How do you make a day 1 when you really don't feel like it?
 

I made 49 days earlier this year then fell off. I have appointment with addiction services tomorrow to do my "initial interview". But my head is not in the game. I want it to be in the game but, it is like, the stars aren't aligned... I know all the reasons I need to stop drinking intellectually but my id is getting in my way! I want tomorrow to be day 1 but I am worried it won't be.

When you want to be sober more than you want to drink, then you'll be able to stay sober. :)

Life is hard, but I get up everyday and trudge the road.

Amen.

Rather than focus on the "prison" of sobriety, try focusing on your freedom from alcoholism.

Least, I feel that way sometimes but not all the time. I need advice/tips about how to conjure up that feeling when the going gets tough...

Amajorityofone: I hear you.

The counselor told me at my last session that "sobriety" is so different than "not drinking". That resonated with me. I need to develop, and feel good about, a sober life. I know there is so much that can come from that. But sometimes I am so stressed, so bored, so want time alone... It's overwhelming sometimes.

I can't think of any 'advice' offhand to tell you as to "getting" that feeling of wanting to be sober more than anything. It just happened to me after my last relapse over four years ago. I was so sick of drinking I just couldn't do it anymore. I had to change. Change or die a drunk. :(

I changed. :)

Hi FR,
I'm reading a book right now called "Changeology" that is really helping me. In the past, I knew I wanted to quit, and had tried several times, but... You know how it goes.

This time I am trying something different: I am following the steps outlined in the book for achieving the change I want (staying sober), and I feel MUCH more confident than ever before that I can succeed. Perhaps this book would resonate with you and help you reach your goal...

We're all rooting for you!

Maybe I just need to read "Drinking: A Love Story" tonight. That always helps. But I have my little boy and we are going to watch ""Cosmos" tonight. Will probably fall asleep. Where is the time?

I had to go to the ER a couple of times, and have a bunch of depersonalization episodes that were really horrific. Then I quit, and thought I was gonna die of withdrawals and had to get on meds to lower my blood pressure and calm my tremors.

That's what it took for me. I wish I had the proper motivation or whatever before, but even waking up every day wishing I would quit, I was back at it in a mere few hours. This went on for years. I don't know what the answer is, sadly. I guess it just wasn't bad enough yet.

There's always going to be an excuse to drink or some arbitrary reason you can come up with to put off quitting. Each time you don't give in is a win.

Hi ForestRunner,
I did not want to quit drinking when I quit drinking. In fact, I didn't know my last drink was my last drink.
Even after five weeks of hospital and rehab, I didn't really want to quit drinking. But by this time I had five weeks of sobriety and I also didn't want to give that up. I did the one day at a time thing for a long, long time. It took months before my mind shifted from 'I am not drinking' to 'I don't drink'.
I really believe that my mind and body needed all that time to recover from the years of alcohol abuse.
It sucks and it is hard, but it really does get better.
It really does.
It takes time, but it gets better.
:)

When I would keep busting and start drinking again I would get really scared that what if this was the time I can't stop or can't reduce it.
Every morning or night I would say I am going to stop and stop forever and then I would drink.

I found that if I invested some time and thought into stopping, having a plan of how today was different and what I would do today to stay sober, I could stop and then I could work on the "forever."

I didn't know when my day one was until I was sober for several months. I knew it was time to put down the drink on many occasions before I finally did but, instead, I continued to add unnecessary suffering to my life and the lives of others. I was completely broken down by the time I dragged myself to detox. I never circled a day on my calendar in anticipation of stopping, nor did I ever attempt to moderate my drinking. Screwing around with planning and moderating would have cut into my drinking time. I knew I was a drunk, and so acted accordingly.

There may come a moment for you when you know it's time to stop. Disregard it at your own peril.

I had to fake it until I was in a position to make it.

Despite nearly dying, I wasn't convinced completely my drinking days were over.

I really plugged myself in here, and gradually I realised the choice was a simple one: I could be who I wanted to be - or I could drink...but not both.

Who do you really want to be FR? maybe think about that tonight when you're watching Cosmos with your son :)

D

I didn't know my last drink was going to be my last drink either.

I woke up one morning after drinking myself into a blackout episode the night before and decided enough was enough. I cried at the person I had allowed myself to become. I know it's only been three weeks but it was probably the best decision I've made in my life.

Thank you all.

But what? Everyone I know has a big "But...? C'mon, Simone, let's talk about *your* big "But".

I couldn't resist. That was from Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure. The gal wanted to do something but had lots of excuses. Her 'buts'. I think you used the word 'but' 4 or 5 times at the end.

Forest, let's talk about your big but. You clearly understand the ramifications of not getting sober. You see the benefits of quitting drinking. Others have shared with you reasonable experience, strength and hope. It makes perfect sense when you look at it.

So, get off your 'but' and make it happen. Do yourself a favor. happyface:

This is gonna sound awful and depressing but I have to be honest here. I once dreamed (during my drinking days, when I was really young) that I was lying in a coffin, looking at my feet. I think that image came in useful later on xxxxx