Ex boyfriend in rehab
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Madrid Spain
Posts: 39
Ex boyfriend in rehab
Hey everyone
Haven't been here for a while had some things going on health and work.
My ex contacted me he is in rehab. I know I shouldve walked away but its something tat will always be there fir me. I just can't give up on anyone and I do still live that part of him that has a purity. Sounds odd but the only way I can explain it.
I am feeling worried and sad. I spoke yo him and he is having vitamin I'VE
His folks are with him he went voluntary to emergency and he told me he will always love me yo never forget it.
The next day he asked me yo join him in he be that god came to his home and sent his pixies and Gsaid he would be cross if he didn't join him there. He said it was beautiful and that's where he wants to go. And he asked me to.
Is he dying ? I am so upset please help I love him and don't want anything bad to happen to him.
He is being very secretive and just told ne he was in fir a vreakdown he had but I know. He ison a ward for liver and intestinal oatients. X thank you
Haven't been here for a while had some things going on health and work.
My ex contacted me he is in rehab. I know I shouldve walked away but its something tat will always be there fir me. I just can't give up on anyone and I do still live that part of him that has a purity. Sounds odd but the only way I can explain it.
I am feeling worried and sad. I spoke yo him and he is having vitamin I'VE
His folks are with him he went voluntary to emergency and he told me he will always love me yo never forget it.
The next day he asked me yo join him in he be that god came to his home and sent his pixies and Gsaid he would be cross if he didn't join him there. He said it was beautiful and that's where he wants to go. And he asked me to.
Is he dying ? I am so upset please help I love him and don't want anything bad to happen to him.
He is being very secretive and just told ne he was in fir a vreakdown he had but I know. He ison a ward for liver and intestinal oatients. X thank you
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Hi Thoughtful,
My ex broke up with me when I was in the hospital right before I went to rehab.
Honestly, it was probably the best decision she ever made. I was in rough shape and she deserved better. So much better. Something I just could not give her at that point. Looking back, I'm not angry or upset. I would have done the same thing in if I were in her shoes.
He is your ex for a reason. I know you're worried about him, but there is nothing you can do at this point. It's out of your control whether he gets sober and stays sober.
He's in a good place. A safe place where medical professionals will take care of him. The rest is up to him and only him.
If I were you (which I'm obviously not and you're going to do what you want anyway), I'd leave him alone and focus on yourself. How can you make your life better?
My ex broke up with me when I was in the hospital right before I went to rehab.
Honestly, it was probably the best decision she ever made. I was in rough shape and she deserved better. So much better. Something I just could not give her at that point. Looking back, I'm not angry or upset. I would have done the same thing in if I were in her shoes.
He is your ex for a reason. I know you're worried about him, but there is nothing you can do at this point. It's out of your control whether he gets sober and stays sober.
He's in a good place. A safe place where medical professionals will take care of him. The rest is up to him and only him.
If I were you (which I'm obviously not and you're going to do what you want anyway), I'd leave him alone and focus on yourself. How can you make your life better?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
You may be worried about him but it seems to me there's nothing you can do. He's there and has to go thru their regimen. If this if for his health then he'd best stay there and do what he's supposed to do to get better.
In the meantime, you take care of yourself.
In the meantime, you take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 373
What is holding you back from visiting him? I personally would visit and see what his situation is. Not everyone that ends up hospitalized from side affects from alcoholism dies, but some do. One of my colleagues did, pancreatic failure, but another acquaintance recently got a new liver and is doing fine, so you never know. You just don't need to end up with regrets.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi, Thoughtful2.
We've been down this road many times before. As I've suggested earlier, I don't believe you can live a meaningful life unless and until you break free of this very unhealthy relationship. That starts with getting yourself into therapy. All the wasted time and energy you've given over to saving him from himself has only left you more enmeshed in the relationship, and leaves you with a sense that you can't leave because you've already invested so much into this sinking ship.
The only guarantee I can give you is that the longer you allow yourself to be abused by this man, the more difficult it will be for you to detach from an extremely toxic situation.
We've been down this road many times before. As I've suggested earlier, I don't believe you can live a meaningful life unless and until you break free of this very unhealthy relationship. That starts with getting yourself into therapy. All the wasted time and energy you've given over to saving him from himself has only left you more enmeshed in the relationship, and leaves you with a sense that you can't leave because you've already invested so much into this sinking ship.
The only guarantee I can give you is that the longer you allow yourself to be abused by this man, the more difficult it will be for you to detach from an extremely toxic situation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Madrid Spain
Posts: 39
Hello again
I am listening believe me it is why I am with you guys. For help and support and I do feel it.
I know I have some thoughts and feelings to work through.
Xx
Excuse me for the spelling errors in my question.
I am listening believe me it is why I am with you guys. For help and support and I do feel it.
I know I have some thoughts and feelings to work through.
Xx
Excuse me for the spelling errors in my question.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Good to see you again Thoughtful 
I think there's some really good advice here.
It's very easy to get addicted to people too, even when we know it's bad for us.
This guy still sounds like he is playing with you and your head....that is not love.
Maybe this purity you still see is your fantasy of what you want this relationship to be?
I really hope you decide to stay strong and walk away.
D
I think there's some really good advice here.
It's very easy to get addicted to people too, even when we know it's bad for us.
This guy still sounds like he is playing with you and your head....that is not love.
Maybe this purity you still see is your fantasy of what you want this relationship to be?
I really hope you decide to stay strong and walk away.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Madrid Spain
Posts: 39
Hello all
Well I did it I walked away. It was hard but I feel better.
I just told him that he can talk to me if he needs but only by phone. I have detached myself and although not completely. I just have something in me that wants to be kind to others. Can't help it. But my life goes on as everyone else's does.
Thanks guys for the advice
xxx
Well I did it I walked away. It was hard but I feel better.
I just told him that he can talk to me if he needs but only by phone. I have detached myself and although not completely. I just have something in me that wants to be kind to others. Can't help it. But my life goes on as everyone else's does.
Thanks guys for the advice
xxx
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