Some thoughts and frustrations..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 29
Some thoughts and frustrations..
I wasn't the type of alcoholic to drink every night.. I was the alcoholic that would start off with a casual drink with friends over the weekend.... And wake up at 4 am not knowing what the hell happened or what kind of damage I had done. My problem this weekend occurred Saturday.. My boyfriend and I were out shopping and normally we'd stop for lunch and grab a beer or drink, etc. (the thing with him is that he's NOT in the same situation so he can have a single drink and be fine). Obviously we didn't do that this weekend but I felt myself yearning so BADLY for that rush of excitement. I used to love going to these cutesy little martini bars or trendy tap rooms.. It was the greatest feeling to just kick back after a long week. I've learned my lesson.. I now know that feeling of excitement quickly turns into me spiraling into a drunken mess..
What I'm getting at is this.. I've been sober since 3/2/14 and although I'm very proud I've made it this far.. I have to say I missed drinking this weekend. And I'm mad at myself for missing it!! Shame on me for not enjoying life and my sobriety!
What I'm getting at is this.. I've been sober since 3/2/14 and although I'm very proud I've made it this far.. I have to say I missed drinking this weekend. And I'm mad at myself for missing it!! Shame on me for not enjoying life and my sobriety!
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
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Understand what you are feeling. An alcoholics selective memory remembers the "good" and forgets what prompts us to quit in the first place. Do not fall for the trap that leads us to reminding ourselves why we quit...by drinking again.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 29
I actually immediately felt better as soon as I let that out. It was almost as if I felt I was failing by missing the alcohol.. It was a relief to admit it.
You're right.. I have to remember why I started this journey in the first place. It certainly wasn't because of all the great times I was having!
You're right.. I have to remember why I started this journey in the first place. It certainly wasn't because of all the great times I was having!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
"rush of excitement
love going to these cutesy little martini bars or trendy tap rooms
It was the greatest feeling
I missed drinking this weekend
And I'm mad at myself for missing it!! "
Ah the wonders of the mind, how our mind glorifies our drinking days. Happy days ahead, just go drink, nothing bad will happen. Sure buddy nothing bad will happen. Those beer commercials man, it will be just like that, life of the party, women all around, booze flowing, smiling, laughing. Not puking, passing out, getting thrown in jail. Good Times Ahead the sign reads, but theres deep pot-holes everywhere, detours, takes you where you dont want to go my friend.
love going to these cutesy little martini bars or trendy tap rooms
It was the greatest feeling
I missed drinking this weekend
And I'm mad at myself for missing it!! "
Ah the wonders of the mind, how our mind glorifies our drinking days. Happy days ahead, just go drink, nothing bad will happen. Sure buddy nothing bad will happen. Those beer commercials man, it will be just like that, life of the party, women all around, booze flowing, smiling, laughing. Not puking, passing out, getting thrown in jail. Good Times Ahead the sign reads, but theres deep pot-holes everywhere, detours, takes you where you dont want to go my friend.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
trust that I know exactly what you're feeling. I'm 85 days old. And I still think it would be nice to just stop by and have one. My problem has always been 1 equals 10. I could never figure out the math...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
please don't shame yourself for feeling something totally natural and normal to your condition.
We've all felt those twinges of nostalgia. Our brains have become 'wired' to our addiction and when deprived of that substance will begin to focus on all the alleged goodness it brought.
Shame pulls us into a cycle of feeling bad about ourselves and that's a dangerous place for us.
You needn't be ashamed at ALL. Simply recognize it for what it is and choose to let go. Maybe take those opportunities to actively stop what you're doing and write down a few of the reasons you've chosen sobriety. Maybe write down the story of what REALLY happens in those "fun times"..... we have to retrain our brains in sobriety.
Keep up the great work.
We've all felt those twinges of nostalgia. Our brains have become 'wired' to our addiction and when deprived of that substance will begin to focus on all the alleged goodness it brought.
Shame pulls us into a cycle of feeling bad about ourselves and that's a dangerous place for us.
You needn't be ashamed at ALL. Simply recognize it for what it is and choose to let go. Maybe take those opportunities to actively stop what you're doing and write down a few of the reasons you've chosen sobriety. Maybe write down the story of what REALLY happens in those "fun times"..... we have to retrain our brains in sobriety.
Keep up the great work.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Keep it simple. Just don't drink. Feelings happen on their own, you can't help that.
No need to beat yourself up about a little nostalgia. At nine months sober I still feel it now and again. And why not? I had some good times sitting in craft brewpubs with a pretty girl, enjoying kobe beef burgers and a varied selection of international beverages. That part was pretty fun, and were that all it was about I would do it again.
But there's quite a bit more to the equation, unfortunately, a parade of horribles to follow those good times.
I have good times doing other things now, though, it's not like beer had the monopoly on fun (despite what it might feel like in early sobriety..). I just had to learn (re-learn?) some non-drinking pastimes. It took me out of my comfort zone for awhile. That's probably a good thing, from a development perspective.
No need to beat yourself up about a little nostalgia. At nine months sober I still feel it now and again. And why not? I had some good times sitting in craft brewpubs with a pretty girl, enjoying kobe beef burgers and a varied selection of international beverages. That part was pretty fun, and were that all it was about I would do it again.
But there's quite a bit more to the equation, unfortunately, a parade of horribles to follow those good times.
I have good times doing other things now, though, it's not like beer had the monopoly on fun (despite what it might feel like in early sobriety..). I just had to learn (re-learn?) some non-drinking pastimes. It took me out of my comfort zone for awhile. That's probably a good thing, from a development perspective.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 29
Each one of your responses has helped me so much.. I feel normal again!
To anyone struggling in the early days of sobriety.. Don't give up on SR and the great community of people here. It really brightens my day to know there are such genuinely good people in this world like you all!!
Thank you
To anyone struggling in the early days of sobriety.. Don't give up on SR and the great community of people here. It really brightens my day to know there are such genuinely good people in this world like you all!!
Thank you
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