Who the h3ll does this? So pathetic
 

Went on a business trip. Drank the entire trip starting with breakfast and throughout the day. At times secretly in the bathroom and then of course evenings into night. Missed meeting cause I overslept fought with my wife walked around a strange city half drunk like a loser. I'm nearly 40 and I can't stop this stupidity???? Feel like absolute jerk and dummy right now. What 40 yr old with kids and responsibilities does this?? I'm pathetic.

Yes you are!


And so was I. And so were many, many other people who have turned their life around on this site.
At least you acknowledge that you were pathetic and I'm sure that you never want to be that person again. And that's the beauty of it. You don't HAVE to be.

You could draw a line under your pathetic behaviour of the past and commit to a wonderul future of sobriety.

I sound as if i've been sober for ages, but I haven't. Just 2 weeks. And if I sound a bit harsh, I think it's because I'm talking to my AV as well as responding to your post.

Let's never be that pathetic person EVER again.

I have my hand up.

hi. I am 10 years more pathetic than you. Been sober since last june and then spent last two weeks drinking. Who does this!! Walking my dog with beer in my pocket, saying hi to other dog walkers but then pulling it out of my pocket as soon as they out of sight. Been out for beer every morning for the two weeks. was at my local supermarket at 8am yesterday, put some bread and a newspaper in basket to distract from beer and wine. I hope they thought I was going to a party in the afternnon but the shame is I know they knew I was buying it to drink straight away. you are right it is pathetic. but its not, we are ill, we cannot help it, we can help not touching any but once we touch it we are gone, I have done what you said (walked around a city in a drunken daze) many times but no more. This time I am back for good. Pleae use this website as much as you can. Only we undertstand.

First time in two weeks I have put computer on and first I see is your post. I feel for you and offer whatever comfort I can but the thing is I get it. I understand what you are doing, we all do, keep coming back. I am gonna be hooked on here for next few days cos I know I have a bad withdrawal to come.

Stay on this site. I am. Take care.

We've all done something on that magnitude or worse because of our choice to drink.

What would be sad is choosing to continue drinking vs seeking help to quit. I'm only guessing, but since you are here that tells me you have some desire to quit. Do you? If so today could be the day you get serious about it. It's 100% your decision.

All of us have been pathetic at one point or another. What's important tho is what you do now. You can get off this pathetic train and make a new life. How badly do you want it? :)

I did that, too, more times than I would want to remember... Worst of all, I've loved my job all along. Yet kept escaping reality into a liquid alternate dimension until it had become seriously successful... I also agree it's pathetic how we destroy the very things that matter most to us with addiction.

But at some point I started missing the real world again, desperately. I guess that's when many of us come here wanting to get sober.

I believe now that there is a way out of this. Only have ~2 months at the moment, but I'm sensing more and more connection with the world out there every day.
We can do this! :)

I was a sick person needing help. Emmediately.
Thank God my family stepped in with an
intervention getting me help I needed at
that time of my life. Especially since I didn't
think I had a real problem.

I was 30 yrs. old with a little family, married
about 8yrs. with 2 little ones, about 4 and 7
when I was sent to rehab via the back seat
of a police car. That first night I spent in the
crazy ward scared to death as I watch those
sick shuffling across the floor, hugging the
walls and mumbling. I surely wasn't that far
gone to be like those people.

The next day, I passed all the mental tests
and was told all I had was a drinking problem.
And was ordered to go thru rehab for 2 weeks.
After my 2 weeks was up, I was told if I returned
home I would surely drink again and they wanted
to send me away to a halfway house further
away and longer from my little family.

I begged to stay where I was and complete a
28 day inhab stay with a 6 week outpatient
aftercare program tact on. It was agreed and
I did complete all that was ordered for me before
I was set on my path to continue on my
recovery journey a day at a time with the
tools and knowledge taught to me to incorporate
in my everyday life.

That was 23 yrs. ago as I continue on my
journey passing on my own ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what my life was and
is like before, during and after alcohol.

Yes, I was sick and if I had stayed in my
illness, my alcoholism, im pretty sure I
would either be still drunk, committed
to a crazy ward for good, or dead.

I chose life. To live a happy, healthy,
honest life with a purpose.

You can too. :)

MightyFlea21 - I'm a 41 year old mother of 3 and I've asked myself that question many times. I finally got to the point where I knew if I didn't want to be that person or feel that way anymore I had to do whatever it took to stop it. I had to want it more than I wanted to drink. I had to accept that in trying to escape life's stress, I was only creating more stress for myself and in the end losing myself entirely. I had to be willing to feel uncomfortable. It's not easy to break the drinking cycle but it will get easier. You can do this.

I don't believe you are pathetic at all. You have the disease of alcoholism, and there is NO way that will ever make sense. It's rare to put this disease in remission with our minds and thoughts, as that is what sick. In the morning, you will tell yourself and soooo believe it, that you will never drink again, and you know in your heart you never will again....THEN, be it that night, next day, next week, whatever, you pick it up again, with the never drinking again thought completely absent....Where did it go? AA er's call it the strange mental block that accompanies the first drink...they are right. Hence the insanity...Heard someone else call it their "evil twin"...
Something has to happen, some mental shift, spiritual awakening, psyche change...call it what you want, in order to get sober, then hang on to that with everything you've got, while letting go at the same time. Again, you are not pathetic, the disease is, but you don't have to feel this way ever again.

MF, I agree 100% with the comments above. Sparkos hit the nail on the head.

Business trips to foreign places are the worst. Especially if you are on your own.

No disrespect: You need to get your choice right up front. Am I going to drink and behave inappropriately or am I going to have a shot at being sober? I've just been through that (and Sparkos too) and it took quite a bit of planning and willpower and whatever else you think will keep the monster at bay. The pressure can be, and most likely is, enormous. But it can be done.

There's temptation all the way, Mate and you need to put your desire for sobriety almost above your Client's requirements. It's tough, but it can be done. ANd the good thing is (ironically) the more you practice, the "easier" it will become.

PM me if you want some of the plans I tried. Not saying they work for everyone, but I got out of there in one piece and am actually looking forward to the next trip.

Strength, and keep posting.

All the best,

Bruce.

I did it when I was 48.

I stopped. It wasn't because I called myself a pathetic loser, though. (I called myself that, it just didn't produce any results.)

What are you doing besides calling yourself names to learn how to live happily sober after?

Hi MightyFlea. I was like Rachel - 10 yrs. more pathetic. I was a slow learner. The point is you are aware - and you are not willing to settle for this behavior. Some never see what drinking is doing to their lives, until it's too late.

I carried on that same way for many years. I walked my dog with a McDonald's cup filled with beer - stumbling along - I'm sure no one noticed. :) Dashed into the grocery store bathroom for a fix so I wouldn't have to face the produce sober. I was drinking 24/7 in the end. What a ridiculous thing to do to ourselves. Here's where the madness can end.

Thank you everyone for the reassurance and kinds words. I'm just so angry with myself because I knew I would drink during the trip. I caved so easily. As soon as I got through security I headed straight for the bar and then didn't stop until last night even though I was back home. I was doing ok before the trip. Was up to 2 weeks sober. All down the drain thanks to my pathetic behavior. Day 1 starts today. Hoping its also day 1 of not being a sad human being.

I see that you're frustrated and disappointed with yourself, and I hope you use that energy to move yourself forward. Why did you decide, before you left for the trip, that you were going to drink, and what can you do to prevent that happening another time? The goal is to learn and move on. :)

I'm a 39 year old married mom of two kids, who looks successful on the outside. I slipped after three weeks sober. Reading and posting on this site has helped me a lot.

What we do is not what we are MightyFlea.

I don't think you're pathetic at all - but I do think you need to do something different to make this the last time you feel this way.

any Ideas?

D

Me too

Hand up!

You are ill, not pathetic.
Get that and do something about it.
Self pity never sobered anyone up and just pours petrol on the fire.
Resolve that it changes, and it changes today.
If you do, the man in the mirror will one day become your friend.