AugustWest11

Caught myself before it got ugly. More family woes & pain has been bad. So I just drank a half pint of rum. Felt guilty about it & was "talking" myself into just keeping the buzz going. Snapped myself out of that though. I really am not regretting doing it; but feeling disappointed but will deal. Have a good weekend :-)

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Raider

Good luck and blessings.

least

I hope you can learn something from this so you won't do it again.

honeypig

August, don't know if you do AA or not, but I hope you can find yourself some good support (meeting if AA, other source if not) and get back on track.

Wishing you strength and clarity.

soberclover

Glad you pulled yourself out of a potential tailspin!

bigsombrero

Glad you stopped by August. Let's get back on the right track now, no more of that nonsense with the rum!

ReadyAtLast

welcome back.hope you can learn from it and have better ways of dealing with those feelings and situations when they arise again

GotGrace

I am glad you are back on track, August. You have worked too hard to throw it away!

AugustWest11

Don't do AA, as that involves leaving my "cell" lol Support really is not available, least right now. Not until I get this whole anxiety issue worked out. I just should have kept "steering" my ship instead of going on automatic. LoL Thanx all :-)

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ScottFromWI

As long as you keep telling yourself that things won't change AW. We've been down this road many times, you do have a lot of support to right here too if you choose to use it. Glad you stopped and came here, why not stick around for a while? Join the March thread...lots of nice folks there looking for and sharing support.

Dee74

I was wondering how to phrase it so as to not peeve you AW - and then Scott did it for me.

You get out of your recovery what you put into it, man.
When someone drinks again, that's a inarguable sign they need to do more.

Even joining the March thread and posting as often as you can would be a start AW

D

FreeFall

I'm surprised that you said you didn't really regret it, but it was disappointing. That shows so well the battle the AV wages against you. The AV didn't regret it at all, it won, and was quite happy you drank. It got the ball rolling so next time maybe you'll keep going until it gets ugly. The you that is trying to fight this was disappointed and made you come back and post and "deal".

I've never met a bottle of rum that will make family woes and pain go away. The ones I've met make it all way worse.

AugustWest11

Thanx Scott but My access to the net is very limited right now.

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AugustWest11

Didn't make the family woes any better or any worse. It did help my physical pain some, and I finally got more then 3 hours sleep. This av is not something I subscribe to; I don't regret it b\c If I do, then I will start trying to drown that out & end up in a worse spot then I am.

Right now things are very tough on me. I am in constant physical pain, not to mention the mental pain I am trying to deal with as well. Support would be a nice thing, but I need to deal w\ my anxiety issues first. At times I won't even leave my parents place b\c of my anxiety.

Some days I have no problem with being around people; then there are days like today I freak out at the very thought of going out in public. Matter of fact I was so bad today I had to get my father to get me cigs.

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