Well, That Escalated Quickly
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey PN
The thing that swung it for me was when my grandma died . When was i going to get sober and have the life i wanted and deserved ?
You know how it goes with drinking , one more time , once again round that merry go round .. When does it end ? If not now then when ?
You know what it's like , one more reason , one more .. one more ..
I got sick and tired of the same old lies, half truths and justifications coming out of my mouth ..
My gran died , life seemed to terribly short , fragile and beautiful , if not now then when i asked myself . Now i live it fully each day sober .
you can too .
Bestwishes, m
The thing that swung it for me was when my grandma died . When was i going to get sober and have the life i wanted and deserved ?
You know how it goes with drinking , one more time , once again round that merry go round .. When does it end ? If not now then when ?
You know what it's like , one more reason , one more .. one more ..
I got sick and tired of the same old lies, half truths and justifications coming out of my mouth ..
My gran died , life seemed to terribly short , fragile and beautiful , if not now then when i asked myself . Now i live it fully each day sober .
you can too .
Bestwishes, m
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
How are you today PNM? I don't go to meetings but if they help you then maybe look to fit them into your life even if it means missing something else. Do what YOU need to do to stop drinking and stay stopped.
Don't ever be afraid to post on SR.That's what we're here for, When you feel at your worst that's precisely when you need the most help.
Don't ever be afraid to post on SR.That's what we're here for, When you feel at your worst that's precisely when you need the most help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Hope the Gym was good yesterday, so how about that meeting today?
Mecanix, the one more reason, one more reason thing definitely is an issue for me. I'm sorry about your grandma! I always wonder how I would react to losing someone close to me. I've been very blessed so far in life, and hope to have this all under control in the case I do have to go through something like that since everyone ages and it is inevitable I will lose someone close to me at some point. :-( I bet your grandma is very proud of you!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Hey Pinot…I think something significant has changed. I remember one of the first posts of yours I read, you had a friend coming to town and you stated "I will drink tonight".
I've been there and I had to walk through that place alone. When I came out on the other side and decided that the very thing I was fighting for was killing me I realized that the people here were ready to help now that I was ready.
You seem to be at that place. It is interesting to see a quiet determination come over someone when they realize that while this is serious, it is achievable. I am happy you are here!
I've been there and I had to walk through that place alone. When I came out on the other side and decided that the very thing I was fighting for was killing me I realized that the people here were ready to help now that I was ready.
You seem to be at that place. It is interesting to see a quiet determination come over someone when they realize that while this is serious, it is achievable. I am happy you are here!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by PinotNOmore
I just feel like I should be able to do this on my own... Without outside help and I know that is completely arrogant and obviously hasn't worked thus far. so as I sit in the parking lot debating... The fact that someone out there is thinking about me is good reason enough to head on in!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
I'm sure I thought about what would happen
if I died while I was still in my drinking career.
That my kids and family would be devastated.
Then, that very August 1990, after returning
home late from a club, my little ones fast asleep,
greeted by my husband and had another argument
and on a dare, I would end my miserable life and
off to bed I went after downing a handful of pills
with my last gulp of wine.
Never did I think about my babies last day of
vacation bible school that day and how much
fun they were looking forward to it. Never did
I have a moments thought of how my family
would react to find me dead from suicide.
No, nothing of the sort came to mind except
how angry I was at my husband and my life
and just wanted to disappear. Don't even remember
my kids trying to wake me for school. How I wasn't
responsive to them.....how scared and concerned they
must have felt to find their mom naked in bed with
no movement.
Then in the distance I awoke to the phone ringing
which was right next to my bed with my mother-
in-law looking for me and the kids at school wondering
where was I. With slurred speech I tried to tell her
what happened and she screamed for me to get out
of bed......that's all I remember before crawling out
of bed staggering to the bathroom to throw up what
I had injested a few hours before.
It wasn't long till my family intervened on me
having the authorities escort me to the back seat
of their handless car taken away like a common
criminal, so ashamed, hurt, angry, mad, pizzed
off....and was taken to the phyciatric hospital
for mental evaluation.
I passed all their test and was told I had a drinking
problem and ordered me to stay in rehab for a
few weeks which eventually turned into 28 days
upon my request.
My kids were taken care of so that I could do
what I needed to do to learn to stay sober and
return home to my little family.
That was the beginning of my recovery journey
August 11, 1990. 23 yrs. of many one days at
a time added together to get me where I am
today.....Happy....Healthy....Honest in all my
affairs.
if I died while I was still in my drinking career.
That my kids and family would be devastated.
Then, that very August 1990, after returning
home late from a club, my little ones fast asleep,
greeted by my husband and had another argument
and on a dare, I would end my miserable life and
off to bed I went after downing a handful of pills
with my last gulp of wine.
Never did I think about my babies last day of
vacation bible school that day and how much
fun they were looking forward to it. Never did
I have a moments thought of how my family
would react to find me dead from suicide.
No, nothing of the sort came to mind except
how angry I was at my husband and my life
and just wanted to disappear. Don't even remember
my kids trying to wake me for school. How I wasn't
responsive to them.....how scared and concerned they
must have felt to find their mom naked in bed with
no movement.
Then in the distance I awoke to the phone ringing
which was right next to my bed with my mother-
in-law looking for me and the kids at school wondering
where was I. With slurred speech I tried to tell her
what happened and she screamed for me to get out
of bed......that's all I remember before crawling out
of bed staggering to the bathroom to throw up what
I had injested a few hours before.
It wasn't long till my family intervened on me
having the authorities escort me to the back seat
of their handless car taken away like a common
criminal, so ashamed, hurt, angry, mad, pizzed
off....and was taken to the phyciatric hospital
for mental evaluation.
I passed all their test and was told I had a drinking
problem and ordered me to stay in rehab for a
few weeks which eventually turned into 28 days
upon my request.
My kids were taken care of so that I could do
what I needed to do to learn to stay sober and
return home to my little family.
That was the beginning of my recovery journey
August 11, 1990. 23 yrs. of many one days at
a time added together to get me where I am
today.....Happy....Healthy....Honest in all my
affairs.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Originally Posted by aasharon90
I'm sure I thought about what would happen
if I died while I was still in my drinking career.
That my kids and family would be devastated.
Then, that very August 1990, after returning
home late from a club, my little ones fast asleep,
greeted by my husband and had another argument
and on a dare, I would end my miserable life and
off to bed I went after downing a handful of pills
with my last gulp of wine.
Never did I think about my babies last day of
vacation bible school that day and how much
fun they were looking forward to it. Never did
I have a moments thought of how my family
would react to find me dead from suicide.
No, nothing of the sort came to mind except
how angry I was at my husband and my life
and just wanted to disappear. Don't even remember
my kids trying to wake me for school. How I wasn't
responsive to them.....how scared and concerned they
must have felt to find their mom naked in bed with
no movement.
Then in the distance I awoke to the phone ringing
which was right next to my bed with my mother-
in-law looking for me and the kids at school wondering
where was I. With slurred speech I tried to tell her
what happened and she screamed for me to get out
of bed......that's all I remember before crawling out
of bed staggering to the bathroom to throw up what
I had injested a few hours before.
It wasn't long till my family intervened on me
having the authorities escort me to the back seat
of their handless car taken away like a common
criminal, so ashamed, hurt, angry, mad, pizzed
off....and was taken to the phyciatric hospital
for mental evaluation.
I passed all their test and was told I had a drinking
problem and ordered me to stay in rehab for a
few weeks which eventually turned into 28 days
upon my request.
My kids were taken care of so that I could do
what I needed to do to learn to stay sober and
return home to my little family.
That was the beginning of my recovery journey
August 11, 1990. 23 yrs. of many one days at
a time added together to get me where I am
today.....Happy....Healthy....Honest in all my
affairs.
if I died while I was still in my drinking career.
That my kids and family would be devastated.
Then, that very August 1990, after returning
home late from a club, my little ones fast asleep,
greeted by my husband and had another argument
and on a dare, I would end my miserable life and
off to bed I went after downing a handful of pills
with my last gulp of wine.
Never did I think about my babies last day of
vacation bible school that day and how much
fun they were looking forward to it. Never did
I have a moments thought of how my family
would react to find me dead from suicide.
No, nothing of the sort came to mind except
how angry I was at my husband and my life
and just wanted to disappear. Don't even remember
my kids trying to wake me for school. How I wasn't
responsive to them.....how scared and concerned they
must have felt to find their mom naked in bed with
no movement.
Then in the distance I awoke to the phone ringing
which was right next to my bed with my mother-
in-law looking for me and the kids at school wondering
where was I. With slurred speech I tried to tell her
what happened and she screamed for me to get out
of bed......that's all I remember before crawling out
of bed staggering to the bathroom to throw up what
I had injested a few hours before.
It wasn't long till my family intervened on me
having the authorities escort me to the back seat
of their handless car taken away like a common
criminal, so ashamed, hurt, angry, mad, pizzed
off....and was taken to the phyciatric hospital
for mental evaluation.
I passed all their test and was told I had a drinking
problem and ordered me to stay in rehab for a
few weeks which eventually turned into 28 days
upon my request.
My kids were taken care of so that I could do
what I needed to do to learn to stay sober and
return home to my little family.
That was the beginning of my recovery journey
August 11, 1990. 23 yrs. of many one days at
a time added together to get me where I am
today.....Happy....Healthy....Honest in all my
affairs.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
SoberLeigh.....My son and daughter are wonderful,
talented, loving, caring little adults. Both graduated
college where my son is now the band director at
his high school, married and 3 beautiful kids. My
daughter, not married, but has an awesome job and
owns her own home.
They were 4 and 6 when I entered recovery and
they are now in their mid 20's.
With a combination of my recovery and
family from my husband side, we were
able to give our kids healthy guidance
and education to get them to where they
are today.
That is a gift in recovery that im forever
grateful for.
talented, loving, caring little adults. Both graduated
college where my son is now the band director at
his high school, married and 3 beautiful kids. My
daughter, not married, but has an awesome job and
owns her own home.
They were 4 and 6 when I entered recovery and
they are now in their mid 20's.
With a combination of my recovery and
family from my husband side, we were
able to give our kids healthy guidance
and education to get them to where they
are today.
That is a gift in recovery that im forever
grateful for.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by PinotNOmore
I told my therapist all about everything. She recommended 90 in 90. A great thought, but I cant make that work because of multiple reasons.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Originally Posted by aasharon90
SoberLeigh.....My son and daughter are wonderful,
talented, loving, caring little adults. Both graduated
college where my son is now the band director at
his high school, married and 3 beautiful kids. My
daughter, not married, but has an awesome job and
owns her own home.
They were 4 and 6 when I entered recovery and
they are now in their mid 20's.
With a combination of my recovery and
family from my husband side, we were
able to give our kids healthy guidance
and education to get them to where they
are today.
That is a gift in recovery that im forever
grateful for.
talented, loving, caring little adults. Both graduated
college where my son is now the band director at
his high school, married and 3 beautiful kids. My
daughter, not married, but has an awesome job and
owns her own home.
They were 4 and 6 when I entered recovery and
they are now in their mid 20's.
With a combination of my recovery and
family from my husband side, we were
able to give our kids healthy guidance
and education to get them to where they
are today.
That is a gift in recovery that im forever
grateful for.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Originally Posted by PinotNOmore
I know making drastic changes is in order. Today, I'm headed to the gym to try and work this anxiety out. Tomorrow I will head to a meeting.
But like I said, the good news is that it's easier this way. I'm not saying you shouldn't take it one day at a time, even one minute at a time. I'm not sure we have much choice; the only way up Everest is to take it one step at a time, right? I'm just saying that for me, it also proved key to keep my eyes on the prize, which was lifelong abstinence. Once I did that, I got more out of my daily efforts. I could feel the obsession weaken, bit by bit. And slowly, lifelong abstinence stopped feeling like a commitment. "Abstinence" stopped feeling like a synonym for "sacrifice," and started feeling like a synonym for "freedom." Lifelong freedom... who wouldn't want that?
Exercise yesterday, meeting today—sounds to me like you're on your way up Everest. You're going to be so glad you didn't give up!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
If you were dieing from a fatal disease would you be able to find an hour a day to cure yourself?
Last time I checked alcoholism is a fatal illness.
Sobriety is about choices. Some move us toward sobriety some away
Last time I checked alcoholism is a fatal illness.
Sobriety is about choices. Some move us toward sobriety some away
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Middletown, CT
Posts: 102
Keep in mind that you can not do this yourself. No amount of determination, new hobbies, or your own will power will keep you from drinking long-term. You need to get help and rely on that help and find your Higher Power and rely on that Higher Power. Your Higher Power doesn't have to be God, it can be whatever that means to you, whether it's another group of alcoholics, being outside, or something in the sky you can't explain.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 499
Today I accepted going to Intensive Outpatient therapy starting tomorrow. I have to take 3 weeks off from work as it's 9-4 monday through friday and 12-3 on saturday and sunday. I may lose my job doing this. Definately am losing important income for 3 weeks regardless. The counselor said if you had cancer and needed 3 weeks of treatment wouldnt you take the time to do it? I said yes. She said this is the same thing, alcoholism is just as deadly. So I am taking the leap.
When I told my boyfriend and my kids they were happy for me.
I agree if nothing changes nothing changes.
When I told my boyfriend and my kids they were happy for me.
I agree if nothing changes nothing changes.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Muunray
Today I accepted going to Intensive Outpatient therapy starting tomorrow. I have to take 3 weeks off from work as it's 9-4 monday through friday and 12-3 on saturday and sunday. I may lose my job doing this. Definately am losing important income for 3 weeks regardless. The counselor said if you had cancer and needed 3 weeks of treatment wouldnt you take the time to do it? I said yes. She said this is the same thing, alcoholism is just as deadly. So I am taking the leap.
When I told my boyfriend and my kids they were happy for me.
I agree if nothing changes nothing changes.
When I told my boyfriend and my kids they were happy for me.
I agree if nothing changes nothing changes.
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