on one counselling which wasn't helpful. I'd leave be sessions and stop off at the liquor store on the way home. Ha!

Mrrryah1

Oh god. Even the old purse in my bedroom closet. I guess that wasn't so original after all hahaha.

Mrrryah1

They say that only an alcoholic can really understand and help another alcoholic. That's why Aa works. We need to be understood and we need help from each other, as cheesy as I know that sounds. I'd hope u might consider just checking it out. This site is a great stepping stone too - and is full of others just like u and me

Coltybear

My difficulty is with the logistics. My 2 and 4 year old are home with me everyday. Plus I work 2 night shifts a week. Our family life is so busy the whole 90 on 90 just seems impossible.

Mrrryah1

Well 90 in 90 isn't for everyone lol. That's an extremely high expectation to set of a person and by no means a requirement of AA!!!

Mrrryah1

(The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking - nothing more nothing less. No other requirements at all!!) but I'll stop preaching lol, congrats on 20 days and keep it up good night!

Mish

Welcome Coltybear. x

Coltybear

Still trying to find the march2014 group. Any help would be great. Also, silly question but, I added a pic to me profile (social media generation!) but don't see many others. Do people not generally post personal pics?

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome, Coltybear! I only have one point of disagreement- you don't have to go it alone! SR is such a great resource. Having this site helps keep me accountable. I just couldn't bring myself to lie about drinking here.

I have been a big fan of AVRT. It and SR have helped me to stay sober since Oct 2012, no relapses and few cravings. And this from a guy that drank 20 bottles of wine a week for years.

Dee74

Welcome Coltybear

Mistical

I'm a wife & mommy of three! It takes time to open up to people about our addiction and you will find so much support here! Congrats on taking the first steps! I completely relate to this amazing love we have for our children but yet that love didn't stop my drinking. My recovery began when I finally gave everything to God! Will keep you in my prayers

KateL

Welcome Cotlybear xxx