Alcoholic boyfriend!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London england
Posts: 3
Alcoholic boyfriend!!
Hi, new to this site but could really use some help/advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years, we live together and have a 4 year old.
Since I met him he has always liked to drink, back then we were just 15, I was a bit naive and just thought he was 'cool' 😕
As we got older we would go to the pub every Friday and Saturday with friends and drink, I would always end up sober by the end of the evening making sure he got home safely!! He would stumble into the road etc....
I should have left him I know! Anyway, during the week he wouldn't drink anything, now I realise that was because he lived with his parents! We got on well and he was decent and caring!
When I found out I was pregnant he was over the moon, so happy and excited, we both were!
Cut a really loooong story short, the past 3 years he has drank about 4/5 beers everyday (probably about 3or 4 days a year that he doesn't!) he's become slightly aggressive/moody, can't keep awake after work, literally goes to bed before our daughter, and has recently started becoming mentally abusive towards me, he always seems angry with me?
My question is, how can you tell if someone is becoming Ill from their drinking? He looks so much different to a few years ago! And when he is asleep he seems fidgety and he itches his hands a lot! Liver damage??
After reading endless posts on alcoholics I have realised he is a functioning alcoholic, he works 7 days a week! But doesn't really have much money to show anymore? I wouldn't know, he will not have a joint bank account with me!!
Thankyou for reading my never ending story!!!
I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years, we live together and have a 4 year old.
Since I met him he has always liked to drink, back then we were just 15, I was a bit naive and just thought he was 'cool' 😕
As we got older we would go to the pub every Friday and Saturday with friends and drink, I would always end up sober by the end of the evening making sure he got home safely!! He would stumble into the road etc....
I should have left him I know! Anyway, during the week he wouldn't drink anything, now I realise that was because he lived with his parents! We got on well and he was decent and caring!
When I found out I was pregnant he was over the moon, so happy and excited, we both were!
Cut a really loooong story short, the past 3 years he has drank about 4/5 beers everyday (probably about 3or 4 days a year that he doesn't!) he's become slightly aggressive/moody, can't keep awake after work, literally goes to bed before our daughter, and has recently started becoming mentally abusive towards me, he always seems angry with me?
My question is, how can you tell if someone is becoming Ill from their drinking? He looks so much different to a few years ago! And when he is asleep he seems fidgety and he itches his hands a lot! Liver damage??
After reading endless posts on alcoholics I have realised he is a functioning alcoholic, he works 7 days a week! But doesn't really have much money to show anymore? I wouldn't know, he will not have a joint bank account with me!!
Thankyou for reading my never ending story!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: London england
Posts: 3
Sorry, I need to add what he does..
Hides empty beer cans in his car, wardrobe and down the side of our bed!
Always smells slightly of drink when he gets home from work
Takes a 'last beer' up to bed every night!
He had one week where he didn't drink as he'd had a very heavy weekend that made him sick, during this week he felt really tired, was quite quiet and generally didn't feel well.. Could this mean that he is alcohol dependent and needs beer?
Hides empty beer cans in his car, wardrobe and down the side of our bed!
Always smells slightly of drink when he gets home from work
Takes a 'last beer' up to bed every night!
He had one week where he didn't drink as he'd had a very heavy weekend that made him sick, during this week he felt really tired, was quite quiet and generally didn't feel well.. Could this mean that he is alcohol dependent and needs beer?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,471
I hope that your boyfriend will decide to stop drinking.
And, you may find support at AlAnon for yourself. Also there is a Friends & Families forum on this board, which may be helpful to you.
And, you may find support at AlAnon for yourself. Also there is a Friends & Families forum on this board, which may be helpful to you.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
Hi Crystals, just wanted to welcome you to sr, they've been a great help to me as a drinker but it was a decision, I, only could make, though my husband said I should cut down over the last few years.
As Anna says there is a great help here and a family and friends forum which may help you. Keep well xx
As Anna says there is a great help here and a family and friends forum which may help you. Keep well xx
Last edited by Mags1; 03-23-2014 at 02:18 PM. Reason: Spelling
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to SR! 
Sounds like your bf has a serious dependency on alcohol. That can only mean trouble. You say he's becoming verbally/emotionally abusive toward you. Not a good sign. I can also imagine that he doesn't do much parenting of your child.
You've been with him for a long time. How much longer will it take for things to get unbearable for you? He needs help, but he has to want it for himself.
I'd look into AlAnon for support for yourself. And give our friends and family forum a look.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Sounds like your bf has a serious dependency on alcohol. That can only mean trouble. You say he's becoming verbally/emotionally abusive toward you. Not a good sign. I can also imagine that he doesn't do much parenting of your child. You've been with him for a long time. How much longer will it take for things to get unbearable for you? He needs help, but he has to want it for himself.
I'd look into AlAnon for support for yourself. And give our friends and family forum a look.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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